Long time lurker..finally getting real with myself
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 61
Long time lurker..finally getting real with myself
Hi everyone..I'm a new poster on SR, but a 2 year lurker...my name is Laly and I am a recovery alcoholic of 10 years, however, I am a prescription drug addict and have been for 3 years. My DOC is firorocet, a migraine med. I am in therapy and my therapist thinks I no longer use firorocet as of about 1 year ago. I have been honest with her up until I realized she thought I was no longer using. I have not been honest with her because I did not want to disappoint her. That is a theme in my history. Sheesh...I guess I should just stick to an introduction and get into the c$&p later 
.
Basically I want to say hi. Since I have lurked for so long, I feel like I know so many members....
So...by signing up to SR I feel like I am making myself accountable in a safe way. I am taking the first step to admitting to myself and the cyber world my life is unmanageable. Thank you all for listening to me ramble. I love you all. I'm jumping in...
And I'm scared....
. Basically I want to say hi. Since I have lurked for so long, I feel like I know so many members....
So...by signing up to SR I feel like I am making myself accountable in a safe way. I am taking the first step to admitting to myself and the cyber world my life is unmanageable. Thank you all for listening to me ramble. I love you all. I'm jumping in...
And I'm scared....
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 61
Hi Dee...as the long lurker that I have been, I have to tell you.. I am soooo excited to hear from you...like you spoke directly to me..I know you just did...hard to explain....self worth/esteem maybe. Thank you for responding...huge hugs to you...without hurting the Gibson. . Thank you again Dee.
. Thank you again Dee.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Hi Twinings..thanks for the warm welcome. Yes I am planning on coming clean with the therapist. I feel like coming clean here, opened up the door to my resistant heart. I feel so ready to do so I am contemplating sending an email first, and then talk to her in 2 weeks.
Thank you for the confidence building. I am sooooo glad I joined SR.
Thank you for the confidence building. I am sooooo glad I joined SR.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 61
Huge belly laugh.....loving the sassy humor..re: Muppet Gibson...You would make Jim Henson proud
This msg reply to Dee. The board looks different now that I'm not lurking....harder to follow
This msg reply to Dee. The board looks different now that I'm not lurking....harder to follow
Last edited by Laly; 12-25-2013 at 03:24 AM. Reason: Sheesh...newbie
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CleaninLi.....thanks soooo much. Really means so much. You really are another poster I have read and respected your responses. Wow..why did I take so long to join. Well..it really takes what it takes. Putting the plug in the jug seems easy, in retrospect. I believe I was not done numbing out...more later. You are awesome. Thank you for responding. Hugs to you. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Love ya
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Hey Alba...thanks for the Kudos!! Before I forget...the thanks button doesn't show up on everyone's post, so I don't want ya'll to think I'm already picking and choosing who I wanna be 'cordial' too 
I can't string together 2 weeks.... I'm proud of you. Way to go. Thank you for sharing. Love & hugs to you! L
I can't string together 2 weeks.... I'm proud of you. Way to go. Thank you for sharing. Love & hugs to you! L
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 168
Welcome!
I understand what you're feeling. I let my psych nurse, and my GP, think that I wasn't abusing pills (specifically I let my psych nurse think I had stopped, let my GP think it had never occurred). After I came out of a crisis center, I realized I had to tell those who were looking out for me that I was an addict. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. In the end, I realized that they weren't disappointed - they were proud of me for admitting to them I had a problem.
It's never easy admitting you're an addict. But it shows a lot of courage when you're able to do it.
I understand what you're feeling. I let my psych nurse, and my GP, think that I wasn't abusing pills (specifically I let my psych nurse think I had stopped, let my GP think it had never occurred). After I came out of a crisis center, I realized I had to tell those who were looking out for me that I was an addict. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. In the end, I realized that they weren't disappointed - they were proud of me for admitting to them I had a problem.
It's never easy admitting you're an addict. But it shows a lot of courage when you're able to do it.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
Hi Laly, good work on taking the step to admit here how things have become unmanageable. Looking back I too first made that confession on these boards, in the internet realm. Small baby steps was the only way I was able to move forward with the looming guilt and shame that I carried on my back like a sack of dead promises. Keep taking those baby steps forward, open up and be honest with yourself and those around you, and you can have a new world of opportunity.
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Thank you PlasticInsanity
Originally Posted by PlasticInsanity 
Welcome!
I understand what you're feeling. I let my psych nurse, and my GP, think that I wasn't abusing pills (specifically I let my psych nurse think I had stopped, let my GP think it had never occurred). After I came out of a crisis center, I realized I had to tell those who were looking out for me that I was an addict. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. In the end, I realized that they weren't disappointed - they were proud of me for admitting to them I had a problem.
It's never easy admitting you're an addict. But it shows a lot of courage when you're able to do it.
I understand what you're feeling. I let my psych nurse, and my GP, think that I wasn't abusing pills (specifically I let my psych nurse think I had stopped, let my GP think it had never occurred). After I came out of a crisis center, I realized I had to tell those who were looking out for me that I was an addict. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. In the end, I realized that they weren't disappointed - they were proud of me for admitting to them I had a problem.
It's never easy admitting you're an addict. But it shows a lot of courage when you're able to do it.
PS...I don't know if I am posting correctly..looks different as an insider. I'll get it soon...
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Thanks Tryin...I'm really working on it. I worked hard on my alcohol sobriety. This feels different, yet the same....if that makes any sense. I have been contemplating various plans of action. The most exciting aspect is not sharing what my specific plan of action is, rather the liberating aspect of telling y'all in SR that I have a drug problem and it's become unmanageable. Wow...for me, a 12 program works, and I am watching it unfold right before my eyes. That's just from my perspective. Thank you all for listening. Love and hugs. L
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dantes 9th circle
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Welcome and know you are not alone. This place is full of really awesome people, who understand how hard the road to recovery can be, so the support you will find here is some of the best around.
All of G-ds stength and love to you.
All of G-ds stength and love to you.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Thank you laly and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday too! For me that first step was the hardest and took the longest. It took me many years to realize that I am indeed powerless over my pain pill addiction and my life was unmanageable. I kept tricking myself into believing I had control.
So glad you are here! ((((Hugs))))
So glad you are here! ((((Hugs))))
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Thank you laly and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday too! For me that first step was the hardest and took the longest. It took me many years to realize and admit that I am indeed powerless over my pain pill addiction and my life was unmanageable. I kept tricking myself into believing I had control.
So glad you are here! ((((Hugs))))
So glad you are here! ((((Hugs))))
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