Thanks everyone for your loving thoughts and tributes.
My mother and son left today and it is my first night alone in the house. Dave is curled up in Robby's duffle bag on the kitchen table. Lucy is chasing chipmunks out back. I'm sitting outside trying to take it all in.
That last day, a Thursday, was pretty commonplace. We had a wonderful nurse who came in at 7,(after Ubby woke me by tapping on my foot at 6-spooky?Yeah!).
Another nurse came in at 8 and put a subcutaneous line on Rob's arm and started his Dilaudid pump. He slept on and off all day.
Around 5 or so, Rob complained to me that he was getting too much painkiller, as he said,"I'm a smart boy and this makes me stupid"!
I asked the nurse if she would lower the dosage and after consulting with the doctor the dose was lowered by half. Within a few hours Rob felt better. He still couldn't really eat much and was asking for a glass of ice water, a glass and spoon of ice chips and a glass of O.J. to be on the bedside table always.
He was having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed and had had our handyman, Mark come in and put a bunch of wood 2x4s under the head of the bed. Earlier, his brother Glen stopped over and sat with Rob talking about work. Rob told him it was taking too much out of him to listen and he would have to leave.
Ubby showed up for work and I mentioned his snoring in front of the nurse who was leaving, to embarrass him. Did the trick!
We had a quiet evening and I went to go get something in our bedroom, ( we were camping out in the guest room), and when I came back, Rob told both Ubby and me to stand where he could see both of us. He then explained that he wanted to go to a hospital or hospice but if he stayed at home he was going to go nuts. I listened to him and he explained that he wanted an ambulance to take him ASAP to the hospital, that he could not go on asking us to do everything for him, etc.
We called an ambulance and they arrived at about 2:00am. Before he left the house he asked that I bring each cat separately to say goodbye.
I drove my own car and met them there. When they arrived, he looked at me and said, "Melissa, you're such a girl". I said, " Just because you're my guy".
We waited in the hallway as he got registered and he asked me for his phone. He called his brother and left a sweet message saying how much he loved him.
He asked for the gurney head to be lowered and then said he needed more oxygen and that was that. He was gone.