My husband was in a motorcycle accident - Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I'm ok. Still wound tight but trying to sort through it n let go. Went swimming with Jim today n had a good time. Just trying to get back to a sense of normalcy... if that's even possible after all we've been through.
I'm tired. I worked last night n got home at 7am. Went to sleep soon after n was woken up by nurse on my phone with an authorization # for a new ct scan in 4 weeks. That was at 10am. Been up ever since. I'd love to get back to a regular sleep pattern but it won't happen over night. I'm just so used to running off of 3-5 hours in 24-48 hours. It's crazy!
I went to the store today n I spent $20 on mums for the walk. I think after everything, I'm worth $20 in flowers.
I got purple n Burgundy colors. They should look beautiful once established. I haven't bought hardly any plants this year. Not even a hanging basket. That's just not like me because I love to buy n plant things n watch them grow! They feel like my babies! 
I've got Jim almost trained to NOT whack what I do have down! Took me almost 3 years to get it through his head which are plants!!! Not to mention the money wasted when he'd kill them. He's getting better though.
He looks really good today. No slurring, stumbling, assinine behavior. He's actually sober. It's nice but it's so early, I'm not holding my breath on anything concrete from him. He's taught me many times that I can't count on him being sober. I'm just taking it one day at a time and he is too. That's all we can do at this time. AND BREATH!!! I thank the Lord He didn't take him from me, even though we have our problems, I'm grateful I still have him in my life because I do love him n I know he loves me. He's just got an alcohol problem n he knows it.
I'm tired. I worked last night n got home at 7am. Went to sleep soon after n was woken up by nurse on my phone with an authorization # for a new ct scan in 4 weeks. That was at 10am. Been up ever since. I'd love to get back to a regular sleep pattern but it won't happen over night. I'm just so used to running off of 3-5 hours in 24-48 hours. It's crazy!
I went to the store today n I spent $20 on mums for the walk. I think after everything, I'm worth $20 in flowers.
I got purple n Burgundy colors. They should look beautiful once established. I haven't bought hardly any plants this year. Not even a hanging basket. That's just not like me because I love to buy n plant things n watch them grow! They feel like my babies! I've got Jim almost trained to NOT whack what I do have down! Took me almost 3 years to get it through his head which are plants!!! Not to mention the money wasted when he'd kill them. He's getting better though. He looks really good today. No slurring, stumbling, assinine behavior. He's actually sober. It's nice but it's so early, I'm not holding my breath on anything concrete from him. He's taught me many times that I can't count on him being sober. I'm just taking it one day at a time and he is too. That's all we can do at this time. AND BREATH!!! I thank the Lord He didn't take him from me, even though we have our problems, I'm grateful I still have him in my life because I do love him n I know he loves me. He's just got an alcohol problem n he knows it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow, Boxin, that is awesome news. Thanks for letting us know. Yes, I also think you have incredible strength. And if you are crying your heart out in the shower every night... well so have I on many occasions.
Keeping you both in my prayers.
Mike
Keeping you both in my prayers.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
AAAAAAAND we're back on the merry go round/roller coaster ride into hell. Lovely.
I know, with out a shadow of a doubt that he will never stop. I can not wait for PA Archery to come in the first week of October because I need a vacation from him. Oh, he'll sit n bitch because I will spend every free moment in the woods but conveniently forget about all those days he abandoned me to his bottle.
Go ahead... ask me if I give a damn right now?!!!!
He was good til yesterday. I had a friend over n he went n got Chinese food. Oh, I did mention elsewhere it was right beside the liquor store. He's like, do you trust me to go? I told him, You will make the right decision for YOU. And he did. He got a bottle. Good for him! He should be so proud as he held it together til his feelings got the best of him n he just couldn't fool me anymore, he started bitching about how I had him cuffed n thrown in jail. It's ********!
What the drunk fails to remember is how the day went when he was 302'ed. He was a danger to himself as he is n was suffering from brain trauma and he's thoroughly drenching his already injured brain in alcohol. He is showing every sign that leads to a brain bleed and I can not eff around because he was in fact released to my care!!! Brain bleed signs include slurred speech, CHECK; Headaches, CHECK; wobbly & unbalanced, CHECK; Weak & numbness in one or both arms & legs, CHECK (legs)...
So now, I'm suppose to ignore the signs?! I call the neuro and they tell me to do whatever it takes to get him down there. I tell him he is drinking and they say, GET HIM HERE NOW! I tell him, we have to go and he says no. I tell him again, if you don't go willingly, I will call the ambulance and the fight is on. He refused the ambulance so they left. His ex wife came over to talk to him to see if she could get him to go. He refused. She knew he needed to go. She left. His drs called me and asked me if we were coming and I told them he is refusing. They, along with ex wife now is telling me to 302 him and I did.
I had to fill the paper work out. It took over an hour for them to even get there. Two women came out and as I was almost finished and about to sign my name to my truthful statement, he came out of the house with a broom, demanding to know where I was, he was screaming and cussing at me, threatening me, smashed my car with the broom, denting it and tripping over himself. He showed them everything I wrote in my sworn statement. They called the county and it was approved within 30 minutes.
They were waiting for an ambulance. He came out of the house and when I heard his keys hit the sidewalk, my heart sank. I was outside in the neighbors yards watching him from the hill. I saw the cop come up the hill but I didn't know he was waiting for him. He got in the truck and started to turn it around and I knew I had to call 911 yet again to tell them he was driving drunk and I did. As he got to the end of the driveway, the cop pulled right in front of him. They were waiting for the ambulance and instead intercepted him. Pulled him out and cuffed him. They did NOT charge him with DUI. He was put in a constibles car n taken to the er for a CT SCAN. In reality, all he had to do was go willingly. Now he says, I never gave him an option to go. I just had him cuffed n taken to jail. He never went to jail.
He brought this up yesterday and he is doing it again tonight over the phone because I'm at work and he's at home, drunk. He is now saying that he will not go for the next follow up appt. He says I will have to cuff him. He's also on this welfare kick that if he was on welfare, they wouldn't even treat him so why should he go, the government just wants the insurance money from his state issued insurance plan. He's talking out of his ass and he talks a whole lotta smack when he's drunk off his ass. But hey... I'm so effing stupid. I don't know WTF I'm talking about... he says, I haven't drank! One thing I know is that when Mr. Wonderful drinks, he's far from pleasant n likes to pick til he's got me mad n hey, now he can drink in peace!
I am so sick of hearing about his 15 minutes in cuffs n how he was hauled off to his imaginary jail cell at the effin hospital. He says I hurt him. He told me last night that he feels he can't trust me because of what I did to him. He says, I'll never forgive you. YOU HURT ME!
WTF...
I know, with out a shadow of a doubt that he will never stop. I can not wait for PA Archery to come in the first week of October because I need a vacation from him. Oh, he'll sit n bitch because I will spend every free moment in the woods but conveniently forget about all those days he abandoned me to his bottle.
Go ahead... ask me if I give a damn right now?!!!!
He was good til yesterday. I had a friend over n he went n got Chinese food. Oh, I did mention elsewhere it was right beside the liquor store. He's like, do you trust me to go? I told him, You will make the right decision for YOU. And he did. He got a bottle. Good for him! He should be so proud as he held it together til his feelings got the best of him n he just couldn't fool me anymore, he started bitching about how I had him cuffed n thrown in jail. It's ********!
What the drunk fails to remember is how the day went when he was 302'ed. He was a danger to himself as he is n was suffering from brain trauma and he's thoroughly drenching his already injured brain in alcohol. He is showing every sign that leads to a brain bleed and I can not eff around because he was in fact released to my care!!! Brain bleed signs include slurred speech, CHECK; Headaches, CHECK; wobbly & unbalanced, CHECK; Weak & numbness in one or both arms & legs, CHECK (legs)...
So now, I'm suppose to ignore the signs?! I call the neuro and they tell me to do whatever it takes to get him down there. I tell him he is drinking and they say, GET HIM HERE NOW! I tell him, we have to go and he says no. I tell him again, if you don't go willingly, I will call the ambulance and the fight is on. He refused the ambulance so they left. His ex wife came over to talk to him to see if she could get him to go. He refused. She knew he needed to go. She left. His drs called me and asked me if we were coming and I told them he is refusing. They, along with ex wife now is telling me to 302 him and I did.
I had to fill the paper work out. It took over an hour for them to even get there. Two women came out and as I was almost finished and about to sign my name to my truthful statement, he came out of the house with a broom, demanding to know where I was, he was screaming and cussing at me, threatening me, smashed my car with the broom, denting it and tripping over himself. He showed them everything I wrote in my sworn statement. They called the county and it was approved within 30 minutes.
They were waiting for an ambulance. He came out of the house and when I heard his keys hit the sidewalk, my heart sank. I was outside in the neighbors yards watching him from the hill. I saw the cop come up the hill but I didn't know he was waiting for him. He got in the truck and started to turn it around and I knew I had to call 911 yet again to tell them he was driving drunk and I did. As he got to the end of the driveway, the cop pulled right in front of him. They were waiting for the ambulance and instead intercepted him. Pulled him out and cuffed him. They did NOT charge him with DUI. He was put in a constibles car n taken to the er for a CT SCAN. In reality, all he had to do was go willingly. Now he says, I never gave him an option to go. I just had him cuffed n taken to jail. He never went to jail.
He brought this up yesterday and he is doing it again tonight over the phone because I'm at work and he's at home, drunk. He is now saying that he will not go for the next follow up appt. He says I will have to cuff him. He's also on this welfare kick that if he was on welfare, they wouldn't even treat him so why should he go, the government just wants the insurance money from his state issued insurance plan. He's talking out of his ass and he talks a whole lotta smack when he's drunk off his ass. But hey... I'm so effing stupid. I don't know WTF I'm talking about... he says, I haven't drank! One thing I know is that when Mr. Wonderful drinks, he's far from pleasant n likes to pick til he's got me mad n hey, now he can drink in peace!
I am so sick of hearing about his 15 minutes in cuffs n how he was hauled off to his imaginary jail cell at the effin hospital. He says I hurt him. He told me last night that he feels he can't trust me because of what I did to him. He says, I'll never forgive you. YOU HURT ME!
WTF...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Why should I expect anything else but this. I can't. This is my life til he puts the shovel down n jumps in his hole. Oh well huh? I guess everyone's bottom looks different. Whatever he wants. It's his life. Doesn't matter that I'm his wife n partner. I'm second best to the bottle. This I know. Can't change it. Same shìt different day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Dear BoxinRotz,
Forgive me but your husbands sounds like he is in terrible shape. There is something I just don't understand. Considering his state a few days ago and the fact you filed a 302 and the police/ambulances had to come to your home, then why was he released. Why can't he just go into an involuntary lock-up? I don't get it and I don't get why people in positions of authority are not insisting upon this.
Sorry again for all you are going through... hugs...
Forgive me but your husbands sounds like he is in terrible shape. There is something I just don't understand. Considering his state a few days ago and the fact you filed a 302 and the police/ambulances had to come to your home, then why was he released. Why can't he just go into an involuntary lock-up? I don't get it and I don't get why people in positions of authority are not insisting upon this.
Sorry again for all you are going through... hugs...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I'm so sorry to hear what an exhausting and long day you had with your husband! I hope today will be a better day.
Just that. The reality is, you can't expect anything else from an active alcoholic. No matter how much you love him, love cannot stop his addiction or make him behave in a sane and rational way.
Your life could look different--could be different--if you made another decision. That is entirely up to you. Are the few moments of sobriety and affection from him worth the extraodinarily hard days that follow--the rages, the verbal abuse, the drunken tirades, the constant state of high alert because of all the damage he is causing himself?
No, you can't change him or his behavior, you can only change yourself and your behavior. Perhaps, someday, the pain of staying with your husband will be greater than the pain of leaving. Whatever you choose to do, we will be here to support you. As long as he is actively drinking, nothing else will be as important to him as the alcohol.
Just as an aside: If anyone, husband or not, no matter how drunk or out of their mind, took a broom and started beating on my car, I would press charges.
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
Why should I expect anything else but this. I can't.
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
This is my life til he puts the shovel down n jumps in his hole. Oh well huh?
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
I guess everyone's bottom looks different. Whatever he wants. It's his life. Doesn't matter that I'm his wife n partner. I'm second best to the bottle. This I know. Can't change it. Same shìt different day.
Just as an aside: If anyone, husband or not, no matter how drunk or out of their mind, took a broom and started beating on my car, I would press charges.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Just to clear up this 302 episode I wrote about today, it happened 2 weeks ago. I was trying to give back ground to him being pissy with me yesterday and the day before. This was before his last follow up from the neuro. I didn't really explain it n wanted to last night because he can't wrap his head around the events. He's warped n that is why. Every time I've tried to explain it, he gets mad even though he wants answers. Like I said, oh well.
The Dr, as stated previously, has released him to drive short distances to n from work or whatever. I can not stop him. He's going back to work, light duty on Friday. The neuro said it was ok. I trust the neuro more than him.
His drinking is out of my hands. Can't wait for OCTOBER!!! That is my time!!! I'm going to enjoy it because I deserve the peace n quiet of God's backyard! His sun rises n sun sets! His furry little creatures! His GOODNESS that I can only find alone, in the woods with Him by my side!
The Dr, as stated previously, has released him to drive short distances to n from work or whatever. I can not stop him. He's going back to work, light duty on Friday. The neuro said it was ok. I trust the neuro more than him.
His drinking is out of my hands. Can't wait for OCTOBER!!! That is my time!!! I'm going to enjoy it because I deserve the peace n quiet of God's backyard! His sun rises n sun sets! His furry little creatures! His GOODNESS that I can only find alone, in the woods with Him by my side!
xoxo
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
