LaPinturaBella

Putmeontheair...Thank you for starting this post. I can't tell you how freeing it is to declare myself a quitter.

bookwyrm

Love this thread this morning! Gave me goosebumps!

I quit - therefore I am!!

barb dwyer

yep this could be an ongoing thread - was a real shot in the ...er.. arm for me today!

naive

i quit rearranging my day around someone else's needs/demands.
i quit giving my things, time and energy to someone who doesn't appreciate it or acknowledge it.
i quit trying to have effective communication with someone who isn't capable of such.
i quit relying on someone who is unreliable.
i quit having sex because he is randy.
i quit feeding him, cleaning up after him, making sure he gets to work.
i quit counting drinks and counting money spent on drinks.
i quit wondering where he is, who he is with and what he is doing.
i quit believing someone who is a proven liar.

1SweetGirl

This is probably the only time in my life I'd love to be called a quitter! (great thread btw)

I quit babysitting an adult male.
I quit counting how many drinks are consumed.
I quit walking on eggshells in fear I might have set him off.
I quit hiding a hammer under my side of the bed "just in case".
I quit cleaning up a scratched up face because he passed out against a building a slid down it.
I quit listening to his lies.
I quit being manipulated and used.
I quit being his "driver".
I quit being a target for his verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
I quit being embarrassed by his actions.
I quit being betrayed with multiple women.
I quit having to be subjected to his porn/sex addictions.
I quit him acting superior to me.
I quit having my dreams crushed and laughed at.
I quit giving control of my life over.
I quit letting him hurt me and taking me with him on his downward spiral.
I quit having my personal belongings ruined.
I quit letting him break my heart and shed tears.
I quit letting him kick my Jack Russell because she was snipping at his German Shepard, or pulling on my 50 lb Lab's leash so hard he flipped her over on her back.
I quit allowing him to "rent space" in my brain.

WOW~ This was so cathartic!!! Thank you for starting this thread. Just very frustrated tonight (found out he has a new enabler tonight) and had to get this out.

TakingCharge999

I quit feeling less than anyone else.
I quit comparing myself.
I quit feeling I am a failure and unavailable partners is all I'll ever get.
I quit feeling unloved and unprotected. I know HP has a plan for me, too.
I quit feeling unloved and unprotected while in bed with someone.
I quit feeling unworthy of a GENTLEMAN.
I quit feeling unworthy of true friends that know me and cherish me.
I quit feeling life does not have good things for me.
I quit feeling forgotten by God.

Wonderful thread. I am so happy to be around you, wonderful, strong women. This post made me cry. I need to keep all this in mind very often. It helps so much to know I am not alone. So thank you, thank you.

eaglette

I quit worrying about anything and everything.

I quit focusing on everyone but myself.

I quit living for yesterday and tomorrow.

I quit wasting time with 'what ifs' and regret.

I quit smoking weed.

I quit relying on substances to get myself through the trials of everyday life.

I quit resisting my Higher Power.

I quit trying to control everything.

I quit putting myself down.

I quit putting myself last.

I quit diminishing my accomplishments.

I quit saying 'I can't'.

I quit being suppressed by fear.

eaglette

<Great thread, putme!>

kmkluvr1

Me too, I quit..

blwninthewind

My RAH texted me not even an hour ago saying he didn't know what was going on with me lately and that I seemed unhappy and it's affecting him now so I need to do something about it....

I guess he missed the memo.
Alnon is teaching me...to be responsible for ME. How I feel. My actions.

so I'm proud to say I'm a quitter today!!!!

He's just ticked off that he's not the center of my universe and that his drama's WILL not affect how I live my life. I won't get pulled in. I have no answers for him. Even in recovery he is undependable and difficult unless he is the center of attention ALL the time. It's hard to even raise my kids because he is literally stealing the attention and time from them.

Does this mean I want to continue my marriage? I don't think so but I'm not 'there' yet.
For now I'm going to my meetings. I'm going to school, work and caring for my kids.
I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to do and still making time for MY needs.

So....
I Quit worrying about :how HE feels about my feelings
I Quit worrying about : how he feels about my ACTIONS
I Quit worrying about his drama's
I quit worrying about his anger, dissappointment or resentments.

I won't quit on MYSELF.

Tuffgirl

Today :
I will quit feeling sad because the RAH is giving me more of the same passive-aggressive silent treatment.

I will quit expecting something to be different and being disappointed when it isn't.

I will quit worrying about the choices I made and instead celebrate in them.

I will quit the "woe is me" routine...that gets me no where and ruins my day.

I will quit procrastinating and really work my program and go to meetings regularly.

I will quit worrying about what he is thinking, feeling, or doing and focus on what I think, feel, and want to do.

I will quit relying on him for anything and teach myself how to do the things that need to be done.

I will quit "feeling married" and instead enjoy being separated and away from the anger.

Today, I will enjoy the sunshine, my job, my kids. I will laugh and be successful. I will enjoy my own company tonight without feeling lonely.

P.S. Just bought a cordless power drill last night! Watch out house! : )

MeredithD1

I'm sharing some of the "I quit" 's from barb dwyer:

I quit acting on what others tell me is best for me.
I quit listening to false compliments.
I quit blaming anyone other than me for anything. then or now.
I quit dressing in a way that I think will make others like me.
I quit trying to figure out what other want to hear.
I quit telling others to make changes I haven't made myself.
I quit being too busy to lend a hand up to anyone in recovery.

I'm sharing some of the "I quit" 's from naive: (you don't sound naive to me )

i quit rearranging my day around someone else's needs/demands.
i quit having sex because he is randy (it's been over 8 years)
i quit feeding him, cleaning up after him, making sure he gets to work.
i quit counting drinks and counting money spent on drinks.

And some of my own too:

I quit looking for wine bottles in the car and the apartment
I quit getting angry with my AH for drinking
I quit giving in to his statis "sleeping on the couch" energy, got up and got my life moving again (and it's been awesome!!)
I quit judging him for drinking
I quit not having a Plan B, which helped me with the next one:
I quit being scared of what might happen
I quit living for tomorrow
I quit quitting on myself

TakingCharge999

Khnum

Thank you all for such thoughtful insight on "quitting"

zrx1200R

what a great post. Made my day. Thanks.

ONEinaMILLION

WOW! Check...check...check...I identify so much with these posts! I'm HAPPY to say I'm a quitter too...

I quit hearing false promises

I quit dreaming that one day things will change

I quit hanging on for the good times

I quit having him pointing fingers at me

I quit having never-ending discussions

I quit being told that things are not as I recall them

I quit not being able to concentrate at work

I quit having my stomach tied up in knots most of the time

I quit going to bed in anguish

I quit hearing lies

I quit getting home to someone who wouldn’t talk to me

I quit walking on eggshells so I wouldn’t upset him

I quit making excuses for him

I quit yearning for a healthy relationship

I quit hoping things would be different

I quit pretending that things were alright

Florence

Oh man, this is exactly what I needed today. Everything from putmeontheair is exactly what I've been mumbling to myself for the last 48 hours.

I quit because I want an equal relationship.
I am a quitter because I am tired of shouldering the financial responsibility.
I quit because I want a relationship where communication is open.
I quit because I want to trust my "R"AH and can't.
I am a quitter because I want to enjoy what I have earned.
I am a quitter because I want a partnership.
I quit because this is not the life I imagined for myself.
I am a quitter because I know I deserve better.
I quit because I don't want your sobriety on my shoulders.
I quit because I don't want a dysfunctional life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

StarCat

I quit because I want to have a relationship with the wonderful person I call "me," and that's impossible when he's around.

I quit blaming everything on myself.

I quit covering for him, and giving him second, third, fourth, and hundred and twenty second chances.

stepsforward

I quit putting my husband recovery before mine

FreeingMyself

I love this thread, and I have been called a quitter so many times by my stbxah....so yes...I quit for many of the reasons above...
I quit because I don't deserve to be called names and pushed around.
I quit because I want more for my children.
I quit because I can't live 1 more minute of my life with my AH.
I quit because I want more!