Authenticity VII
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norfolk, MA
Posts: 792
Thanks everyone for your loving thoughts and tributes.
My mother and son left today and it is my first night alone in the house. Dave is curled up in Robby's duffle bag on the kitchen table. Lucy is chasing chipmunks out back. I'm sitting outside trying to take it all in.
That last day, a Thursday, was pretty commonplace. We had a wonderful nurse who came in at 7,(after Ubby woke me by tapping on my foot at 6-spooky?Yeah!).
Another nurse came in at 8 and put a subcutaneous line on Rob's arm and started his Dilaudid pump. He slept on and off all day.
Around 5 or so, Rob complained to me that he was getting too much painkiller, as he said,"I'm a smart boy and this makes me stupid"!
I asked the nurse if she would lower the dosage and after consulting with the doctor the dose was lowered by half. Within a few hours Rob felt better. He still couldn't really eat much and was asking for a glass of ice water, a glass and spoon of ice chips and a glass of O.J. to be on the bedside table always.
He was having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed and had had our handyman, Mark come in and put a bunch of wood 2x4s under the head of the bed. Earlier, his brother Glen stopped over and sat with Rob talking about work. Rob told him it was taking too much out of him to listen and he would have to leave.
Ubby showed up for work and I mentioned his snoring in front of the nurse who was leaving, to embarrass him. Did the trick!
We had a quiet evening and I went to go get something in our bedroom, ( we were camping out in the guest room), and when I came back, Rob told both Ubby and me to stand where he could see both of us. He then explained that he wanted to go to a hospital or hospice but if he stayed at home he was going to go nuts. I listened to him and he explained that he wanted an ambulance to take him ASAP to the hospital, that he could not go on asking us to do everything for him, etc.
We called an ambulance and they arrived at about 2:00am. Before he left the house he asked that I bring each cat separately to say goodbye.
I drove my own car and met them there. When they arrived, he looked at me and said, "Melissa, you're such a girl". I said, " Just because you're my guy".
We waited in the hallway as he got registered and he asked me for his phone. He called his brother and left a sweet message saying how much he loved him.
He asked for the gurney head to be lowered and then said he needed more oxygen and that was that. He was gone.
My mother and son left today and it is my first night alone in the house. Dave is curled up in Robby's duffle bag on the kitchen table. Lucy is chasing chipmunks out back. I'm sitting outside trying to take it all in.
That last day, a Thursday, was pretty commonplace. We had a wonderful nurse who came in at 7,(after Ubby woke me by tapping on my foot at 6-spooky?Yeah!).
Another nurse came in at 8 and put a subcutaneous line on Rob's arm and started his Dilaudid pump. He slept on and off all day.
Around 5 or so, Rob complained to me that he was getting too much painkiller, as he said,"I'm a smart boy and this makes me stupid"!
I asked the nurse if she would lower the dosage and after consulting with the doctor the dose was lowered by half. Within a few hours Rob felt better. He still couldn't really eat much and was asking for a glass of ice water, a glass and spoon of ice chips and a glass of O.J. to be on the bedside table always.
He was having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed and had had our handyman, Mark come in and put a bunch of wood 2x4s under the head of the bed. Earlier, his brother Glen stopped over and sat with Rob talking about work. Rob told him it was taking too much out of him to listen and he would have to leave.
Ubby showed up for work and I mentioned his snoring in front of the nurse who was leaving, to embarrass him. Did the trick!
We had a quiet evening and I went to go get something in our bedroom, ( we were camping out in the guest room), and when I came back, Rob told both Ubby and me to stand where he could see both of us. He then explained that he wanted to go to a hospital or hospice but if he stayed at home he was going to go nuts. I listened to him and he explained that he wanted an ambulance to take him ASAP to the hospital, that he could not go on asking us to do everything for him, etc.
We called an ambulance and they arrived at about 2:00am. Before he left the house he asked that I bring each cat separately to say goodbye.
I drove my own car and met them there. When they arrived, he looked at me and said, "Melissa, you're such a girl". I said, " Just because you're my guy".
We waited in the hallway as he got registered and he asked me for his phone. He called his brother and left a sweet message saying how much he loved him.
He asked for the gurney head to be lowered and then said he needed more oxygen and that was that. He was gone.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Thanks so much for sharing that with us Melissa.
His passing sounds peaceful, and I'm glad for that - its just the way he, and all his friends and loved ones, would want it.
He deserved no less. He was as Trach says a Titan and I miss him.
we're all with you too
D
His passing sounds peaceful, and I'm glad for that - its just the way he, and all his friends and loved ones, would want it.
He deserved no less. He was as Trach says a Titan and I miss him.
we're all with you too
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norfolk, MA
Posts: 792
I kissed his forehead, said thank you to him and told him to have an amazing journey. I called my mother, cried and drove home alone. I got home at about 4 and wandered the house. I called my son in Florida and got a very touching call from my ex.(Son called him). I tried to go to sleep at 5 and by 5:45ish noticed the most glorious sunrise.
Finally I fell asleep only to be scared out of my mind by the day nurse rubbing my leg!!! Nobody had called her, thanks for saying you would, Ubby. I stayed in bed all day, sleeping on and off and answering phone call after phone call. Finally at 7pm, I got my act together and left and picked up my mother at the airport. When we got home, we went right in and cleaned everything out of the guest room. Such a help having her there.
The next day my son flew in from Florida and they both stayed a week. We laughed and talked and watched endless Forensic Files on HLN in between doing a lot of work! All of Rob's clothes got bagged and ready for donation. All of his bathroom things, drugs, razor,etc were disposed of. I called a realtor to list the house, I went to the funeral home and arranged Rob's cremation, I have 2 estate sale people to interview. I have talked to his lawyer. I have let his ex and daughter know. Ex came at my request and picked up daughters boxes from the basement. And I slept! A lot!
It was wonderful having them here, but now I am on my own. And I'm a little scared...
Finally I fell asleep only to be scared out of my mind by the day nurse rubbing my leg!!! Nobody had called her, thanks for saying you would, Ubby. I stayed in bed all day, sleeping on and off and answering phone call after phone call. Finally at 7pm, I got my act together and left and picked up my mother at the airport. When we got home, we went right in and cleaned everything out of the guest room. Such a help having her there.
The next day my son flew in from Florida and they both stayed a week. We laughed and talked and watched endless Forensic Files on HLN in between doing a lot of work! All of Rob's clothes got bagged and ready for donation. All of his bathroom things, drugs, razor,etc were disposed of. I called a realtor to list the house, I went to the funeral home and arranged Rob's cremation, I have 2 estate sale people to interview. I have talked to his lawyer. I have let his ex and daughter know. Ex came at my request and picked up daughters boxes from the basement. And I slept! A lot!
It was wonderful having them here, but now I am on my own. And I'm a little scared...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norfolk, MA
Posts: 792
One of the things he said to me when we were at the hospital was,
"I'm so glad to be here. While I was at home, I was fighting to live. Here, I can just let go. I should have known better from the start, that I would be happiest in a place like the hospital, with all my experience being in hospitals all my life, where I would have the advantage".
"I'm so glad to be here. While I was at home, I was fighting to live. Here, I can just let go. I should have known better from the start, that I would be happiest in a place like the hospital, with all my experience being in hospitals all my life, where I would have the advantage".
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
It sounds like Rob left this world on his own terms -- and thinking of you, Melissa, right up to his departure. I hope that has brought you some level of comfort in these difficult days.
My thoughts are with you.
My thoughts are with you.
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