Need some insight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 326
Need some insight
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I usally post over in the alcohol section, but my hubby and I had an interesting Christmas. My SIL and BIL, we thought, were past users of opium. Because we've been spending more time with SIL trying to help her get a few issues in her life straightened out, including why she wants to stay married to a verbally and emotionally abusive man, we've had the light gradually dawn on us through her admissions and just our own general observations that
1) BIL is smoking opium again or still, and the man is already unable to work due to lupus and some other health concerns.
2) SIL has been taking xanax three times a day and painkillers for her back problem AND going to the methadone clinic once a day.
I did a little internet research which revealed that it is highly unlikely that her current M.D. would be giving an admitted methadone user xanax to deal with anxiety or keep refilling painkiller scrips, so I'm thinking that she's not honest with her M.D.
3) SIL just about nodded out at Christmas breakfast and couldn't swallow her food and just wanted to be taken home. Hubby really freaked out and tried to tell her later that it was time for her to consider rehab. She half-heartedly agreed and said maybe she could quit the xanax on her own.
In a later conversation with her this evening, my SIL tells me that yes, her doctor, who she claims is a neurologist AND addiction specialist, knows that she's on methadone and gives her the scrip for xanax and Flexeril. I call BS. That would violate some medical principles according to my Web research.
Hubby and I don't know what to believe and have come to the conclusion that by helping out financially a little here and there for groceries, etc. that we have probably just been enabling something we had no idea was going on and that both are probably still using. So my question to those of you who would care to answer was did your family/friends saying to you "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" and the resulting lack of money spur you on towards recovery? And did you try to BS your relatives/friends by telling them you were in some form of recovery when you weren't? This has really made our Christmas, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for listening.
I usally post over in the alcohol section, but my hubby and I had an interesting Christmas. My SIL and BIL, we thought, were past users of opium. Because we've been spending more time with SIL trying to help her get a few issues in her life straightened out, including why she wants to stay married to a verbally and emotionally abusive man, we've had the light gradually dawn on us through her admissions and just our own general observations that
1) BIL is smoking opium again or still, and the man is already unable to work due to lupus and some other health concerns.
2) SIL has been taking xanax three times a day and painkillers for her back problem AND going to the methadone clinic once a day.
I did a little internet research which revealed that it is highly unlikely that her current M.D. would be giving an admitted methadone user xanax to deal with anxiety or keep refilling painkiller scrips, so I'm thinking that she's not honest with her M.D.
3) SIL just about nodded out at Christmas breakfast and couldn't swallow her food and just wanted to be taken home. Hubby really freaked out and tried to tell her later that it was time for her to consider rehab. She half-heartedly agreed and said maybe she could quit the xanax on her own.
In a later conversation with her this evening, my SIL tells me that yes, her doctor, who she claims is a neurologist AND addiction specialist, knows that she's on methadone and gives her the scrip for xanax and Flexeril. I call BS. That would violate some medical principles according to my Web research.
Hubby and I don't know what to believe and have come to the conclusion that by helping out financially a little here and there for groceries, etc. that we have probably just been enabling something we had no idea was going on and that both are probably still using. So my question to those of you who would care to answer was did your family/friends saying to you "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" and the resulting lack of money spur you on towards recovery? And did you try to BS your relatives/friends by telling them you were in some form of recovery when you weren't? This has really made our Christmas, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 343
I think you posted in the wrong section if you are asking on behalf of an addict but yourself have not been through this type of experience situation yourself before. You will need to go on the Family and friends section to look for answers. I can only tell you one thing each individual even an addict is different so unfortunately what worked for one person might not for the other.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 676
Originally Posted by Branches 
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I usally post over in the alcohol section, but my hubby and I had an interesting Christmas. My SIL and BIL, we thought, were past users of opium. Because we've been spending more time with SIL trying to help her get a few issues in her life straightened out, including why she wants to stay married to a verbally and emotionally abusive man, we've had the light gradually dawn on us through her admissions and just our own general observations that
1) BIL is smoking opium again or still, and the man is already unable to work due to lupus and some other health concerns.
2) SIL has been taking xanax three times a day and painkillers for her back problem AND going to the methadone clinic once a day.
I did a little internet research which revealed that it is highly unlikely that her current M.D. would be giving an admitted methadone user xanax to deal with anxiety or keep refilling painkiller scrips, so I'm thinking that she's not honest with her M.D.
3) SIL just about nodded out at Christmas breakfast and couldn't swallow her food and just wanted to be taken home. Hubby really freaked out and tried to tell her later that it was time for her to consider rehab. She half-heartedly agreed and said maybe she could quit the xanax on her own.
In a later conversation with her this evening, my SIL tells me that yes, her doctor, who she claims is a neurologist AND addiction specialist, knows that she's on methadone and gives her the scrip for xanax and Flexeril. I call BS. That would violate some medical principles according to my Web research.
Hubby and I don't know what to believe and have come to the conclusion that by helping out financially a little here and there for groceries, etc. that we have probably just been enabling something we had no idea was going on and that both are probably still using. So my question to those of you who would care to answer was did your family/friends saying to you "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" and the resulting lack of money spur you on towards recovery? And did you try to BS your relatives/friends by telling them you were in some form of recovery when you weren't? This has really made our Christmas, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for listening.
I usally post over in the alcohol section, but my hubby and I had an interesting Christmas. My SIL and BIL, we thought, were past users of opium. Because we've been spending more time with SIL trying to help her get a few issues in her life straightened out, including why she wants to stay married to a verbally and emotionally abusive man, we've had the light gradually dawn on us through her admissions and just our own general observations that
1) BIL is smoking opium again or still, and the man is already unable to work due to lupus and some other health concerns.
2) SIL has been taking xanax three times a day and painkillers for her back problem AND going to the methadone clinic once a day.
I did a little internet research which revealed that it is highly unlikely that her current M.D. would be giving an admitted methadone user xanax to deal with anxiety or keep refilling painkiller scrips, so I'm thinking that she's not honest with her M.D.
3) SIL just about nodded out at Christmas breakfast and couldn't swallow her food and just wanted to be taken home. Hubby really freaked out and tried to tell her later that it was time for her to consider rehab. She half-heartedly agreed and said maybe she could quit the xanax on her own.
In a later conversation with her this evening, my SIL tells me that yes, her doctor, who she claims is a neurologist AND addiction specialist, knows that she's on methadone and gives her the scrip for xanax and Flexeril. I call BS. That would violate some medical principles according to my Web research.
Hubby and I don't know what to believe and have come to the conclusion that by helping out financially a little here and there for groceries, etc. that we have probably just been enabling something we had no idea was going on and that both are probably still using. So my question to those of you who would care to answer was did your family/friends saying to you "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" and the resulting lack of money spur you on towards recovery? And did you try to BS your relatives/friends by telling them you were in some form of recovery when you weren't? This has really made our Christmas, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for listening.
Bottom line is. Yea. She needs rehab. If she could not even swallow her food she is flirting with overdose in my non medically backed opinion.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 168
My sister's boyfriend can get so messed up he's almost falling asleep. It's kind of sad, and embarrassing to watch.
Back in April, I was caught planning my suicide attempt, and so I ended up taking some time off work and went into recovery. My dad was helpful enough that when my bills started piling up, he lent me money to help me stay afloat (to the owing amount now of $1600). Even though he really couldn't afford it, he did. Did I appreciate it enough to stay clean? Of course not; I've relapsed twice since then. I would use his money towards bills, and take from my money for my DOC.
Do they have children? If not, I would let them go eat at the soup kitchen. It may sound harsh, but it might be the reality check they need.
Back in April, I was caught planning my suicide attempt, and so I ended up taking some time off work and went into recovery. My dad was helpful enough that when my bills started piling up, he lent me money to help me stay afloat (to the owing amount now of $1600). Even though he really couldn't afford it, he did. Did I appreciate it enough to stay clean? Of course not; I've relapsed twice since then. I would use his money towards bills, and take from my money for my DOC.
Do they have children? If not, I would let them go eat at the soup kitchen. It may sound harsh, but it might be the reality check they need.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Hi branches! Sorry you have found yourself in this situation. I can only speak for myself, Sidney is correct that each individual is different. My father used to send quite a bit of money to help out with what he thought to be my "living expenses". Unfortunately, he had unwittingly become my number one enabler. Every last Penney he sent went to fund my growing pain pill addiction. I little birdie(daughter) enlightened him one day and he cut me off completely. That did help to jump-start my recovery. No money=no pills. Because I did not have the ability to purchase as many pills as I had before, I began WD earlier in the week instead of making it to pay day. I became so tired of being sick and tired.
To be honest with you it was not my reason to seek recovery. The potential loss of my family (hubby was walking out of the door with my 3 lovely children) was but it did contribute to my recovery. It gave me a couple days of clarity and very uncomfortable withdrawals each week to ponder wether getting so sick every week to continue this BS is really worth it. It did have an effect on me.
About the Xanax. There are doctors that prescribe Xanax to their methadone patients. I knew of one in my IOP. It's not advisable, but if the patient has severe panic attacks or is in the process of tapering off the med, it could be possible. My doctor prescribed Xanax to me in the beginning of my Suboxone maintenance program because I was already on it and to discontinue suddenly could cause seizures. I guess, it's better to find out from her doctor (reliable source) instead of an Internet search to prove she is lying. Each individual patient is different. I do not think its against the law for a physician to prescribe that combination under certain circumstances. Of course she most certainly could be lying. We all know addicts lie.
Good luck to you and I hope more is revealed to you. If she is indeed using than I think your boundary of "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" is a good one.
To be honest with you it was not my reason to seek recovery. The potential loss of my family (hubby was walking out of the door with my 3 lovely children) was but it did contribute to my recovery. It gave me a couple days of clarity and very uncomfortable withdrawals each week to ponder wether getting so sick every week to continue this BS is really worth it. It did have an effect on me.
About the Xanax. There are doctors that prescribe Xanax to their methadone patients. I knew of one in my IOP. It's not advisable, but if the patient has severe panic attacks or is in the process of tapering off the med, it could be possible. My doctor prescribed Xanax to me in the beginning of my Suboxone maintenance program because I was already on it and to discontinue suddenly could cause seizures. I guess, it's better to find out from her doctor (reliable source) instead of an Internet search to prove she is lying. Each individual patient is different. I do not think its against the law for a physician to prescribe that combination under certain circumstances. Of course she most certainly could be lying. We all know addicts lie.
Good luck to you and I hope more is revealed to you. If she is indeed using than I think your boundary of "I love you but no more financial help til you are in recovery" is a good one.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 326
Thank you to all who responded.
I agree my post was more directed to friends and family of users, but I kind of wanted to hear some straight answers from recovering users.
To CleanLi, I did read that sometmes doctors will do as you posted and prescribe xanax for a limited time to someone in circumstances such as yours with a gradual transfer/weaning from Xanax over to antidepressants to cope with anxiety.
Thanks again to all of you for your input - I appreciate the honesty and salute you in your recovery. You're very brave.
I agree my post was more directed to friends and family of users, but I kind of wanted to hear some straight answers from recovering users.
To CleanLi, I did read that sometmes doctors will do as you posted and prescribe xanax for a limited time to someone in circumstances such as yours with a gradual transfer/weaning from Xanax over to antidepressants to cope with anxiety.
Thanks again to all of you for your input - I appreciate the honesty and salute you in your recovery. You're very brave.
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