Working in a place were drinking is the norm
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Working in a place were drinking is the norm
Hi,
I work in a small company and drinking is considered as the thing to do, even by the bosses. Few glasses of wine during lunch, no problem. Coming in late for work still looking green, it happens! Calling in sick because you can't get up, ok but don't let it happen too often. Parties or events with the company, you just gotta have some...preferably lots! See what I mean?
Most of my co-workers start the week telling stories about how drunk/sick/hungover they got during the weekend...and how much "fun" they had. I think more than one has exactly the same problem I do, or is headed in that direction (just my opinion).
I've had my share and I know how they must feel very well (cranky-sleepy-finding it hard to focus- can't wait for the day to be over...), so I'm thinking I can use their stories, from now on, as fuel for my sobriety in some way, until hopefully one day they'll draw their own conclusions??
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this? Would appreciate it!
Andi
I work in a small company and drinking is considered as the thing to do, even by the bosses. Few glasses of wine during lunch, no problem. Coming in late for work still looking green, it happens! Calling in sick because you can't get up, ok but don't let it happen too often. Parties or events with the company, you just gotta have some...preferably lots! See what I mean?
Most of my co-workers start the week telling stories about how drunk/sick/hungover they got during the weekend...and how much "fun" they had. I think more than one has exactly the same problem I do, or is headed in that direction (just my opinion).
I've had my share and I know how they must feel very well (cranky-sleepy-finding it hard to focus- can't wait for the day to be over...), so I'm thinking I can use their stories, from now on, as fuel for my sobriety in some way, until hopefully one day they'll draw their own conclusions??
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this? Would appreciate it!
Andi
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I had a job in my 20s and the partying was the norm. Also the hung over at work was normal too. I tried to sober up back then, but was unable to do so. I can't blame it on the place though because I know today it wouldn't prevent me from sobering up now. I am now ready to do the necessary work to stay sober and back then I was not.
If you can't switch jobs then do whatever you need to in order to hang on to your sober lifestyle. I agree that seeing and being in that environment now would help energize my determination to remain sober. Those people I worked with 20 years ago aren't drinking now and if they are then they are fighting the same battle. A body cannot withstand that kind of lifestyle for long.
If you can't switch jobs then do whatever you need to in order to hang on to your sober lifestyle. I agree that seeing and being in that environment now would help energize my determination to remain sober. Those people I worked with 20 years ago aren't drinking now and if they are then they are fighting the same battle. A body cannot withstand that kind of lifestyle for long.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 33
Unfortunately we're not the majority...
Originally Posted by Andi 
Hi,
I work in a small company and drinking is considered as the thing to do, even by the bosses. Few glasses of wine during lunch, no problem. Coming in late for work still looking green, it happens! Calling in sick because you can't get up, ok but don't let it happen too often. Parties or events with the company, you just gotta have some...preferably lots! See what I mean?
Most of my co-workers start the week telling stories about how drunk/sick/hungover they got during the weekend...and how much "fun" they had. I think more than one has exactly the same problem I do, or is headed in that direction (just my opinion).
I've had my share and I know how they must feel very well (cranky-sleepy-finding it hard to focus- can't wait for the day to be over...), so I'm thinking I can use their stories, from now on, as fuel for my sobriety in some way, until hopefully one day they'll draw their own conclusions??
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this? Would appreciate it!
Andi
I work in a small company and drinking is considered as the thing to do, even by the bosses. Few glasses of wine during lunch, no problem. Coming in late for work still looking green, it happens! Calling in sick because you can't get up, ok but don't let it happen too often. Parties or events with the company, you just gotta have some...preferably lots! See what I mean?
Most of my co-workers start the week telling stories about how drunk/sick/hungover they got during the weekend...and how much "fun" they had. I think more than one has exactly the same problem I do, or is headed in that direction (just my opinion).
I've had my share and I know how they must feel very well (cranky-sleepy-finding it hard to focus- can't wait for the day to be over...), so I'm thinking I can use their stories, from now on, as fuel for my sobriety in some way, until hopefully one day they'll draw their own conclusions??
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this? Would appreciate it!
Andi
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Originally Posted by Andi
I've had my share and I know how they must feel very well (cranky-sleepy-finding it hard to focus- can't wait for the day to be over...), so I'm thinking I can use their stories, from now on, as fuel for my sobriety in some way, until hopefully one day they'll draw their own conclusions??
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this?
Does anyone have experiences to share on how to handle this?
I don't know if you're wondering if it's ok to use their hangovers, drinking, etc. as motivation for you to want to stay sober or if you're wondering about maybe 'showing them the light' to a life of sobriety like you've chosen?
If it's the former, I am grateful every morning that I wake up clear-headed, particularly after social events such as the superbowl, st. patrick's day, etc. so if seeing your co-workers reinforces your resolve to not want to live like that, I'd say, whatever works and helps you. I wouldn't use this as the only thing to keep me sober, but that's me.
If you're hoping that you might be able to help them change their ways, I'd advise against it - nobody wants or will really get sober until they want to. If we're truly focusing on our own sobriety, we won't have time (nor should we) to be concerned with trying to change someone else.
My apologies if I misread your question. I do think working in this environment while trying to build a foundation for a life in recovery will be challenging - not impossible I suppose - but it will require some real due diligence, particularly if there is peer pressure to join in the regular festivities that seem to not only be tolerated, but encouraged.
Look forward to hearing how it goes, Andi. Take care.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
OMG Andi, Ugh!!!! I worked briefly at a place where the dispatcher drank so much on his down time that he had the shakes all day at work. The girl that I worked closely with was in and out of the bathroom, running out of the office to run "errands" and would take naps in the conference room or back of the office because of her hangovers. She'd also show up to work hungover and she wreaked of alcohol.
I was still in rehab at the time, part of the program was to start working before they "graduated" you from rehabilitation and I would get back "home" (my rehab) and report to my counselor on the day's events with those two.
Watching them made me grateful that I wasn't there any more, at least the suffering part. Other employees in the office made disparaging remarks in regards to their behavior. The girl was horrible. At one point she asked if she could live with me (Eeeeeek!!!!!!!!) because she couldn't afford her place any more, her electric I know for a fact was shut off on her...........NO WAY!!!!! Of course she'd invite me to go party with her as well. She was also a mental wreck, again, glad I wasn't there any more.
That job didn't last long. I quit while I was still in rehab so I could go find ANOTHER job because as well as the girl was a mess, she also constantly was yelling, attacking, rude, had no boundaries and was just off the wall. I just refused to subject myself to that any longer.
I wish you the best, I would think seeking a different place of employment might be better for you???? I don't know that I could have continued there. That girl was also supposed to be quitting and every week she'd show up and say "I'm going to be here another week." I couldn't wait any longer. What a mess!!! LOL!!!
I was still in rehab at the time, part of the program was to start working before they "graduated" you from rehabilitation and I would get back "home" (my rehab) and report to my counselor on the day's events with those two.
Watching them made me grateful that I wasn't there any more, at least the suffering part. Other employees in the office made disparaging remarks in regards to their behavior. The girl was horrible. At one point she asked if she could live with me (Eeeeeek!!!!!!!!) because she couldn't afford her place any more, her electric I know for a fact was shut off on her...........NO WAY!!!!! Of course she'd invite me to go party with her as well. She was also a mental wreck, again, glad I wasn't there any more.
That job didn't last long. I quit while I was still in rehab so I could go find ANOTHER job because as well as the girl was a mess, she also constantly was yelling, attacking, rude, had no boundaries and was just off the wall. I just refused to subject myself to that any longer.
I wish you the best, I would think seeking a different place of employment might be better for you???? I don't know that I could have continued there. That girl was also supposed to be quitting and every week she'd show up and say "I'm going to be here another week." I couldn't wait any longer. What a mess!!! LOL!!!
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Andi, I work in a restaurant, and most of the employees drink pretty heavily. Every morning somebody comes in complaining about something, or someone calls out sick, and I know it's because they got wasted the night before. You can just tell that some people are bi***ing and moaning because they feel like crap because they got trashed and didn't sleep well and have to be at work.
One girl today was absolutely going off about her home life. "F this" and "F-ing B" that and all sorts of stuff. Then she said something to the effect of, "Sorry guys, but I'm in a mood. You're just gonna have to deal with it today."
Rather politely, I replied, "Why don't you just chill out? Instead of the 8 of us having to deal with your crap, why don't you just cool off and make things easier on everyone?"
To which she said, "Whatever. I'm still gonna talk."
My response was something along the lines of, "Do what you gotta do, but don't bring us down with you. I'm in a good mood and I plan on staying that way."
She knew I was calling her out. She was trying to throw herself a little pity party because she couldn't control her drinking and felt like crap and she wanted us all to be in her world and play her little game. Without raising my voice or being an Ahole, I let her know that wasn't going to happen.
About a half hour later, she said, "I'm cool, Chris. I'm done talking. Everything's OK."
I said, "Everything's OK if you want it to be."
Also, I used to sit down with my co-workers for beers and shots after work. Now they all see me leaving as soon as I get off. I have better things to go do with my time. And people I've drank with the last 2 years keep making little comments like, "Man, I wish I could stop drinking." "You're doing such a good job! Keep it up!" "I wish I could get off and just go home like you."
They're seeing the changes I'm making in my life, and it's got some of them thinking kinda hard about their own. Most of them don't even know I'm doing AA, they just know I'm not drinking and I'm a lot happier and have things going pretty well right now. I've planted the seeds just by my behavior. I have a feeling some of them are going to want to discuss things with me very soon, and I'm just chilling, doing my thing, and I'll be there if that day comes.
One girl today was absolutely going off about her home life. "F this" and "F-ing B" that and all sorts of stuff. Then she said something to the effect of, "Sorry guys, but I'm in a mood. You're just gonna have to deal with it today."
Rather politely, I replied, "Why don't you just chill out? Instead of the 8 of us having to deal with your crap, why don't you just cool off and make things easier on everyone?"
To which she said, "Whatever. I'm still gonna talk."
My response was something along the lines of, "Do what you gotta do, but don't bring us down with you. I'm in a good mood and I plan on staying that way."
She knew I was calling her out. She was trying to throw herself a little pity party because she couldn't control her drinking and felt like crap and she wanted us all to be in her world and play her little game. Without raising my voice or being an Ahole, I let her know that wasn't going to happen.
About a half hour later, she said, "I'm cool, Chris. I'm done talking. Everything's OK."
I said, "Everything's OK if you want it to be."
Also, I used to sit down with my co-workers for beers and shots after work. Now they all see me leaving as soon as I get off. I have better things to go do with my time. And people I've drank with the last 2 years keep making little comments like, "Man, I wish I could stop drinking." "You're doing such a good job! Keep it up!" "I wish I could get off and just go home like you."
They're seeing the changes I'm making in my life, and it's got some of them thinking kinda hard about their own. Most of them don't even know I'm doing AA, they just know I'm not drinking and I'm a lot happier and have things going pretty well right now. I've planted the seeds just by my behavior. I have a feeling some of them are going to want to discuss things with me very soon, and I'm just chilling, doing my thing, and I'll be there if that day comes.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I think working with a bunch of drunks might be a very strong reminder of where I do'nt want to go back to. Make their example one of your recovery tools and use it as a frequent reminder of the mess you are leaving behind you.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 215
I work in an office where my BOSS is usually the creator of the drinking lifestyle and one who is sloshed/hungover. He is a daily drinker. I do not drink and everyone in my office knows it. They have never asked why.
I found that the alnon/acoa materials helped me learn how to develop boundries and keep them in recovery. I also steer clear of the office happy hours. I find a reason not to go and over the last year they stopped asking. I am a loyal professional employee. Thats all they need to know.
If layoffs come my way I wouldn't be too upset. I'd rather work in a healthier environment. Its a good paying job otherwise. Bottom line is that I OWN MY RECOVERY. So I am there for professional reasons. If its a particularly 'bad' day with drunk o boss. I hit a meeting. I don't vent about it to many people. Primarily my close friends in recovery.
I pray. I know the prayer to lift the obsession/compulsion works because I hear him pour his drinks and then my attention is redirected to something work related. My stinking thinking does not take over.
Also, my recovery counselor taught me vigilant in learning and recalling the basic text of 12step program and that will carry me thru. It really does work. I remember the Four Horsemen and my last relapse.... I have to 'arm' myself. My family runs/owns several restaurants and I can't hide in a bubble. In my office job, if I have to...I take a long lunch and go see recovery people.
Oh and keep your feelers out for new job...what better time to look than when you have one?
I hope this gives you hope.
I found that the alnon/acoa materials helped me learn how to develop boundries and keep them in recovery. I also steer clear of the office happy hours. I find a reason not to go and over the last year they stopped asking. I am a loyal professional employee. Thats all they need to know.
If layoffs come my way I wouldn't be too upset. I'd rather work in a healthier environment. Its a good paying job otherwise. Bottom line is that I OWN MY RECOVERY. So I am there for professional reasons. If its a particularly 'bad' day with drunk o boss. I hit a meeting. I don't vent about it to many people. Primarily my close friends in recovery.
I pray. I know the prayer to lift the obsession/compulsion works because I hear him pour his drinks and then my attention is redirected to something work related. My stinking thinking does not take over.
Also, my recovery counselor taught me vigilant in learning and recalling the basic text of 12step program and that will carry me thru. It really does work. I remember the Four Horsemen and my last relapse.... I have to 'arm' myself. My family runs/owns several restaurants and I can't hide in a bubble. In my office job, if I have to...I take a long lunch and go see recovery people.
Oh and keep your feelers out for new job...what better time to look than when you have one?
I hope this gives you hope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: andalusia alabama
Posts: 10
hi Andi I'm Tommyg and I a recovering Alcoholic also new to this site. Had lot's of experience with Booze and drinking on the job. You see I owned a Restaurant and Bar.
Actually when I started going to AA in the Early 80's I would go to a meeting and was so Pinked Clouded that I would go back to my place and try to get the ones that i thought drink to much to come with me to AA. I did!!!! My bartender kept reminding me that was How she made a living and come to think of it you do to. When the obsession and craving left me don't really remember when probably after that ultimate plea to HP to save my life. I knew I was done with the stuff. So I continued to work in my field around booze all the time for the next 20 years. Didn't want it, but had to remember i was only one drink away from another drunk. So HP will handle those co-workers. Pray for them and ask HP to put someone across your path so that you may share your experience strength and hope with them. We all have growing pains and that's the best experience i know of.
Good luck
Peace
Tommyg
Actually when I started going to AA in the Early 80's I would go to a meeting and was so Pinked Clouded that I would go back to my place and try to get the ones that i thought drink to much to come with me to AA. I did!!!! My bartender kept reminding me that was How she made a living and come to think of it you do to. When the obsession and craving left me don't really remember when probably after that ultimate plea to HP to save my life. I knew I was done with the stuff. So I continued to work in my field around booze all the time for the next 20 years. Didn't want it, but had to remember i was only one drink away from another drunk. So HP will handle those co-workers. Pray for them and ask HP to put someone across your path so that you may share your experience strength and hope with them. We all have growing pains and that's the best experience i know of.
Good luck
Peace
Tommyg
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
While my working enviroment was not as permissive or
toxic as yours.......I did make a change to protect
my early fragile sobriety.
Less stress....less money...more regular hours...no drunks.
.....Worked out great for me.
toxic as yours.......I did make a change to protect
my early fragile sobriety.
Less stress....less money...more regular hours...no drunks.
.....Worked out great for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Hi Guys,
Just read through all you posts, thanks for your ideas an thoughts.
I'm definately going to sleep on it, but since I had some energy to do some household chores after work (thanks to being sober!!) it is time for me to get some rest on my side of the globe.
Day six is...
Just read through all you posts, thanks for your ideas an thoughts.
I'm definately going to sleep on it, but since I had some energy to do some household chores after work (thanks to being sober!!) it is time for me to get some rest on my side of the globe.
Day six is...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Hi Anna,
I'm not going to change jobs just yet, have been there 4 years now and luckily it isn't all bad. So am willing to give it a try with my newfound state of mind and see how that works out. Wish me luck!
I'm not going to change jobs just yet, have been there 4 years now and luckily it isn't all bad. So am willing to give it a try with my newfound state of mind and see how that works out. Wish me luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by Horselover
I had a job in my 20s and the partying was the norm. Also the hung over at work was normal too. I tried to sober up back then, but was unable to do so. I can't blame it on the place though because I know today it wouldn't prevent me from sobering up now. I am now ready to do the necessary work to stay sober and back then I was not.
If you can't switch jobs then do whatever you need to in order to hang on to your sober lifestyle. I agree that seeing and being in that environment now would help energize my determination to remain sober. Those people I worked with 20 years ago aren't drinking now and if they are then they are fighting the same battle. A body cannot withstand that kind of lifestyle for long.
If you can't switch jobs then do whatever you need to in order to hang on to your sober lifestyle. I agree that seeing and being in that environment now would help energize my determination to remain sober. Those people I worked with 20 years ago aren't drinking now and if they are then they are fighting the same battle. A body cannot withstand that kind of lifestyle for long.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by HumbleBee
If you're hoping that you might be able to help them change their ways, I'd advise against it - nobody wants or will really get sober until they want to. If we're truly focusing on our own sobriety, we won't have time (nor should we) to be concerned with trying to change someone else.
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