My husband was in a motorcycle accident - Part 2
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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I was off this weekend. My dad n brother are coming over to do my electrical for the pool so I can get the permit out of the way.
He was telling me yesterday that I've ruined this marriage n I had no business sending him to the hospital. He's been ranging about all the pain I've caused him n I told him that I feel pain n he said, no you don't!
So selfish. It's all the bottle. I guess the links in our marriage are all broken. That's how it feels. He's I capable of feeling for me in any way. It hurts but it doesn't surprise me. He said, I'll never forgive you. He also said he's notgoing back to the neurological unit after this last appointment. I guess if he needs medical treatment, he should do it on his own or be incapacitated by the time I get home or wake up.
He was telling me yesterday that I've ruined this marriage n I had no business sending him to the hospital. He's been ranging about all the pain I've caused him n I told him that I feel pain n he said, no you don't!
So selfish. It's all the bottle. I guess the links in our marriage are all broken. That's how it feels. He's I capable of feeling for me in any way. It hurts but it doesn't surprise me. He said, I'll never forgive you. He also said he's notgoing back to the neurological unit after this last appointment. I guess if he needs medical treatment, he should do it on his own or be incapacitated by the time I get home or wake up.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Enjoy your time with Dad and Brother.
IMHO I would really step away from engaging in these insane conversations with him. Walk away when it starts. Stay away from him until he stops. He's talking smack~don't engage. You are only frustrating yourself sweetie!
I know you know all this and are just venting, but sometimes a gentle reminder can't hurt, right?!?!
Keep yourself sane and walk away from the quacking Rotz!!
Enjoy your day!!!
IMHO I would really step away from engaging in these insane conversations with him. Walk away when it starts. Stay away from him until he stops. He's talking smack~don't engage. You are only frustrating yourself sweetie!
I know you know all this and are just venting, but sometimes a gentle reminder can't hurt, right?!?!
Keep yourself sane and walk away from the quacking Rotz!!
Enjoy your day!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
You are right Kat! I need to do this more! He told me when he drinks, I'm the reason I end up so hurt. I don't know if that is true or not?!!! It hurts to see him pick it up because he has shown me it's not going to be one day but several lumped together. He says trust me n I just can't! If he could have a Drink once in awhile, my ass would not be here!!! Ya know?!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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Yesterday was day 3 n I'm suppose to trust him on his once in awhile/one day a week bullshėt? He stood me up for a effin bottle. So how did I hurt myself? I waited all day for him to remember n at 9pm I told himhe stood me up n he said, I have a brain injury! I forgot! He ddidn't forget to drink though.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Box,
I'm learning not to trust anything AH says, but believe everything he does. He's just so full of hot air. It's sad, but if you learn to expect less you won't be quite so disappointed.
So sorry you're dealing with all this nonsense.
I'm learning not to trust anything AH says, but believe everything he does. He's just so full of hot air. It's sad, but if you learn to expect less you won't be quite so disappointed.
So sorry you're dealing with all this nonsense.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz 
Yesterday was day 3 n I'm suppose to trust him on his once in awhile/one day a week bullshėt? He stood me up for a effin bottle. So how did I hurt myself? I waited all day for him to remember n at 9pm I told himhe stood me up n he said, I have a brain injury! I forgot! He ddidn't forget to drink though.
you can't think he will give rational conversation to you...it's like talking to a zucchini. don't have expectations, he will keep disappointing you...you know what is coming down the hill sooner or later.
I think you need to build a network of friends/family that can support and understand you, you need someone to lean on too.
I hope you have a good visit with Dad and brother today.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i read this yesterday on fb
SOBER....Son of A Biotch, Everything's Real....
ttyl, i'm heading over to my brother's too....hoping to escape my" little darling" daughters latest drama too.
i do hope that your car is not damaged from the broom beatdown.
SOBER....Son of A Biotch, Everything's Real....
ttyl, i'm heading over to my brother's too....hoping to escape my" little darling" daughters latest drama too.
i do hope that your car is not damaged from the broom beatdown.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Well Rotz, he might be on to something here:
Hear me out...
You are hurting yourself by staying in. The same house while he is drinking. Period.
You are hurting yourself by allowing yourself to believe (for even a second) that he will not stand you up when he is drinking.
You are hurting yourself by engaging in useless conversation with him when he drinks.
You are hurting yourself by believing that what he says when he is sober means anything in the grand scheme of things, because you already know that all that is out the window after the first drink.
You are hurting yourself by thinking that your support will change anything what-so-ever where his behavior and drinking are concerned.
Take care of yourself Rotz and disengage some darlin' ...for your own sanity.
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
He told me when he drinks, I'm the reason I end up so hurt.
You are hurting yourself by staying in. The same house while he is drinking. Period.
You are hurting yourself by allowing yourself to believe (for even a second) that he will not stand you up when he is drinking.
You are hurting yourself by engaging in useless conversation with him when he drinks.
You are hurting yourself by believing that what he says when he is sober means anything in the grand scheme of things, because you already know that all that is out the window after the first drink.
You are hurting yourself by thinking that your support will change anything what-so-ever where his behavior and drinking are concerned.
Take care of yourself Rotz and disengage some darlin' ...for your own sanity.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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And we are about to embark on Day 4.
Like really... go ahead n ask me if it's ok!!! I say no n I'm a effin bitch n I say do what you want n I have to figure out a way not to feel so incredibly hurt. I'm expected to keep my effin mouth shut.
Excuse my while I go pull the knife out of my heart...
Like really... go ahead n ask me if it's ok!!! I say no n I'm a effin bitch n I say do what you want n I have to figure out a way not to feel so incredibly hurt. I'm expected to keep my effin mouth shut.
Excuse my while I go pull the knife out of my heart...
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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No I can't. I'm doing electrical work on the pool today because my inspection permit is almost expired. I don't have the money laying around for a new permit. I've beenwaiting to get this done but I've beenworking n taking care of an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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He's got a massive headache. His words not mine. He said, don't call the cops. I won't call anyone. I hate this because he needs medical attention and my hands are tied. I will have to wait til his body gives out n I can imply consent. He will push his body to the absolute limit n it infuriates me. His brain is not doing well with the vodka. He told me today his legs wouldn't work. Another sign to get to ER. That would cut into his drinking though.
Really feel that I will be widowed in the near future. It scares the EFF out of me.
Really feel that I will be widowed in the near future. It scares the EFF out of me.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
911 ain't the cops...call them
He is putting this horrible burden on you to sit and do nothing while he complains of his self inflicted ****.
Call 911 ~ he's not giving you a choice and you shouldn't feel like the ******** for leaving him to die because he doesn't have the sense to put it down and take care of himself.
Let him die on his own watch. Call 911
He is putting this horrible burden on you to sit and do nothing while he complains of his self inflicted ****.
Call 911 ~ he's not giving you a choice and you shouldn't feel like the ******** for leaving him to die because he doesn't have the sense to put it down and take care of himself.
Let him die on his own watch. Call 911
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Rotz - I've been reading all along, sending you hugs and prayers, but as a former RN, I can only tell you what I would do.
Call 911. If he tries to refuse their help, explain that he's had a brain bleed, he's drinking alcohol, and his judgment is impaired. They may, or may not, take him him. Regardless, you will have done your best.
I GET that you don't see him surviving all of this. TBH, I tend to agree.
What I'm concerned about is if he doesn't make it? Are YOU going to be filled with "I wish I had done...." thoughts.
Neuro was my specialty in nursing. I can't give medical advice here, for good reason. What I can tell you, as another codie who loves an A (or several in my situation...family members) - call 911. Tell them the recent history and that he continues to drink. It's not betrayal, it's just facts.
Leave him to the professionals and take care of you, sweetie. You have no control over what he is going to do, but you do have control over your life.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Call 911. If he tries to refuse their help, explain that he's had a brain bleed, he's drinking alcohol, and his judgment is impaired. They may, or may not, take him him. Regardless, you will have done your best.
I GET that you don't see him surviving all of this. TBH, I tend to agree.
What I'm concerned about is if he doesn't make it? Are YOU going to be filled with "I wish I had done...." thoughts.
Neuro was my specialty in nursing. I can't give medical advice here, for good reason. What I can tell you, as another codie who loves an A (or several in my situation...family members) - call 911. Tell them the recent history and that he continues to drink. It's not betrayal, it's just facts.
Leave him to the professionals and take care of you, sweetie. You have no control over what he is going to do, but you do have control over your life.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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