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you know you are no longer involved with an alcoholic when......

Old 04-12-2014, 09:40 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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When you make memories with someone, anyone, and *both of you* remember them
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Old 04-12-2014, 09:54 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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I got to about post 40 and I started crying. Feeling so sad for my husband and son. I was
the alcoholic in the house. I put them through hell and each one of your posts was the
truth and all described me perfectly at one time.

For all of you who have been put through the torture of living with an alcoholic, I commend
you for the strength it took to change that situation.

and if any of you are still with that alcoholic, gain strength and wisdom from these wonderful
people.

I am clean and sober now since 12/27/12 husband stayed with me. We are both in recovery.

My son grew up to be a responsible adult, went to college got a double major and already
working as an accountant.

He says he loves me but there is always tension when we are alone.

But he shows me a lot more respect then I deserve. He is a moderate drinker,.

Thank God

God Bless!
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Old 04-13-2014, 12:39 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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...when you can actually smile again.
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:27 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
Loving a more peaceful life
 
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When you find yourself wondering when your life got so boring then realise it isn't boring at all, just peaceful.

When your fences get damaged during a stormy winter and you can get together with the neighbours and pitch in your share of the repair bill without even flinching, let alone feeling sick at the thought of getting in to even more debt.

Similarly, when one of your pets needs the emergency vet and you can easily find the money to pay the bill while waiting for the pet insurance to pay out.

When you can turn down overtime at work because you no longer need to do 60-70 hours on the hamster wheel each week trying to keep up with household debt. All while your layabout A and his friends, who are 'in between jobs', tell you you need to have a drink so you can learn to 'lighten up and have fun'.

Realising you've had your new bed and mattress for a year and they still have no dents or p*ss/vomit stains; in fact they look as new as they are! Also,the satisfaction of actually owning the bed because you were able to save money to buy it.

When you can go to bed to sleep off a migraine without curling up and sobbing because your A and his dead head friends are shouting and crashing about downstairs despite knowing you're ill.

When you look for essential household paperwork and find it in the last place you remember putting it without having to turn the house upside down while the A sneers at you because you're the "useless b*tch who always loses things".

You find yourself able to spoil your loved ones at birthdays and holidays.

You no longer dread bank holiday weekends and Christmas and take your share of these off work because you now want to join in instead of hiding away.

You no longer feel embarrassed when the recycling truck comes round and even know what the blokes collecting the stuff look like because you're no longer ashamed to make eye contact with them.

I could go on!
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Old 04-13-2014, 06:51 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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*When you are talking to new people who are dealing with A's and you remember of yea I went through that awhile ago.

*When the A's leaves the house after begging for another chance with the smell of alcohol on his breathe and he's denying drinking and your say thank gawd he's gone.

*When the only **** on the floor is from the new puppy
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Old 04-13-2014, 07:52 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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.......when your aim is to please yourself, and not your aim to please

.......when troubles occur, you feel calm inside, because you have tools

.......when problem solving is not crisis oriented
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Old 04-14-2014, 12:33 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Oh, I saw the title of this thread and got excited! I am needing to leave my husband very badly and this thread will give me lots to look forward to!!!!

Can't wait to read it.... off to do just that right now!

Thanks for this!

Peace.
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:02 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by embraced2000 View Post
you expect special events to go smoothly, and they do....cept for the dip that didn't turn out right. but no big deal, right?
Hmmm....

Dip that didn't turn out perfectly, or a Dipsh!*????

Why, this dip is DELICIOUS!!!

lol

Peace.
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:04 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by coyote21 View Post
And you're not married to the dip that didn't turn out right!


Thanks and God bless us all, :praying
Coyote
Ah ha ha ha!!!!

I posted my dip comment before I got down to your comment!

Great minds eh?

lol

Peace.
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:10 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JerseyGirl View Post
When the dog doesn't hide when he walks in the door.
Awwww.

I know. When he's yelling, screaming, throwing things, etc, the dog and the two cats run for cover. Poor babies.

God, I can't wait to be out of this Hell.... with my sweet little doggie girl...

The cats are his....

I think about calling animal control for them when I leave but I am so afraid they would be put down....


Peace.
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:39 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ladyscribbler View Post
You don't find a bottle of berries fermenting in rubbing alcohol and get yelled at when you're about to throw it away.
Apparently he was trying to make homemade wine.
Oh, Jeez!!!!! Seriously? Ugh. So sorry you went through that ridiculousness!!!!!

Peace.
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Old 04-14-2014, 05:51 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
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...when your bookshelf no longer looks like the self-help section in your local bookstore.

...when you don't lie awake at night monitoring your partner's breathing to make sure he is still breathing.

...when you don't have to go to the couch in order not to breathe in the stale beer fumes.
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Old 04-14-2014, 06:11 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Linkmeister View Post
...when your bookshelf no longer looks like the self-help section in your local bookstore.

...when you don't lie awake at night monitoring your partner's breathing to make sure he is still breathing.

...when you don't have to go to the couch in order not to breathe in the stale beer fumes.
'when your bookshelf no longer looks like the self-help section in your local bookstore."

How true this is!!!
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Old 04-14-2014, 06:48 PM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Thank you for this post
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Old 04-15-2014, 12:42 PM
  # 95 (permalink)  
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When you find yourself having dinner at "dinner time" you know 6 or 7 not
10, 11, midnight or, how sad is this 1am. He was making me a "romantic" dinner one night and I kid you not we had it at 1am. That's when he was ready to eat and I went along like a good little codie cause that was my normal! UGH
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Old 04-15-2014, 12:53 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
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When you no longer have anxiety about going home

When you no longer check the bank account a million times for alcohol related purchases

When you no longer care what time you get home out of fear what he is doing when your not there

When you stop dreading all holidays and weekends. (Yes, I am actually looking forward to Easter this year)!!!

When you no longer fear looking under the bed for empty beer cans

When you no longer hide your prescriptions because he may slip some out of the bottle when you are not looking

This list could go on and on...truly....
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Old 04-15-2014, 01:37 PM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sungrl View Post
When you find yourself having dinner at "dinner time" you know 6 or 7 not
10, 11, midnight or, how sad is this 1am. He was making me a "romantic" dinner one night and I kid you not we had it at 1am. That's when he was ready to eat and I went along like a good little codie cause that was my normal! UGH

Gosh how many times we ate 10pm or later because he would tell me he was just getting off work and I believed him.
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Old 04-15-2014, 09:04 PM
  # 98 (permalink)  
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When you stop coming to soberrecovery.com for answers......
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Old 04-16-2014, 04:47 AM
  # 99 (permalink)  
And Presents For Pretty Girls
 
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When you can watch a movie without subtitles because the A has drank a whole bottle of wine and needs to talk through the whole thing.

When you stop looking at someone's eyes to see when the glassiness of too much to drink takes over.

When you go to make love and not only are they aware you are with them and stay awake but also remember it the next day.

When you don't have to wonder how drunk they got while out and what stupid things they might have said or did.

When your focus is on healing and making yourself happy doing things you enjoy.

When you are with someone that isn't afraid to have you come over because they want to drink a liter of wine and pass out.

When the best moment of the day is waking up and realizing this is going to be the best day of your life because it's all yours.
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Old 04-16-2014, 07:28 AM
  # 100 (permalink)  
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When you make memories with someone, anyone, and *both of you* remember them
Oh Blake, THANK YOU for this. It just made my heart happy.

... when your children no longer have the need to create drama in order to feel normalcy.
... when your children can start mentioning their A parent without shrinking and showing defensive body language.
... when your children say "You are my hero for getting us out."
... when you think of the A and realize you haven't thought about the A for several days.
... when you wake up Monday morning to the house you cleaned on Sunday still being clean.
... when you find a six-pack of beer under the sink with four bottles in it at Easter time and realize you did buy a six-pack of beer for Superbowl Sunday and you and your friend each had one, and then you totally forgot about it.
... when your heart has healed enough that you can entrust it to another person again.
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