Welcome!
I understand what you're feeling. I let my psych nurse, and my GP, think that I wasn't abusing pills (specifically I let my psych nurse think I had stopped, let my GP think it had never occurred). After I came out of a crisis center, I realized I had to tell those who were looking out for me that I was an addict. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. In the end, I realized that they weren't disappointed - they were proud of me for admitting to them I had a problem.
It's never easy admitting you're an addict. But it shows a lot of courage when you're able to do it.