you know you are no longer involved with an alcoholic when......
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
Great post! Thank you, here are a few from me
no sinking gut wrenching stomach pains when I put my key in the door - I know what's behind the door - my home is EXACTLY the way I left it
my money in my bank account
no more feelings of embarrassment when I introduce my AH as "and this is my husband"
my home is clean, doesn't stink of overflowing ashtrays and I don't trip over his dirty clothes
I can breathe - deep soul cleansing breaths
I laugh and smile more
I sing out loud for no reason other than I am happy to be here
no sinking gut wrenching stomach pains when I put my key in the door - I know what's behind the door - my home is EXACTLY the way I left it
my money in my bank account
no more feelings of embarrassment when I introduce my AH as "and this is my husband"
my home is clean, doesn't stink of overflowing ashtrays and I don't trip over his dirty clothes
I can breathe - deep soul cleansing breaths
I laugh and smile more
I sing out loud for no reason other than I am happy to be here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Middle of the U.S.
Posts: 85
... you no longer have to adjust your sleeping position to escape the drunk stink (or sleep in another room if it's too unbearable)
... you no longer anticipate the pain that inevitably followed the pleasure (sadly, still working on that -- old habits die hard)
... you no longer anticipate the pain that inevitably followed the pleasure (sadly, still working on that -- old habits die hard)
Freed from the anguish
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 124
- when you can have good ideas, realize they're good ideas, and make them a part of your life.
- when you do something nice for yourself and aren't accused of being selfish or trying to hurt the A.
- when you can spend time with a friend for an afternoon chatting over coffee and not be accused of neglecting the A.
- when you can work on a jigsaw puzzle after work with quiet music playing and not be accused of loving the puzzle more than the A.
- when you start to love yourself again for WHO YOU REALLY ARE and realize that other people love you too - without you having to EARN their love.
- when you learn that it's OK to NOT trust some people.
- when you realize you really can trust yourself, your feelings, your thoughts, and your memories.
- when you share your feelings or thoughts with another person and they don't invalidate everything you just shared.
- when you do something nice for yourself and aren't accused of being selfish or trying to hurt the A.
- when you can spend time with a friend for an afternoon chatting over coffee and not be accused of neglecting the A.
- when you can work on a jigsaw puzzle after work with quiet music playing and not be accused of loving the puzzle more than the A.
- when you start to love yourself again for WHO YOU REALLY ARE and realize that other people love you too - without you having to EARN their love.
- when you learn that it's OK to NOT trust some people.
- when you realize you really can trust yourself, your feelings, your thoughts, and your memories.
- when you share your feelings or thoughts with another person and they don't invalidate everything you just shared.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
When the kids come home and they and their friends are happy to be there....
When I don't have to make things "just right" just so we have his check to pay bills on payday...
To sit in the comfort of our "home" and not worry that he's out there driving with the property deed on the hood of his truck every night......now its "HER" deed out there...
When I don't have to make things "just right" just so we have his check to pay bills on payday...
To sit in the comfort of our "home" and not worry that he's out there driving with the property deed on the hood of his truck every night......now its "HER" deed out there...
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
a VERY LONG SHOT.. but when you are not envious of the people they are with.. you pity them... or much better off... those thoughts are no longer in your mind
when you can go out and know you dont have to discuss for hours to drive the drunkard's car to get home safely
when you know you got FREE from your own addiction to a troubled person and have much more in store than the cowards that take the same easy path that is the ONLY one they know!!
when you no longer feel you are the one who lost.
hope to reach that state soon!!
when you can go out and know you dont have to discuss for hours to drive the drunkard's car to get home safely
when you know you got FREE from your own addiction to a troubled person and have much more in store than the cowards that take the same easy path that is the ONLY one they know!!
when you no longer feel you are the one who lost.
hope to reach that state soon!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
you no longer have 3 hour stupid arguements over who is a better singer Keith Urban or Gary Allan (seriously he argued with me for over 3 hours!)
you can leave home and not worry that hes going to leave the door open and let the dogs get out
you can leave home and not worry that hes going to leave the door open and let the dogs get out
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern KY
Posts: 168
During a 4 month split (no contact)...
I knew I was in a good place because...........
No one griped at my dogs.
I didn't have to move his drunk butt off my side of the bed.
I didn't have to sleep in the chair because I couldn't move his drunk butt off my side of the bed.
I didn't have to pick his stuff up, only had 2 kids to take care of.
The biggie, I didn't have to worry about him totalling another vehicle because of alcohol. (had a 3:00am wake up call one morning and had to pick up the beer cans from the totaled, paid for truck so the cops wouldn't arrest him and my insurance wouldn't spike)
I knew I was in a good place because...........
No one griped at my dogs.
I didn't have to move his drunk butt off my side of the bed.
I didn't have to sleep in the chair because I couldn't move his drunk butt off my side of the bed.
I didn't have to pick his stuff up, only had 2 kids to take care of.
The biggie, I didn't have to worry about him totalling another vehicle because of alcohol. (had a 3:00am wake up call one morning and had to pick up the beer cans from the totaled, paid for truck so the cops wouldn't arrest him and my insurance wouldn't spike)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
You no longer are overwhelmed by the smell of the person you live with drenched in perfume/cologne. (they lose ability to smell and want to hide the alcohol odor)
No longer awoken at 3-4-5,etc AM cause the drunk cant find his/her own house keys in the pocketbook or the drunk lost the keys(again)
You no longer must listen to stories about the cell phone breaking (dropped while drunk)
No longer hear the daily and perpetual "I have a cold, that's why I am so tired and run down"
No longer hear the nasty mean insulting words
No longer anticipate hearing them
Can actually save and budget finances rather than "financing the liquor store/bar"
No longer smell the awful cigarette permeated clothes, hair, breath, car
No longer listen to vomiting and lame excuses about same
Can sleep in a dry bed, sit on a dry sofa.
No longer awoken at 3-4-5,etc AM cause the drunk cant find his/her own house keys in the pocketbook or the drunk lost the keys(again)
You no longer must listen to stories about the cell phone breaking (dropped while drunk)
No longer hear the daily and perpetual "I have a cold, that's why I am so tired and run down"
No longer hear the nasty mean insulting words
No longer anticipate hearing them
Can actually save and budget finances rather than "financing the liquor store/bar"
No longer smell the awful cigarette permeated clothes, hair, breath, car
No longer listen to vomiting and lame excuses about same
Can sleep in a dry bed, sit on a dry sofa.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
--No more fighting to make eye contact with the AH. They never want you looking into their eyes to see if they have been drinking,
--No more wondering what the abrubt 'strange errands' are. You knew they were going to the store and drinking before they got home.
--No more waking up on Saturday thinking about the binge weekend ahead.
--No more being the blame for his problems.
--No more wondering what the abrubt 'strange errands' are. You knew they were going to the store and drinking before they got home.
--No more waking up on Saturday thinking about the binge weekend ahead.
--No more being the blame for his problems.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
When the police department, the fire department and/or several ambulance crews cease to be regular "guests" at your holiday gatherings.......
When you calmly stop anyone in mid-sentece who tries to "help you out" by telling you what or how the A is doing.....
freya
When you calmly stop anyone in mid-sentece who tries to "help you out" by telling you what or how the A is doing.....
freya
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
when you don't think twice about everything you say
when you feel free to offer an opinion
when you look at your body in the mirror and are the only one going.....oh my lands, how things have changed. but, hey, it's ok.
when you begin to feel good about yourself and he's not there to blast it away
when you feel free to offer an opinion
when you look at your body in the mirror and are the only one going.....oh my lands, how things have changed. but, hey, it's ok.
when you begin to feel good about yourself and he's not there to blast it away
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
Posts: 111
When you look forward to getting home after work, rather than getting a knot of stress in your stomach worrying about how aggressively drunk she'll be when you open the door.
When you can go to bed by yourself secure in the knowledge that you won't have someone stumbling into the bedroom in the middle of the night, turning on all the lights and/or falling over on top of your sleeping body.
When you remember that your feelings, opinions and values count.
When you can go to bed by yourself secure in the knowledge that you won't have someone stumbling into the bedroom in the middle of the night, turning on all the lights and/or falling over on top of your sleeping body.
When you remember that your feelings, opinions and values count.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
