tennladybb

I am just curious. I have been browsing thru the site today, and reading others posts. I have read stories of massive amounts of money spent each day. I know I stole and lied and begged,etc, etc. I just wondered what everyone did for money to support their habit. I know working, alone, wasnt enough to pay for my habit. If you would rather not say I TOTALLY understand that. Im sure some may be more embarrassing than others, but Im just curious..

Like I said, i lied, drained my husbands bank account after stealing his debit card, i stole some more, begged, begged to be fronted, "just one more time" with no way to pay it back, and manipulated.And two different times i stole my childrens birthday money....(i will never forget how crappy that was and the mere mention of it makes me cry, im so ashamed) It was only after I got on roxies and oxy that it went wayyy downhill for me. So, if anyone cares to share, and it doesnt bother or upset you, I really am just curious..

Shellslove

I lied, cheated, stole - broke friendships and relationships that can never be repaired. I don't think I need to mention any specifics - I wouldn't want to risk triggering anyone or giving someone desperately sick and seeking help any ideas to 'stumble' upon I did things I wasn't proud of in my active addiction, BUT I'm healing, and trying to make amends where I can. I accept that I cannot right all the wrongs. All I can do is say I'm sorry, keep moving forward, improving upon myself and my recovery and giving back to others who are in the position I once was.

Peter

What i did for money is nothing I would care to discuss too much as it evokes too much negative memories and has little to do with my recovery.

Being we are mostly addicts here I don't think our methods of acquiring drug money was really that different from the next junkie.

tennladybb

Probably not, Peter. I am just curious and for me, it helps me remember what a crappy way of life that was. its good for me to remember, but i totally understand why it isnt good for you, or for anyone else that it bothers... it was a bad way of life for me, and im so happy that i beat all that,and plan to keep beating it.. I really dont mean for anyone that it bothers to answer or share..

tennladybb

And i agree with you Shell, we cant make right all the wrongs,all we can do is try to make amends and keep moving forward.... im just so so glad to not have that lifestyle anymore.. I did all those crappy things i mentioned above, but kind of like w/ds help others to NEVER go back, while i am finally sober and in my right mind, this reminds me to NEVER go back! Im so tickled that March 10th will be 60 days!! who would have thunk it!!! wooohooo

tennladybb

P.S. if you think this thread may be a trigger(which i would NOT want to happen at all) or anything like that to others, than please do remove or delete it.. I would rather die than to trigger or hurt someone on here.. I will leave that up to you guys.. I really dont want to hurt anyone..

change4penny

My pill habit was really bad. But even though I had two different doctors of my own giving me opiate scripts...120 per month each, I also got my husband's script of 120 and my mom had a script for percs, so I got some of those, so I didn't have to buy too many pills.
Now for the crack/cocaine...I was lucky enough to have a husband who made excellent money and left me with it while out of town all the time...I'd pick his checks up. He got expense money before a trip and I'd talk him out of a couple hundred dollars of that.
But, it's my parents, especially my mom, God rest her soul that I feel the most guilt about. I mean, I lied to them and stole from them, even when they second mortgaged their home, my mom gave me over $5000 and my husband knew nothing about it. When I'd need money for more crack, I'd get desperate and sell my pills at the bar I used to go to every once in a while and get $10 each for them.
But, what's crazy is I was a real con artist...I could sell water to a well if I needed to. I had several dealers, some I knew well and some...not so well. I'd somehow con these guys into fronting it to me, but, they knew I'd always pay them back...until, I didn't.
The day before I went to rehab, I had spent $100 with this new dealer I'd met and he sold me some b.s. I called him and told him it was b.s. He said, "I'll make it up and call you when I get something else better". I thought...Yeah, right.
While I was packing for rehab, the guy called and said, "hey, I got you straight". Who would have thought I'd meet an upstanding drug dealer.
And YES, I went and got it from him....and that' s the last cocaine I've smoked in 17 months.

tennladybb

Good for you on that clean time Penny!!! Like i said in our thread, you really really inspire me.. Doesnt it make you feel sooo good to not live like that?

I guess a better thread might be... What have you done with your money NOW that you are clean? trips? big ticket items? shopping?

bethie4gc

I made my money the way a girl strung-out on crack would on the streets, and made enough that I should be set for life right now, and I'll leave it at that.

Today, I make an honest and legal living (I've been at this job 2 years, the longest I've EVER been able to hold down a job) and I barely skate by. Today I make a living that I can live with, so I'm totally ok with just barely making it, because I'm doing it right and I'm doing it on my own for the first time ever.

Shellslove

I think I prefer that too Becky

And my answer would be shoes and pocket books. Lots and Lots of shoes and pocket books! oh, and my p-doc!

Paulos

I have lied yes, uhh... I did steal a few times, mostly deceit and lies that was all believe it or not. I'm not proud of it but I like to think I'm getting better from that part of my life.

Marshgirl

I lied and conned my parents for some. I usually borrowed from my own money - rent, electricity etc.

I have paid for my son to go to camp for one week and for soccer all Spring. I also got to go grocery shopping for more than just basics!!! My favorite part - having enough money to pay the bills on my own. One day at a time baby! Getting there...I am saving to take my son on vacation to Florida this summer. I wrote notes to myself and posted them all over the house about how much I will be saving and what I could buy. Eventually, I really, really want Ugg boots. For the moment, I am focused on needs and want my son wants.

bval

Hmmm ...

I was 'the guy' that knew where to get the stuff, and I had a small circle of other friends who were also strung out on the pills. So basically I pooled other people's dough, and made a few pills out of the deal. Typically this meant I did a lot of driving ... pick up money from a few places, drive to the man's place, then deliver their orders on my way home.

Part of the time, I was also making pretty good money. I also sold my condo for a nice $60K profit soon after I lost my job. So ... that's how that went.

Tiredofdrugs

Hi TennLadybb:

I have read a lot of the postings here also and wondered just how in the hell the money was acquired for all the expensive drug use. BUT!!! That's not a question that needs to be asked by any of us. That is an individual's choice of whether or not they want to divulge that information or not. What if someone's significant other or spouse happens upon this site and figures out who they are reading about? It could cause some serious problems as well as a breakup or divorce.

Asking this question, no matter how innocent it might be, isn't a good thing. It immediately sends recovering addicts or ones considering it into their thoughts of how the drugs were obtained and can hurt someone's sobriety. I would venture to guess 99.9% of us on here aren't very proud of how we got our drugs and would like to get past it and not be reminded of it. So to be blunt. Your question has put our minds back where we really don't want to be again.

I think you can use your imagination on how YOU got your drugs? It probably isn't too far from how others acquired theirs.

Sorry about having to step into my Sergeants' Boots here for a minute. But this thread really blew me away. I just can't believe someone had the ba**s to ask such a question. You might be on a high from feeling good on your subs, but be careful in the future of what you ask of people on this site. PLEASE!!! I'm on clean day 46 off the opiates. Some here are a lot newer than I am on their clean time.

Think before you post.

change4penny

Tiredofdrugs....I just have to say that you blew me away with your comment to tennlady. First of all, I don't think she had any ill intentions of hurting anyones sobriety. I've been clean for 17 months, and reading this thread and posting doesn't hurt my sobriety in any way, if anything it reminds me of where I once was, and grateful for where I am now. We can't sugarcoat the past...we did what we did.
Also, I'm really offended at the comment that she must be feeling 'high' because she's on Suboxone...what the hell kind of comment is that? YOU need to think before YOU post a comment like that.
I've been on this site for more than a year now...I've seen other threads like this started. As hard as it is sometimes to face...we ALL did things we're not proud of to obtain drugs...It's not a secret. And as they say..."Your only as sick as your secrets"

Penny

larrylive

Worked long and hard and when I woke up went back to work, sold some stuff then got another job to pay for new stuff that I sold again or forgot and just bought more drugs and when I got fired from one job I got a new job or two. During the last 15yrs I have had at least 30 jobs some career orientated and are on my resume others included delivering newspapers and pumping gas at 40yrs old with a degree in Elect. Eng. Oh and I sold my foodstamps, sshhh! Addiction sucks!!!!

tennladybb

Tired, Im sorry that you got so offended at my post, and it truly was NOT my intention to hurt or upset anyone....I agree with Penny that it reminds me of where I came from and where I am now... I even further posted that if maybe i might even in the least hurt someone that they could delete it and I suggested a new title that might be better...so, again, im sorry if I bothered or hurt you,

BUT your suggestion that I am feeling "high" on my suboxone really p**sed me off!! I in no way shape or form get "high" off of them.. In fact, I only feel like myself, the OLD me. That really was not a nice thing to imply. There are tons of sub users on here and i think more than one will take offense to that remark. I posted several times after my original post, I wanted to be sure that if it was an upsetting thread, or hurtful(again, NO way would I ever want to hurt any of the great people on here) to please delete it, and again, I suggested a new name for the thread, a new direction in case it might hurt someone... LIke I said before, I would rather die than to hurt someone, or cause them upset or ANYthing negative...that was just NOT my intent, nor was I making fun or anyone at all..

Again, Im sorry if this upset you, it was not my intention, but the same advice you gave me goes to you, Please dont have the ba**s to assume that we get "high" on subs.. It simply is not true.. i will be on day 60 on Wednesday, and I dont get high from ANYthing anymore.. I just feel normal.. im not a mean or hurtful person.. I dont want this to be a debate or an argumentative thread, i dont like those, so if the mods would prefer to delete it to cease arguments, then i will gladly start a new one with the other title...

Freedom1990

I'm going to take a giant leap here and make the assumption you are an adult, tiredofdrugs. Am I correct?

If so, you had the choice to read this thread, knowing the title, or not read it.

I've found when I have a knee-jerk reaction to someone else's words, I need to take a look at me.

There is a handy ignore feature here at SR if you don't care to read someone's postings.

We are all here to help each other. I don't know about you, but it's a life or death matter for me.

bugsmum

my two cents.....

I get what you were trying to do Becky... I believe your intent was to discuss how you feel about moving past those previous shameful behaviors and perhaps help some see that their shameful deeds are no worse than those of others. If this helps us in anyway in our recovery to move forward with processing the guilt, than so be it. It's unfortunate that it may evoke negative or unpleasant feelings in others, but that fact doesn't change the original intention. As sick as it may seem, I really do sometimes feel better knowing that I am not the only one that made such bad decisions to acquire drugs. Let's pretend a newcomer happens along this thread and based upon some horrible act they read has been commited by another, they determine that they can recover because there choices were comparable to others... maybe even less offensive. Maybe they are even inspired get clean because they read that others have too, even after making such bad decisions and displaying such bad decision making skills. Please try to remember there is always the other side of the coin.

I was also highly offended by the reference to being high on suboxone. Please educate yourself a bit more before you make such a statement, as you could cause another to stumble, whether that is your intention or not. Besides, no matter what your feelings about the subject, it is not necessary to be rude to other posters.

AlonebutHopeful

Tired of Drugs? I can't believe you had the balls to say that to Becky. Seriously, how dare you? The question she asked might have been inappropriate (although, I don't quite understand how.) But to give you the benefit of the doubt, if it was inappropriate, your response definitely was NOT appropriate. Pretty classy throwing subs in her face too.