you know you are no longer involved with an alcoholic when......
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
when the sun shines for you once again.
when you wake up and you look forward to living your life.
when ppl tell you you smile more and look more relaxed
when you can read a book in your king size bed and roll with your teddy bear, HAPPY
when no one is stumbling to you drunk at 5AM and getting angry because you do not
approve, and you are such a boring person, quack quack quack
when your self esteem is back and you no longer feel fat, ugly, or inadequate, because that is what the ex told
you, and you believed it.
when you and others, realize that yes, you are beautiful.
when you choose better friends and have interesting conversations. again.
when you have a better relation with your family because they supported you all the way out.
when you stop caring about him as if he was your child and not an adult.
when you do not have to talk with his friends about stuff you couldnt care less about.
when you stop dreading and start living.
when you look at every little nice thing of life and see how precious it is, and wonder where you WERE.
when jealousy starts being replaced with gratitude for not being an alcoholic yourself and having a shot to sanity.
when you listen to your OWN MUSIC.
when you realize you also have NEEDS and that you are IMPORTANT!
when you remember all the great times you spent, before alcoholism touched your life.
when you start focusing in the present or future, no longer in the past and the hurt
when you know the meaning of forgiveness
when you help others and become a better friend and human being
when you trust HP and know you are taken care of
when you no longer feel lonely.
when finally, you stop crying.
when you wake up and you look forward to living your life.
when ppl tell you you smile more and look more relaxed
when you can read a book in your king size bed and roll with your teddy bear, HAPPY
when no one is stumbling to you drunk at 5AM and getting angry because you do not
approve, and you are such a boring person, quack quack quack
when your self esteem is back and you no longer feel fat, ugly, or inadequate, because that is what the ex told
you, and you believed it.
when you and others, realize that yes, you are beautiful.
when you choose better friends and have interesting conversations. again.
when you have a better relation with your family because they supported you all the way out.
when you stop caring about him as if he was your child and not an adult.
when you do not have to talk with his friends about stuff you couldnt care less about.
when you stop dreading and start living.
when you look at every little nice thing of life and see how precious it is, and wonder where you WERE.
when jealousy starts being replaced with gratitude for not being an alcoholic yourself and having a shot to sanity.
when you listen to your OWN MUSIC.
when you realize you also have NEEDS and that you are IMPORTANT!
when you remember all the great times you spent, before alcoholism touched your life.
when you start focusing in the present or future, no longer in the past and the hurt
when you know the meaning of forgiveness
when you help others and become a better friend and human being
when you trust HP and know you are taken care of
when you no longer feel lonely.
when finally, you stop crying.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Hertfordshire, UK
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by Blondie 
- You can get a good nights sleep because you don't have a drunken person next to you snoring their head off.
On more than one occasion I genuinely ended up checking her pulse to make sure she was still alive.Oh, man, it's been quite a while since I remembered that feeling of waking up in the middle of the night, terrified that she was dead in bed next to me. Not to mention those nights when I'd wake up in the middle of the night and realise she hadn't come to bed, or hadn't even come home...
These days if I wake up in the middle of the night, I just wrap myself up in my duvet again and go straight back to sleep. It works much better for me.
Mr B.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Does anyone know what that smell is? I used to say it was an acidic metalic smell.
My xah used to get thru 5 litres (over a gallon) of wine each evening. The smell from him was sickening and very embarrassing in public. It came in waves, wafted around and people made faces and remarks about "that awful pong", whilst I did the same thing hoping no-one realised it came from him.
My xah used to get thru 5 litres (over a gallon) of wine each evening. The smell from him was sickening and very embarrassing in public. It came in waves, wafted around and people made faces and remarks about "that awful pong", whilst I did the same thing hoping no-one realised it came from him.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Merseyside,UK
Posts: 109
The things i dont miss about living with an alcoholic............
Waking up in bed covered in HIS urine.
Realising my new flat will never be a stinking mess(like our house always was)
Being able to relax in front of the tv without disturbance.
Looking after myself and no-one else.
Not turning up at work(my local hospital) and being asked by the paramedic, who always turned up at our house when my ex had self harmed, if i was ok and how things were. It got REALLY embarrassing.
Actually using my money to pay bills and having some left to use as i wish, not on alcohol.
I really could go on and on................................
Waking up in bed covered in HIS urine.
Realising my new flat will never be a stinking mess(like our house always was)
Being able to relax in front of the tv without disturbance.
Looking after myself and no-one else.
Not turning up at work(my local hospital) and being asked by the paramedic, who always turned up at our house when my ex had self harmed, if i was ok and how things were. It got REALLY embarrassing.
Actually using my money to pay bills and having some left to use as i wish, not on alcohol.
I really could go on and on................................
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Not having to go on midnight beer runs to ensure he wouldn't drive himself. Or walk himself. And no more "beer math." (that is when I was trying to add up the ounces he had drunk and figure times to see if he was intoxicated and shouldn't drive. Talk about denial!
KJ
KJ
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: The Pit of Despair
Posts: 148
Can I bump this, to get it restarted? It really is uplifting to read I think. So many things turn positive for us when we take that leap and leave them. It would be nice to hear more from everyone? Would it be better to start a new thread, is there a moderator somewhere?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
......when your XAH dies and you send condolences on line to his family instead of showing up at the funeral home to make sure he is really gone
(ooooohhhh, i'm sorry in advance for this statement. it's bad. I know it is bad) it's progress, not perfection, right? and I have progressed because I can remember a time that if he would have died, I would have dug him up just to make sure.
again, so sorry.
(ooooohhhh, i'm sorry in advance for this statement. it's bad. I know it is bad) it's progress, not perfection, right? and I have progressed because I can remember a time that if he would have died, I would have dug him up just to make sure.
again, so sorry.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
You and your brother split a 6 pack on Saturday night and on Sunday morning there are still 4 beers left in the fridge.
You buy new bedding and aren't mentally counting down the time until it gets befouled by urine, blood or some other unspeakable filth.
Vomiting becomes a rare occurrence in the house and an occasion for concern rather than an irritating and repulsive daily ritual.
You buy new bedding and aren't mentally counting down the time until it gets befouled by urine, blood or some other unspeakable filth.
Vomiting becomes a rare occurrence in the house and an occasion for concern rather than an irritating and repulsive daily ritual.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 188
When you learn to recognize quaking and REFUSE to buy into that b.s. anymore.
When you make the effort to surround yourself with healthy people and say bye bye to addicts and self-destructive people---and enforce boundaries when you do have to interact with unhealthy people at work, school, group social situations, etc.
When the harsh self-judgement and low self esteem that comes from not being true to yourself when you are in a relationship with an A is lifted. Yes, our feelings and desires DO matter!
When you can smile again.
When you make the effort to surround yourself with healthy people and say bye bye to addicts and self-destructive people---and enforce boundaries when you do have to interact with unhealthy people at work, school, group social situations, etc.
When the harsh self-judgement and low self esteem that comes from not being true to yourself when you are in a relationship with an A is lifted. Yes, our feelings and desires DO matter!
When you can smile again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
........when I stopped feeling emotionally hungover all the the time
........when I no longer had to partially open groceries so he couldn't return them to store for refund.....and then realize the 12 cans of corn in pantry are m.i.a.!!! corn??????? seriously, now!
........when my truck still has all 4 tires on it in the morning after he has been on a toot all night, and he sold them to someone in some bar someplace!!!!
........when I laugh out loud again at simple humor
........when I no longer had to partially open groceries so he couldn't return them to store for refund.....and then realize the 12 cans of corn in pantry are m.i.a.!!! corn??????? seriously, now!
........when my truck still has all 4 tires on it in the morning after he has been on a toot all night, and he sold them to someone in some bar someplace!!!!
........when I laugh out loud again at simple humor
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
You don't find a bottle of berries fermenting in rubbing alcohol and get yelled at when you're about to throw it away.
Apparently he was trying to make homemade wine.
Still does not beat the stolen corn. LOL Embraced2k.
Apparently he was trying to make homemade wine.
Still does not beat the stolen corn. LOL Embraced2k.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
When your 10 year sober Ah relapses in secret - you are on vacation, he insists on going to the marina and get a bag of ice you don't need. Disappears for and hour and a half. Comes back so sh1t canned he can barely walk, holding a drink in his hand, reeks because he has spilled it all over himself………….
And then swears up and down he has not been drinking and you are crazy.
Hope he stays an RAH it wasn't fun.
And then swears up and down he has not been drinking and you are crazy.
Hope he stays an RAH it wasn't fun.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: The Pit of Despair
Posts: 148
When every day you have real conversations with people...and you don't have to watch what you say, they actually listen intently to your thoughts and opinions, and then they REMEMBER it later.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: The Pit of Despair
Posts: 148
When you wake up in the morning and go to use the bathroom and don't find puke all over the walls by the toilet.
When you wake up in the morning and go in to get coffee started you don't find broken glasses and empty vodka bottles all over the counter
When you wake up in the morning you can go about your day bright and early and don't have to carefully stay super quiet....til 1 pm when the hungover angry beast would wake up needing a drink...
when you linger on a phone call with a good friend because there is no one there next to you whining about needing another drink so hurry up and get off the phone.
When you can mow the grass without being afraid to run over a beer can and have it shoot out and hit one of the kids
When you can pass a neighbor on the road and they wave instead of giving you the stink eye because there were 4 cop cars and two state trooper's cars with lights flashing in your driveway the day before
When you get carded at the Walmart checkout and its because you are buying your kid a video game, not two cases of beer and three jugs of rum
When your dogs bark and you no longer cringe in fear that they will get smacked or worse by some drunk ahole
When you watch a movie with friends, no one throws a chair at you for asking them to pause it so you can go use the bathroom....
When you watch a movie with friends, no one calls you a stupid bitch for laughing out loud at something funny
When you get a text you can read it right away, without having to find a reason to go in the bathroom first for fear the phone will be snatched out of your hands.
You start using your extra change for ice cream cones for the kids instead of hoarding them in case someone needs to go buy a $2 bottle of wine from ALDI.
OMG I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ONNNNN.......
Yep....life is so much more peaceful.
When you wake up in the morning and go in to get coffee started you don't find broken glasses and empty vodka bottles all over the counter
When you wake up in the morning you can go about your day bright and early and don't have to carefully stay super quiet....til 1 pm when the hungover angry beast would wake up needing a drink...
when you linger on a phone call with a good friend because there is no one there next to you whining about needing another drink so hurry up and get off the phone.
When you can mow the grass without being afraid to run over a beer can and have it shoot out and hit one of the kids
When you can pass a neighbor on the road and they wave instead of giving you the stink eye because there were 4 cop cars and two state trooper's cars with lights flashing in your driveway the day before
When you get carded at the Walmart checkout and its because you are buying your kid a video game, not two cases of beer and three jugs of rum
When your dogs bark and you no longer cringe in fear that they will get smacked or worse by some drunk ahole
When you watch a movie with friends, no one throws a chair at you for asking them to pause it so you can go use the bathroom....
When you watch a movie with friends, no one calls you a stupid bitch for laughing out loud at something funny
When you get a text you can read it right away, without having to find a reason to go in the bathroom first for fear the phone will be snatched out of your hands.
You start using your extra change for ice cream cones for the kids instead of hoarding them in case someone needs to go buy a $2 bottle of wine from ALDI.
OMG I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ONNNNN.......
Yep....life is so much more peaceful.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Originally Posted by embraced2000
......when your XAH dies and you send condolences on line to his family instead of showing up at the funeral home to make sure he is really gone
(ooooohhhh, i'm sorry in advance for this statement. it's bad. I know it is bad) it's progress, not perfection, right? and I have progressed because I can remember a time that if he would have died, I would have dug him up just to make sure.
again, so sorry.
(ooooohhhh, i'm sorry in advance for this statement. it's bad. I know it is bad) it's progress, not perfection, right? and I have progressed because I can remember a time that if he would have died, I would have dug him up just to make sure.
again, so sorry.
Dear embraced---yes, you are "bad"---However--this is the first time that I laughed out loud today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are just telling it like it is....
dandylion
lmao
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,057
When you find yourself reconnecting with old friends, and realize how much you missed them.
When you go where you want
watch what you want
eat what you want
do what you want
get up when you want
go to bed when you want
spend when you want
save when you want
hang out with who you want
stay away from who you want
say what you want
When you no longer live with that nagging, underlying, haunting tone of distrust, dishonesty, relapse.
When you feel FREE and at PEACE.
When you go where you want
watch what you want
eat what you want
do what you want
get up when you want
go to bed when you want
spend when you want
save when you want
hang out with who you want
stay away from who you want
say what you want
When you no longer live with that nagging, underlying, haunting tone of distrust, dishonesty, relapse.
When you feel FREE and at PEACE.
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