Andi, I work in a restaurant, and most of the employees drink pretty heavily. Every morning somebody comes in complaining about something, or someone calls out sick, and I know it's because they got wasted the night before. You can just tell that some people are bi***ing and moaning because they feel like crap because they got trashed and didn't sleep well and have to be at work.
One girl today was absolutely going off about her home life. "F this" and "F-ing B" that and all sorts of stuff. Then she said something to the effect of, "Sorry guys, but I'm in a mood. You're just gonna have to deal with it today."
Rather politely, I replied, "Why don't you just chill out? Instead of the 8 of us having to deal with your crap, why don't you just cool off and make things easier on everyone?"
To which she said, "Whatever. I'm still gonna talk."
My response was something along the lines of, "Do what you gotta do, but don't bring us down with you. I'm in a good mood and I plan on staying that way."
She knew I was calling her out. She was trying to throw herself a little pity party because she couldn't control her drinking and felt like crap and she wanted us all to be in her world and play her little game. Without raising my voice or being an Ahole, I let her know that wasn't going to happen.
About a half hour later, she said, "I'm cool, Chris. I'm done talking. Everything's OK."
I said, "Everything's OK if you want it to be."
Also, I used to sit down with my co-workers for beers and shots after work. Now they all see me leaving as soon as I get off. I have better things to go do with my time. And people I've drank with the last 2 years keep making little comments like, "Man, I wish I could stop drinking." "You're doing such a good job! Keep it up!" "I wish I could get off and just go home like you."
They're seeing the changes I'm making in my life, and it's got some of them thinking kinda hard about their own. Most of them don't even know I'm doing AA, they just know I'm not drinking and I'm a lot happier and have things going pretty well right now. I've planted the seeds just by my behavior. I have a feeling some of them are going to want to discuss things with me very soon, and I'm just chilling, doing my thing, and I'll be there if that day comes.