Authenticity V

 
Old 06-28-2015, 06:24 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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(((ArtFriend))) Very moving and compelling indeed.
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:27 AM
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Hi all. Nothing new to report from Minnesota. Hugs to all those dealing with pain today.

In the St. Paul Sunday paper there was an insert called Parade and it featured a column from Marilyn vos Savant. She had the highest recorded IQ according to the Guinness Book of Records. I remember reading her answer to this question. I dug it up and holy crap that was almost 30 years ago.

https://news.google.com/newspapers?n...,4014264&hl=en

"Distracts our attention from the real question"

Have a good day and if you can't do that...keep on truckin'
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:31 AM
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Sorry AF I missed the story about your sister. I think compelling is a great word for it.
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:33 AM
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Well if Marilyn vos Savant (is that her real name? LOL) says it, then the issue is settled. Thanks SilentRun. Say hi to all my relatives there in minne-soooota
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Old 06-28-2015, 06:35 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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What do you guys think? Should I end the book when my sister dies or should I include the aftermath? Huge aftermath for my whole family.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:08 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
What do you guys think? Should I end the book when my sister dies or should I include the aftermath? Huge aftermath for my whole family.
ArtFriend, my sister has debilitating mental health issues also. Diagnosed schizophrenic. Voices talk to her all the time. It got so bad that she attempted suicide. She too lost everything. She's on and always will be on medications for the rest of her life. The only reason she gets by is because of the love of our family. It's a horrible disease.

It also takes a huge toll on the families. With that being said I think you should include the aftermath. It's an important part of the story that shouldn't go untold.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:15 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
What do you guys think? Should I end the book when my sister dies or should I include the aftermath? Huge aftermath for my whole family.
Include the aftermath. Aftermath shows the true effect of the event.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
What do you guys think? Should I end the book when my sister dies or should I include the aftermath? Huge aftermath for my whole family.
You're the author (or co-author) of the book. It's entirely your call. Write it to your satisfaction. I'm thinking since your writings are now without your sisters participation, the relative aftermath is essentially important to be told from your perspective.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:41 AM
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I missed out on a lot of goings-on here. Reading back has been interesting.

For an alcoholic like me, it's all about me, so I figure for you all, it's all about you, too, whoever you are, so it's all about all of us then, isn't it? And we're all at the center of the same planet, with the same universe revolving separately around each of us personally.

No wonder there are collisions!

As far as angels and pins, doesn't it depend on whether it's the foxtrot or the tango? Or the can-can?

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Old 06-28-2015, 07:48 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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cou, I think that it being all about us, individually, is part of addiction. Caring about others is something normal people do.

That was hard to say. Something normal people do.

I'm not normal. In hindsight, I've never been normal. Never will be, obviously.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:57 AM
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Normal is way overrated
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by trachemys View Post
cou, I think that it being all about us, individually, is part of addiction. Caring about others is something normal people do.

That was hard to say. Something normal people do.

I'm not normal. In hindsight, I've never been normal. Never will be, obviously.
You betcha! Can't imagine the state, though I do believe a lot of people approximate it more closely than I. Sometimes I've tried to think to myself, what would a normal person do? But it doesn't help, 'cause it's like wondering what Tom Sawyer or someone who do -- normal is near-fictitious for me.

I do better thinking what a more sober alcoholic with a jumbling of various other psychiatric, racial, sexual and etc labels would do. That thought at least gives me a laugh!
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:59 AM
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I'm obviously not normal either. I'm not going to say caring about others is something that normal people naturally do though

I think caring about others starts within ourselves relative to our early years of life. Caring for others is a learned thing. Being an active alcoholic from age 12 to age 24 didn't mean I stopped caring about others. What happened is I stop caring about myself, and because of my uncaring for myself I had little left to care about others so in effect I didn't care about others like I do today being all sober and so on and whatever.

I think it being about ourselves first is a normal human condition. I think caring about others is something more advanced than what we are born with "normally"
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:04 AM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
Normal is way overrated
But, do I have to be this effing damaged? And do I have to know that I'm this damaged?
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:06 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
Normal is way overrated
In retrospect, it would have been nice, but as Trach said, likely never a possibility. But to be able to recognize real problems as my own or not my own and not spin off into literally years of destructive and deluded harm to myself and others on the grounds of problems of my own imagination? To be able to form a goal and pursue it or change it as information was gained instead of always approaching goals from behind like a saboteur or building them up engineered to fall like a demented sapper? To form relationships that weren't based on mutual mistrust and manipulation?

Nah, I don't overrate normal. Learning to live normal --even if it hasn't come naturally -- is aspirational.
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:12 AM
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Rob, I agree many characteristics of a normal adult are learned. But lke Trach, I've been pretty shocked to get the merest glimpse of what a normal person would have learned by my age. Drinking instead of learning to be normal -- even learning normal ways to treat my other abnormalities -- for most of a lifetime.... I wouldn't recommend it, even it it makes one charmingly eccentric or wise in the ways of the world.
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:22 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by trachemys View Post
But, do I have to be this effing damaged? And do I have to know that I'm this damaged?
I'm thinking being "damaged" is in the eye of the beholder and entirely subjective. Over the several years of my sobriety I've morphed from my former damaged self into a more healed self. I'm less damaged now because I've purposely sought out many healing experiences so has to rid myself of my earlier damaging experiences and to become a new person living a new lifestyle.

Suffering from whatever has damaged us eventually can be distilled down to making sweet 'n sour lemonade from whatever experiences are dogging us. Yes, initially suffering must be experienced. Ongoing relentless suffering is more about choosing to suffer in present time rather than being damaged in the past. I've overcome some severe challenges which I indeed had horrific sufferings. I still have measures of suffering, lets be honest, but these sufferings are more about my choices and my responsibilities to my present day.

My past is my past and a permanent remedy for my past is not required. It is what it is today, even if that said past cannot be changed, I can still make differences which negate much of my past sufferings.

Its a brand new day after all y'all.

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Old 06-28-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 98 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by courage2 View Post
Rob, I agree many characteristics of a normal adult are learned. But lke Trach, I've been pretty shocked to get the merest glimpse of what a normal person would have learned by my age. Drinking instead of learning to be normal -- even learning normal ways to treat my other abnormalities -- for most of a lifetime.... I wouldn't recommend it, even it it makes one charmingly eccentric or wise in the ways of the world.
Yup, I wouldn't say drinking is taking the higher road than is not drinking. I do say though that enjoying a state of normality for a recovered alcoholic drug addict such as myself is a delusion at best and at worst a self-serving enterprise which must thereafter having been reached (or rather claimed) cause one who is now "normalized" to distain and resent their own origins.
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:44 AM
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People tell me I am "interesting" or "unusual" or "different"... polite terms for "eccentric" or "weird". I personally view it as a compliment.

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Old 06-28-2015, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
I'm thinking being "damaged" is in the eye of the beholder and entirely subjective. Over the several years of my sobriety I've morphed from my former damaged self into a more healed self. I'm less damaged now because I've purposely sought out many healing experiences so has to rid myself of my earlier damaging experiences and to become a new person living a new lifestyle.
Damaged is damaged. That I spent decades hiding it from myself is atrocious enough.

I feel like a newborn. Scared and clumsy, just learning to stand. What is this world? The problem is, I'm not newborn. My past is with me, reminding me, beckoning me. "Just do what you used to".

Every step forward is a war.
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