you know you are no longer involved with an alcoholic when......
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by freya 
When the police department, the fire department and/or several ambulance crews cease to be regular "guests" at your holiday gatherings.......
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Thanks and God bless us all, :praying
Coyote
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
when you know exactly how much is in your bank account and it's not going to change unless you change it.
when everything has a bright side to it....even the bad news.
when i don't find a crisis in the bad news.
when i wake up feeling calm and excited about the new day.
when everything has a bright side to it....even the bad news.
when i don't find a crisis in the bad news.
when i wake up feeling calm and excited about the new day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
When you walk into abf's flat and don't see it look like it belonged in a war movie.
When you can walk round my flat and don't see it decorated by empty stubbie bottles on
benches, lounge floor, dining table, even toilet.
When your home doesn't smell like a brewery.
When you visit him after being away a few days and don't feel like asking yourself Papa Bear's question.
When you can walk round my flat and don't see it decorated by empty stubbie bottles on
benches, lounge floor, dining table, even toilet.
When your home doesn't smell like a brewery.
When you visit him after being away a few days and don't feel like asking yourself Papa Bear's question.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 63
Time will tell how much of a wake up call breaking his back was after falling asleep at the wheel drunk in August and having 5 vertebrae fused in surgery in Sept.
But for now....AH is doing well....and likes the physical therapy that they have him doing in the pool.
5 more weeks of therapy 3 x a week.
So I add this one and hope and pray it sticks.....
(cause it was EVERY F*ing Day before breaking his back.)
"Not wondering, every time he leaves the house, how drunk he'll be when he gets home That day."....
But for now....AH is doing well....and likes the physical therapy that they have him doing in the pool.
5 more weeks of therapy 3 x a week.
So I add this one and hope and pray it sticks.....
(cause it was EVERY F*ing Day before breaking his back.)
"Not wondering, every time he leaves the house, how drunk he'll be when he gets home That day."....
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
...when you go to bed because you are actually tired and not because you are avoiding the A.
...when mail that comes through the door doesn't fill you with anxiety and dread
...when the bailiffs stop calling around
...when you come home from work and the house is in the same order as when you left
...when you stop finding bags of empty cans on top of the wardrobe, under the bed, under the stairs, down the side of the dresser...
...when the dirty washing doesn't smell like vinegar
...when you no longer awaken in the night to the sound of running water in the bedroom
...when you stop pretending to be asleep to get some alone time
...when you can finally stop sleeping on the sofa and reclaim your bed room
...when you no longer spend hours a day crying alone
...when your child looks at you and you smile back at them and a sense of true happiness fills your heart
...when you don't have to hide money anymore
...when you can have money in your pocket without fear that he will attack you for it
...when the drunken lay about 'friends' no longer take over your house
...when you don't have to kick out the drunken 'friends' when your A has passed out and they won't leave
I best stop, I could go on for a while!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...when mail that comes through the door doesn't fill you with anxiety and dread
...when the bailiffs stop calling around
...when you come home from work and the house is in the same order as when you left
...when you stop finding bags of empty cans on top of the wardrobe, under the bed, under the stairs, down the side of the dresser...
...when the dirty washing doesn't smell like vinegar
...when you no longer awaken in the night to the sound of running water in the bedroom
...when you stop pretending to be asleep to get some alone time
...when you can finally stop sleeping on the sofa and reclaim your bed room
...when you no longer spend hours a day crying alone
...when your child looks at you and you smile back at them and a sense of true happiness fills your heart
...when you don't have to hide money anymore
...when you can have money in your pocket without fear that he will attack you for it
...when the drunken lay about 'friends' no longer take over your house
...when you don't have to kick out the drunken 'friends' when your A has passed out and they won't leave
I best stop, I could go on for a while!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Lexington, Ky USA
Posts: 44
I have one
You wake up refreshed, happy and looking forward to a new day instead of that "dead and fluttering feeling in the stomach wondering what will go wrong today" feeling
WONDERFUL thread. Thank you!
WONDERFUL thread. Thank you!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
You sleep peacefully through the night with out meds or ear plugs because the loud snoring and alcohol-induced-sleep-apnea-snorting have left the building.
The only time the "big" TV is turned on is to play your yoga/pilates dvd.
The weekly trash pickup sounds like every other houses pickup, instead of being the loudest on the street with all the empty beer bottles crashing into the dumpster.
The only time the "big" TV is turned on is to play your yoga/pilates dvd.
The weekly trash pickup sounds like every other houses pickup, instead of being the loudest on the street with all the empty beer bottles crashing into the dumpster.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 119
*when you no longer worry about the A hurting your cat (my fur baby) by playing rough with him while intoxicated and then threatening to have his friend who likes to shoot animals come over and kill your fur baby because you try to protect your fur baby from the A.
*when you are no longer woken up at 3AM in the morning when the A is going out the door to the patio to drink more vodka because the A cannot sleep and he sets the alarm off
*when you are no longer woken up by the A talking in his sleep to the women he was hitting on at the bar that night....."hey baby, what's your name, who are you, you're so HOT"
*not having to listen to the A cry like a baby because he lost a golf tournament....literally curled up in fetal position on the couch.....crying his 40 year old eyes out and saying "I'm the best golfer out there, I cannot believe I didn't win.....it's not fair"
*not having to listen to the A cry his drunken eyes out because he is afraid that the guy that he helped get hired for a new job might not do a good job.
Wow......I still cannot believe I stayed as long as I did, but Thank my HP that I no longer choose to be around a drunken, animal hurting, cheating, cry baby drama king
*when you are no longer woken up at 3AM in the morning when the A is going out the door to the patio to drink more vodka because the A cannot sleep and he sets the alarm off
*when you are no longer woken up by the A talking in his sleep to the women he was hitting on at the bar that night....."hey baby, what's your name, who are you, you're so HOT"
*not having to listen to the A cry like a baby because he lost a golf tournament....literally curled up in fetal position on the couch.....crying his 40 year old eyes out and saying "I'm the best golfer out there, I cannot believe I didn't win.....it's not fair"
*not having to listen to the A cry his drunken eyes out because he is afraid that the guy that he helped get hired for a new job might not do a good job.
Wow......I still cannot believe I stayed as long as I did, but Thank my HP that I no longer choose to be around a drunken, animal hurting, cheating, cry baby drama king
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
I know, I do love this thread.
When you no longer have to sleep only on your left side to keep your nose away from the strong vinegar smell emanating from his pores??? What is that, anyway???
When you can hug your snuggly labrador all night because nobody else is taking up her space. I guess maybe I'll stay single since I still feel this way!
When you don't have to change the pillow cases every morning from the stinky alcohol breath/drool factor.
When your coworkers ask you to get a drink after work and you can do it--you aren't afraid of what will happen if you don't rush home, or worse, if the abf joins you at the bar!
When all your friends say things like: "Well, I didn't want to say anything, but now that you've broken up...man are we relieved!"
Love,
KJ
When you no longer have to sleep only on your left side to keep your nose away from the strong vinegar smell emanating from his pores??? What is that, anyway???
When you can hug your snuggly labrador all night because nobody else is taking up her space. I guess maybe I'll stay single since I still feel this way!
When you don't have to change the pillow cases every morning from the stinky alcohol breath/drool factor.
When your coworkers ask you to get a drink after work and you can do it--you aren't afraid of what will happen if you don't rush home, or worse, if the abf joins you at the bar!
When all your friends say things like: "Well, I didn't want to say anything, but now that you've broken up...man are we relieved!"
Love,
KJ
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
My ex had it too. He would urinate anywhere when he was drunk and it was always so pale and had this vinegar smell so did his clothes, I think it must be because the body just can't process all the alcohol and so it just literally runs through them, that or it is something in the body breaking down (extra salts being released perhaps?)
It made me ill anyway
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It made me ill anyway
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Managua, Nicaragua
Posts: 135
I know that I am not living with my A when:
things seem to go fairly smoothly and the other shoe doesn't seem to be dropping near me, I still pause to think about, but it doesn't happen
I sleep through the night ( when my toddler lets me) without nightmares, or panic attacks about the sound that may have been the door opening
I am honest with my friends and family about what goes on in my life...no hiding anymore, no shame about what I do
and, as someone else already mentioned, the 20 I get out of the ATM is still there in the morning
things seem to go fairly smoothly and the other shoe doesn't seem to be dropping near me, I still pause to think about, but it doesn't happen
I sleep through the night ( when my toddler lets me) without nightmares, or panic attacks about the sound that may have been the door opening
I am honest with my friends and family about what goes on in my life...no hiding anymore, no shame about what I do
and, as someone else already mentioned, the 20 I get out of the ATM is still there in the morning
"Taking the risk to blossom"
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: a little piece of heaven! Ontario Canada
Posts: 245
I needed this thread tonight!
I don't have to sleep with my purse any more
I don't carry EVERYTHING I own with me
I don't have to worry whether he will or will not come home tonight
I have MY money
I don't have anxiety every time he's somewhere I'm not
I don't have to listen to the lies, excuses, QUACKING
I can do what I want with who I want when I want
I don't have to worry about what I will find in the the laundry (he likes cocaine with his alcohol)
There's more but I have to go to MY BED, to cuddle with MY DOG and read MY BOOK!
I don't have to sleep with my purse any more
I don't carry EVERYTHING I own with me
I don't have to worry whether he will or will not come home tonight
I have MY money
I don't have anxiety every time he's somewhere I'm not
I don't have to listen to the lies, excuses, QUACKING
I can do what I want with who I want when I want
I don't have to worry about what I will find in the the laundry (he likes cocaine with his alcohol)
There's more but I have to go to MY BED, to cuddle with MY DOG and read MY BOOK!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 341
- When the dirty laundry hamper doesn't smell like a bar room towel.
- When there are no nasty odors coming from the bathroom because someone missed the toilet.
- You can get a good nights sleep because you don't have a drunken person next to you snoring their head off.
- When there are no nasty odors coming from the bathroom because someone missed the toilet.
- You can get a good nights sleep because you don't have a drunken person next to you snoring their head off.
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