Authenticity V
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I'm not very good at letting go. I would like to be able to be mature enough to wish people well as they move on as the other contributors have, but mostly I want to metaphorically hang on to their ankles and sob.
I wish you well Haenie, of course, but I wish you weren't going. This feels like a little family now ❤️
I wish you well Haenie, of course, but I wish you weren't going. This feels like a little family now ❤️
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Haennie - I am sorry to see you go! I really enjoyed your contributions here. You are so complex and interesting and have a great insight into things. I know you said to not try and talk you out of it, but I hope you will reconsider and return. Good luck with everything and peace be with you.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot 
Hi Wolfie. Yeah, therapy really made a difference for me with my anxieties. In therapy I was finally able to understand I was not at fault for how I felt about so many outstanding issues in my life. My feelings were mine to own or not, and this really helped me make better choices on who I wanted to be with respect to what I had already experienced. Therapy offered me new opportunities to appreciate what I had going for me so as to learn from my experiences no matter how awful they were I could still learn and grow and change.
I hope for you every success Wolfie.
I hope for you every success Wolfie.
Thank you & have a nice day Robby & Melissa
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hello all y'all
A beautiful week of sunshine with a hopeful high of 88F. Yeah baby, pool time for sure, lol. Soaking up those rays, floating around with my Melissa, enjoying the good life alcohol free and lovin' it.
Hey Wolfie. Good to hear you're feeling better about therapy.
I'm watching a James Cagney film noir "White Heat" 1949. A classic gangster with Edmond O'Brien.
A beautiful week of sunshine with a hopeful high of 88F. Yeah baby, pool time for sure, lol. Soaking up those rays, floating around with my Melissa, enjoying the good life alcohol free and lovin' it.
Hey Wolfie. Good to hear you're feeling better about therapy.
I'm watching a James Cagney film noir "White Heat" 1949. A classic gangster with Edmond O'Brien.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Hi Rob, hi everyone 
Re haennie -- I sent a PM, don't know if you'll check --
I've always been a sticker-around. I remember once a guy told me that he'd was going back to an old girlfriend, and he told me we didn't need to break up because we'd never really been a couple. My thought which I didn't express was that we didn't need to break up because I was still around in exactly the same way as before. I don't like leaving. (My son, when he was tiny, couldn't be persuaded to say "bye-bye".)
It's that idea of closure again. I don't look at relationships that way. Everyone I remember is still in there, in me, and how can you stop that?Absence doesn't mean an end, even chosen absence. It's just a change in form -- like a punctuation mark, a symbol of a stop, but words retain their meaning even when there aren't any more words. The "haennie" we have known so far, well, her influence continues. And maybe she'll add to it, or I'll think back on it again and newly.
That's how I deal with loss. It's got a certain amount of hauntedness, but not always in a bad way. Does that make sense?
Re haennie -- I sent a PM, don't know if you'll check --
I've always been a sticker-around. I remember once a guy told me that he'd was going back to an old girlfriend, and he told me we didn't need to break up because we'd never really been a couple. My thought which I didn't express was that we didn't need to break up because I was still around in exactly the same way as before. I don't like leaving. (My son, when he was tiny, couldn't be persuaded to say "bye-bye".)
It's that idea of closure again. I don't look at relationships that way. Everyone I remember is still in there, in me, and how can you stop that?Absence doesn't mean an end, even chosen absence. It's just a change in form -- like a punctuation mark, a symbol of a stop, but words retain their meaning even when there aren't any more words. The "haennie" we have known so far, well, her influence continues. And maybe she'll add to it, or I'll think back on it again and newly.
That's how I deal with loss. It's got a certain amount of hauntedness, but not always in a bad way. Does that make sense?
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Hi all. Old movies rock Robbie. There is a Twilight Zone marathon I am enjoying today. I like checking the date recorded and seeing it 6 or 7 years before I was even born. I wonder where I was then.
Haenie: I have felt like I needed to go cold turkey off this site probably dozens of times in the past couple of years. I understand the sentiment that it has become obsessive. I now see that obsession as a good thing. I really think I needed to immerse myself in this recovery thing even though at first I didn't think there was much work to do. I honestly don't think I would have made it past some of the month 18 or month 24 pitfalls without a connection to this community. I hope you don't hesitate to get obsessed again if you need to.
Haenie: I have felt like I needed to go cold turkey off this site probably dozens of times in the past couple of years. I understand the sentiment that it has become obsessive. I now see that obsession as a good thing. I really think I needed to immerse myself in this recovery thing even though at first I didn't think there was much work to do. I honestly don't think I would have made it past some of the month 18 or month 24 pitfalls without a connection to this community. I hope you don't hesitate to get obsessed again if you need to.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Hi jacks & jammers! -- (that was something my grandfather used to say. I've never been able to figure out where it came from)
I hope you've had a good-enough day. I spent mine mostly in silence, at my office, where a few security guards, custodians and I were the only living beings (except the mice) in 21 stories of prime NYC real estate. Just the way I like it. Now I'm frustrated because I can't cancel my son's cell phone service over the internet. They want to force me to talk to them so they can try to persuade me not to. Ha!
Well, I'm independent, sober, not-closuring, alcoholic, crazy-but-managing, and aware that it all could be a lot worse. I hope you're all doing as well as can be expected, too!*
Hey Melissa, give Rob a kiss on the cheek from me, ok?
*"in spite of the tennis"
I hope you've had a good-enough day. I spent mine mostly in silence, at my office, where a few security guards, custodians and I were the only living beings (except the mice) in 21 stories of prime NYC real estate. Just the way I like it. Now I'm frustrated because I can't cancel my son's cell phone service over the internet. They want to force me to talk to them so they can try to persuade me not to. Ha!
Well, I'm independent, sober, not-closuring, alcoholic, crazy-but-managing, and aware that it all could be a lot worse. I hope you're all doing as well as can be expected, too!*
Hey Melissa, give Rob a kiss on the cheek from me, ok?
*"in spite of the tennis"
Adventures In SpaceTime
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hey guys and gals. 
I'm quiet this weekend. Feeling exhausted. Sleeping twice as much as I usually do. Feeling persistent pains in the top of my stomach just at the bottom of my ribs. I have meds for this already but I suppose I'll make the call Monday and see what is going on since the meds were working better before than now.
My younger brother and his son are coming over after lunch for some R/C racing. I have a stable of Traxxas Stampede and Nitro off-road. These badboys are awesome. Waterproofed electronics and motors for fun rain or shine. I've used them in the snow too. Too much fun, lol.
As I get more practice dealing with my cancer fallout, I'm coming to the realization I need to re-think my physical limits and expectations. As some here might recall from earlier threads, I'm also dealing with spinal stenosis and advanced scoliosis both which require fusion surgery which was to be scheduled for this summer but now of course cancelled in light of my prognosis. So these additional physical limitations are still in play causing me pain, weakness, and most importantly lack of endurance.
Proper strength exercise following surgery is the best remedy. Unfortunately the more I exercise without the surgery, the more I need to rest up just to exercise some more, which is normally expected until my stamina builds back up. However, this self-defeating cycle has to stop with respect to my cancer. Since my latest prognosis has me living like around 8-6 months (wtf?) give or take a few months I really don't have the "time" to invest in a proper exercise program, nor will I enjoy real success even if I had the time because the corrective surgery is not happening.
Damn.
So I'm selling my boats. With having explored many thoughtful scenarios, I just don't have the luxury of meeting the reasonable expectations to properly and safely Captain my boats. I'll do better to take the proceeds from the sales and take Melissa and I on a vacation. Even in a giveaway sale I expect to clear 50K. If I wait, then as the boating season wanes, I'll have less buyers interested.
Man, my physical body is some kind of mess, yeah? Don't answer that, lol. I'm down a bit emotionally as time and again I'm forced to keep moving my goalposts so as to stay in the game physically speaking.
Meh. I care about my physical realities, but then again, I don't care, you know? There is something to be said for doing the right thing here for my inner being rather than work my physical self like crazy for no good reason. I can't win this fight with my body anymore. I've done well physically when we appreciate my entire backstory of being a polio survivor back in '58 and '59. Yeah. And so on and whatever. Okay, so I require a new attitude and a repurposing of my expectations and abilities with respect to my ongoing degenerative physical health. How hard can that be in the midst of everything else?! Wow comes to mind, hahaha.
I'm quiet this weekend. Feeling exhausted. Sleeping twice as much as I usually do. Feeling persistent pains in the top of my stomach just at the bottom of my ribs. I have meds for this already but I suppose I'll make the call Monday and see what is going on since the meds were working better before than now.
My younger brother and his son are coming over after lunch for some R/C racing. I have a stable of Traxxas Stampede and Nitro off-road. These badboys are awesome. Waterproofed electronics and motors for fun rain or shine. I've used them in the snow too. Too much fun, lol.
As I get more practice dealing with my cancer fallout, I'm coming to the realization I need to re-think my physical limits and expectations. As some here might recall from earlier threads, I'm also dealing with spinal stenosis and advanced scoliosis both which require fusion surgery which was to be scheduled for this summer but now of course cancelled in light of my prognosis. So these additional physical limitations are still in play causing me pain, weakness, and most importantly lack of endurance.
Proper strength exercise following surgery is the best remedy. Unfortunately the more I exercise without the surgery, the more I need to rest up just to exercise some more, which is normally expected until my stamina builds back up. However, this self-defeating cycle has to stop with respect to my cancer. Since my latest prognosis has me living like around 8-6 months (wtf?) give or take a few months I really don't have the "time" to invest in a proper exercise program, nor will I enjoy real success even if I had the time because the corrective surgery is not happening.
Damn.
So I'm selling my boats. With having explored many thoughtful scenarios, I just don't have the luxury of meeting the reasonable expectations to properly and safely Captain my boats. I'll do better to take the proceeds from the sales and take Melissa and I on a vacation. Even in a giveaway sale I expect to clear 50K. If I wait, then as the boating season wanes, I'll have less buyers interested.
Man, my physical body is some kind of mess, yeah? Don't answer that, lol. I'm down a bit emotionally as time and again I'm forced to keep moving my goalposts so as to stay in the game physically speaking.
Meh. I care about my physical realities, but then again, I don't care, you know? There is something to be said for doing the right thing here for my inner being rather than work my physical self like crazy for no good reason. I can't win this fight with my body anymore. I've done well physically when we appreciate my entire backstory of being a polio survivor back in '58 and '59. Yeah. And so on and whatever. Okay, so I require a new attitude and a repurposing of my expectations and abilities with respect to my ongoing degenerative physical health. How hard can that be in the midst of everything else?! Wow comes to mind, hahaha.
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