My Destiny - Pressing Charges
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
My Destiny - Pressing Charges
Do you ever just know something is just meant to be, whether you like it or not?
As some of you know from reading my previous posts, I filed a report with the police last fall following a violent incident from Stbxah. I did it to protect myself from possible further problems from him, as he was not well and I feared what he would do next. The police asked if I wanted to file a criminal complaint and I told them that, no, I didn't want to go that route unless absolutely necessary.
Time went by and I received a letter from the prosecutor's office saying that they had taken it upon themselves, independent of me, to press charges against Stbxah for that incident.
That brought us to court last April. Long story short, I explained my story without any legal representation in front of the prosecutor, Stbxah and his lawyer. The judge argued to suspend the case for 6 months. During that time I could ask to press charges. Afterwards, the case would be closed. Without legal representation, in another world far from my previous home, I said,okay and was dismissed from the court room.
Six months later is...today. I kept that date in the back of my head. I felt safe with that date. It consoled me.
This morning I just happened to have an appointment with a social service agency to discuss my residency status in this country. my status is delicate since I was granted permission to continue to live here based, in part, on my marriage to Stbxah, his income, blah blah blah. The man that I met with at the agency advised me that if there is irrefutable proof that Stbxah was violent with me and that is what caused my separation, then they can not send me out of the country. #1 priority: my children's well being. intrinsic to that, my ability to keep our stable, functional, beneficial life here, because it works and keeps me happy.
Man from social service agency strongly advised me to send the prosecutor the go ahead to pursue the criminal case. My reaction, I knew all along that I would. Nothing really to do with the advice I'd just received. I can't say definitely why except that my Higher Power brought me to this place. HP was there with me in the wee hours when Stbxah was violent with me and caused the permanent severance to our marriage. HP has been there before and since but never so strongly as during that dark night and the days that followed. I followed God's will and I am again on the path that God has chosen for me.
Please understand. I have never felt God's presence in my life except as a very very soft uncertain whisper until that time last October, one year and 6 days ago. I don't think God is pointing me to the courthouse for me alone. I think stbxah is meant to be there and I cannot say why or what is going to happen.
Left to my own devices I would just like to get on peaceably with my own life. But stbxah has blocked me every step of the way. Even now stbxah has found a way to keep child support out of my hands so that I am receiving unpredictable fractions of the court-ordered support and 4 lawyers can't figure out what to do with this mess. Stbxah wants to be stopped. By me. he keeps finding ways to hurt me. No contact isn't possible at this point because of the children and the complicated legal/financial situation. He keeps at it and I don't understand his madness but I do understand that whatever protection I can get from an authority, the better off I and the children will be in the end.
They won't put him in jail. If found guilty - not a sure thing - he will have to pay me for damages suffered. I have not arrived at this place for a little money. I am here because it is destined to be this way and I will undoubtedly find out why down the road.
I think I am going to remain in this dark scary tunnel for a while yet. Things are somewhat less awful when I stop panicking though and accept that I just have to keep going because there is only one way out and that's through. In the meantime, I just have to keep strong and keep the faith. Thank you, as ever, for being there.
As some of you know from reading my previous posts, I filed a report with the police last fall following a violent incident from Stbxah. I did it to protect myself from possible further problems from him, as he was not well and I feared what he would do next. The police asked if I wanted to file a criminal complaint and I told them that, no, I didn't want to go that route unless absolutely necessary.
Time went by and I received a letter from the prosecutor's office saying that they had taken it upon themselves, independent of me, to press charges against Stbxah for that incident.
That brought us to court last April. Long story short, I explained my story without any legal representation in front of the prosecutor, Stbxah and his lawyer. The judge argued to suspend the case for 6 months. During that time I could ask to press charges. Afterwards, the case would be closed. Without legal representation, in another world far from my previous home, I said,okay and was dismissed from the court room.
Six months later is...today. I kept that date in the back of my head. I felt safe with that date. It consoled me.
This morning I just happened to have an appointment with a social service agency to discuss my residency status in this country. my status is delicate since I was granted permission to continue to live here based, in part, on my marriage to Stbxah, his income, blah blah blah. The man that I met with at the agency advised me that if there is irrefutable proof that Stbxah was violent with me and that is what caused my separation, then they can not send me out of the country. #1 priority: my children's well being. intrinsic to that, my ability to keep our stable, functional, beneficial life here, because it works and keeps me happy.
Man from social service agency strongly advised me to send the prosecutor the go ahead to pursue the criminal case. My reaction, I knew all along that I would. Nothing really to do with the advice I'd just received. I can't say definitely why except that my Higher Power brought me to this place. HP was there with me in the wee hours when Stbxah was violent with me and caused the permanent severance to our marriage. HP has been there before and since but never so strongly as during that dark night and the days that followed. I followed God's will and I am again on the path that God has chosen for me.
Please understand. I have never felt God's presence in my life except as a very very soft uncertain whisper until that time last October, one year and 6 days ago. I don't think God is pointing me to the courthouse for me alone. I think stbxah is meant to be there and I cannot say why or what is going to happen.
Left to my own devices I would just like to get on peaceably with my own life. But stbxah has blocked me every step of the way. Even now stbxah has found a way to keep child support out of my hands so that I am receiving unpredictable fractions of the court-ordered support and 4 lawyers can't figure out what to do with this mess. Stbxah wants to be stopped. By me. he keeps finding ways to hurt me. No contact isn't possible at this point because of the children and the complicated legal/financial situation. He keeps at it and I don't understand his madness but I do understand that whatever protection I can get from an authority, the better off I and the children will be in the end.
They won't put him in jail. If found guilty - not a sure thing - he will have to pay me for damages suffered. I have not arrived at this place for a little money. I am here because it is destined to be this way and I will undoubtedly find out why down the road.
I think I am going to remain in this dark scary tunnel for a while yet. Things are somewhat less awful when I stop panicking though and accept that I just have to keep going because there is only one way out and that's through. In the meantime, I just have to keep strong and keep the faith. Thank you, as ever, for being there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
Sometimes they won't let you, I understand that. I have overlooked and worn blinders and walked around with my hands over my ears and still the information creeps in.
Do what you have to do - and when you do that - know that you weren't asking for this. It was all him.
Do what you have to do - and when you do that - know that you weren't asking for this. It was all him.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Things are somewhat less awful when I stop panicking though and accept that I just have to keep going because there is only one way out and that's through.
You say you don't know what will transpire, just that this is the way it's supposed to be.
I don't know why either. But I know that sometimes you get those "AHA! It ALL makes sense now!" insights. And sometimes, you don't. And you just have to roll with it, whether you understand it or not.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
sometimes we are given the courage to speak up and say This happened to me and you are not allowed to treat me this way ~ just to let someone else know that it is ok for you to speak up too.
Your story may encourage someone else to speak up also.
please take good care of you!
pink hugs
Your story may encourage someone else to speak up also.
please take good care of you!
pink hugs
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