cleaninLI

Woops not sure what happened!

PlasticInsanity

I'll give you a quick version of my story. My first time at recovery, I admitted to my GP and psych. My second, I realized I didn't come clean to the walk-in doctor here in town - because there was still that 'addicted' side of me I wasn't ready to give up yet. After I admitted to him, he was not shocked but told me to keep up with living clean.

I was scared to admit it because I was also afraid of being yelled at. I find this funny, but my psych nurse took my relapse very well - but got a bit frustrated when I told her I was spreading out my anti-dep's to make them last longer, lol.

The first time all my friends and family found out I was a 'suicidal-addict' (I self-medicated to ignore those feelings) I felt so naked; everyone now knew all of my secrets, and I had nothing to hide. The shock quickly subsided though, and it felt really good not to have to lie all the time anymore. Of course, since then I've relapsed a few times, but with each relapse comes a lesson.

If you can, seek out Narcotics Anonymous meetings. You're not required to be clean, only a desire to get clean is needed. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have made the decision on my own to get clean.

Laly

Hi Fear...I feel like I walked into a room of people who know EXACTLY what I'm feeling without having to open my scared little girls mouth. Thanks for the love. L

Laly

Hi Plastic..thank you for sharing your story. When I first started therapy I told my therapist I was abusing my meds. We talked out a strategy and off I went, clean....for a while. I didn't want to tell her a second time because I was afraid of her showing me the door. I can't go on like this any more. I feel sick physically....I'm done. I live in a small town and we don't have NA. I still attend my home AA, and they welcome cross addiction so I feel blessed. Hugs and love to you Plastic. L

Laly

Hi Fear...I feel like I walked into a room of people who know EXACTLY what I'm feeling without having to open my scared little girls mouth. Thanks for the love. L

Laly

Sheesh.....a double post.....where is my newbie card....

PlasticInsanity

I was kind of fearful of that as well - but more so of being yelled at. Neither of these occurred. Professionals understand that to help treat an addict, you need to be empathetic when they admit to their wrongdoings - any professional who doesn't, simply shouldn't be in that position.

Have you thought of going to online meetings? If you google it, quite a few options come forward. A few members in my NA group swear by this. I don't have a mic or webcam so I have yet to try it lol but I was told even without it you're able to just listen in.

feeling-good

Hi - I just want to say a big welcome! This place is great and I like spending time here