Applying the steps/principles in everyday life..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Living the Solution
Posts: 1
Applying the steps/principles in everyday life..
Hey all, I'm new to the forums but have been lurking for a few weeks but decided to join tonight.
So I feel... stuck. I'm 18 years old and got sober at 17 and my whole life I've had everything handed to me, and now that I'm sober it's happening more and it's bugging me. I've become complacent with it and I have the desire to start changing and building some work ethic, but I've become very comfortable in my easy mode bubble and I feel stuck. At 15-16 years old I dropped out of high school and until I got out of rehab and started working some steps my dad never brought it up, now it's on my mind and I want to get my GED (maybe I don't? I don't know!) and I can't break my sloth funk...
When I pray for willingness I'll study and take some practice tests online and get into the zone, and as soon as I get into that zone I get spiritually complacent and it stops.
I have been sober for ten months but I feel like I'm not where I should be and I'm looking for insight! If it wasn't 1AM I'd talk to my sponsor about it... Maybe that's an excuse but any advice is appreciated.
I don't know if the thread title fits this topic but it's what came to mind. :P
So I feel... stuck. I'm 18 years old and got sober at 17 and my whole life I've had everything handed to me, and now that I'm sober it's happening more and it's bugging me. I've become complacent with it and I have the desire to start changing and building some work ethic, but I've become very comfortable in my easy mode bubble and I feel stuck. At 15-16 years old I dropped out of high school and until I got out of rehab and started working some steps my dad never brought it up, now it's on my mind and I want to get my GED (maybe I don't? I don't know!) and I can't break my sloth funk...
When I pray for willingness I'll study and take some practice tests online and get into the zone, and as soon as I get into that zone I get spiritually complacent and it stops.
I have been sober for ten months but I feel like I'm not where I should be and I'm looking for insight! If it wasn't 1AM I'd talk to my sponsor about it... Maybe that's an excuse but any advice is appreciated.
I don't know if the thread title fits this topic but it's what came to mind. :P
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Welcome to the group. 
Maybe take a break from trying to figure out your plan and get busy at your local fellowship?
Maybe there are some guys your age that need your help?
You could go and be of service. Look for someone to help.
Maybe take a break from trying to figure out your plan and get busy at your local fellowship?
Maybe there are some guys your age that need your help?
You could go and be of service. Look for someone to help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Perhaps you're like me, just naturally lazy? Kidding...
More likely you've been busy with your recovery this year and are now feeling the impulse to rejoin life, head a good direction and are antsy to begin to make your way. You can feel frozen in place until you decide on your path and begin.
Best example for you I can think of is my son, who got sober 10 years ago at 20. He chose a profession that fascinated him, got his GED (because drinking he didn't do school), got the court stuff filed away and began a 2 year college then completed another 2yrs University level for his degree, he then went to grad school for his doctorate. Because he's a sharp guy like you he did amazingly well at school. The key was he wanted to get to where he is today, so his goal was always there. He stayed active in AA through that as he knew his dreams were contingent on staying sober. Still are.
What's the coolest 3 things you've seen anyone doing for their occupation but knew that could never in a million years happen for you? You've then narrowed it down to 3. Pick the most practical one of the 3, as that's always the most spiritual.
More likely you've been busy with your recovery this year and are now feeling the impulse to rejoin life, head a good direction and are antsy to begin to make your way. You can feel frozen in place until you decide on your path and begin.
Best example for you I can think of is my son, who got sober 10 years ago at 20. He chose a profession that fascinated him, got his GED (because drinking he didn't do school), got the court stuff filed away and began a 2 year college then completed another 2yrs University level for his degree, he then went to grad school for his doctorate. Because he's a sharp guy like you he did amazingly well at school. The key was he wanted to get to where he is today, so his goal was always there. He stayed active in AA through that as he knew his dreams were contingent on staying sober. Still are.
What's the coolest 3 things you've seen anyone doing for their occupation but knew that could never in a million years happen for you? You've then narrowed it down to 3. Pick the most practical one of the 3, as that's always the most spiritual.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Welcome. I also got sober when I was 17. My first six months all I did was not drink and go to meetings. Then, I made some decisions on what I wanted to do with my life. First on the list was getting my GED.
I got that and was working in a paint store for a few months and decided I didn't want to spend my life working in a store. It was there I set some goals for myself with my sponsor. Top on the list was education. It took a couple of years of part time classes before I got into college full time. It was the first time I had to work HARD to get something I wanted. I got to know a lot of intelligent, helpfull, knowledgeable people who were eager to help and tutor me to make it through school.
I also got involved with AA, made a whole new social circle with people who didn't drink. Believe me, we did everything except drink and had a lot of fun doing it. When people told me that I was lucky to clean up my act so young, I would just say 'yup'. They were right.
I'm in my 50's now and.not drinking hasn't cost me a thing nor have I missed out on anything life has to offer. Getting drunk or high is temporary, living life to the fullest is forever.
I got that and was working in a paint store for a few months and decided I didn't want to spend my life working in a store. It was there I set some goals for myself with my sponsor. Top on the list was education. It took a couple of years of part time classes before I got into college full time. It was the first time I had to work HARD to get something I wanted. I got to know a lot of intelligent, helpfull, knowledgeable people who were eager to help and tutor me to make it through school.
I also got involved with AA, made a whole new social circle with people who didn't drink. Believe me, we did everything except drink and had a lot of fun doing it. When people told me that I was lucky to clean up my act so young, I would just say 'yup'. They were right.
I'm in my 50's now and.not drinking hasn't cost me a thing nor have I missed out on anything life has to offer. Getting drunk or high is temporary, living life to the fullest is forever.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
When all else fails........working with others gets me away from my excessive concentration on "self "........
That, for me, can take the form of being useful to someone other than another alcoholic..
Along with the practice of prayer and meditation, i find, the more i practice the more ease and comfort i feel... but for me that takes discipline but im getting there slowly....detachment from results is one area where i seem to see great improvements.
Where are u with the work/steps ??.......
That, for me, can take the form of being useful to someone other than another alcoholic..
Along with the practice of prayer and meditation, i find, the more i practice the more ease and comfort i feel... but for me that takes discipline but im getting there slowly....detachment from results is one area where i seem to see great improvements.
Where are u with the work/steps ??.......
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Black,
The desire to change is awesome..... but it doesn't usually come for free like the compulsion to drink being removed was for me. A lot of the "change" has required effort, vigilance, and doing what I don't necessarily want to do......
You may feel slothful but here's the good news, your feelings aren't necessarily the truth. Unless you think God made a mistake with you, He made you perfect. You may feel slothful and you may be acting slothfully......but you're not slothful. That means, it's a decision...that you can make or unmake to act slothfully or not.
Don't feel bad though....I think most of us have similar issues with laziness and self-centered thinking/feeling. The whole "working with others" that Shaun posted above is a great practice ground for getting off yer butt and doing something you may not want to do at first but almost always get a pretty quick payoff for doing. With practice there....putting in the effort to make some of the other changes you discussed will come more easily.
The desire to change is awesome..... but it doesn't usually come for free like the compulsion to drink being removed was for me. A lot of the "change" has required effort, vigilance, and doing what I don't necessarily want to do......
You may feel slothful but here's the good news, your feelings aren't necessarily the truth. Unless you think God made a mistake with you, He made you perfect. You may feel slothful and you may be acting slothfully......but you're not slothful. That means, it's a decision...that you can make or unmake to act slothfully or not.
Don't feel bad though....I think most of us have similar issues with laziness and self-centered thinking/feeling. The whole "working with others" that Shaun posted above is a great practice ground for getting off yer butt and doing something you may not want to do at first but almost always get a pretty quick payoff for doing. With practice there....putting in the effort to make some of the other changes you discussed will come more easily.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Blacklisted 
When I pray for willingness I'll study and take some practice tests online and get into the zone, and as soon as I get into that zone I get spiritually complacent and it stops.
I have been sober for ten months but I feel like I'm not where I should be and I'm looking for insight! If it wasn't 1AM I'd talk to my sponsor about it... Maybe that's an excuse but any advice is appreciated.
I have been sober for ten months but I feel like I'm not where I should be and I'm looking for insight! If it wasn't 1AM I'd talk to my sponsor about it... Maybe that's an excuse but any advice is appreciated.
So I know about myself when in the *I can do this zone* I can often so get going with all my dreams and wants so at my command kinda thing based on my earlier successes get so ahead of myself that i become more interested in being the dreamer then in bringing it all home and making it a reality in my real day to day life.
What the hell did I just say? lol.
Thinking and doing are not the same thing is what I'm saying.
When I over think whatever I often also talk myself outta the very thing i was so on fire for and when that happens i know for sure my ego is playing me like a fiddle. And the reverse I can start and not finish -- or even i can start and realize i'm just being ego-centric and best to stop ASAP and begin some damage control.
I myself don't accept that spiritual complacency really is something that exists. I'm more for once spiritualism has been experienced we are either moving forward or moving backward, but that we're just hanging around waiting for the next epiphany, not so much.
We may not want to face we're moving backward spiritually as our practical lives move forward, but I can say that looks can often be deceiving, and ego is not something to play with even though we all love to play with our egos.
So if your not where you think you should be, then by all means don't be where you are, okay? Throw away that "should be" thing of course, and look for something to hang your dearest hopes on and steer for those stars ASAP. Check yourself as often as needed (ego-centric dreaming) and do whatever it takes to get back on course. Even though the sea may look presently calm within your limits of vision, there is always always something coming your way from behind you, and from ahead of you too, you know, so be prepared either way, and its all good (can be) has been my sober experiences.
Congrats on your 10 months!
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by DayTrader
Black,
The desire to change is awesome..... but it doesn't usually come for free like the compulsion to drink being removed was for me. A lot of the "change" has required effort, vigilance, and doing what I don't necessarily want to do......
The desire to change is awesome..... but it doesn't usually come for free like the compulsion to drink being removed was for me. A lot of the "change" has required effort, vigilance, and doing what I don't necessarily want to do......
I can no longer use diligence to directly manage my life. That may sound strange to normies living in the material world but now that I have "been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence" my old set of tools is hopelessly broken.
I used to use willpower and pure determination to bulldoze over life's obstacles. A method I always associated with diligence. Now I must take a wait-and-see position and patiently watch for opportunities to come my way. Then, and only then, can I assert myself on the situation at hand. I now see where this is closer to vigilance.
If I charge in too early with my own way of doing it, it almost always causes more harm than good. I can no longer DIRECTLY manage any aspect of my life (specially sobriety) using forceful tactics.
The bad news is, I am but a pawn in the big game of life. The good news is, there is a grand-master directing my moves for me. Vigilance is the key. Sometimes it is best to wait while some other pieces move before I do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Sometimes it is best to wait while some other pieces move before I do.
Maybe this is where we develop a six sense.....to intuitively know what gods desire is in any given situation ..?..deep down i know this to be true for me .
Some situations in my sobriety have turned out perfect and its normally when i have very little to do with it...as hard as that is, ..over time, ive learnt to step back..let the plan unfold without my "intervention".......taken a while, a good while .
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