My pill habit was really bad. But even though I had two different doctors of my own giving me opiate scripts...120 per month each, I also got my husband's script of 120 and my mom had a script for percs, so I got some of those, so I didn't have to buy too many pills.
Now for the crack/cocaine...I was lucky enough to have a husband who made excellent money and left me with it while out of town all the time...I'd pick his checks up. He got expense money before a trip and I'd talk him out of a couple hundred dollars of that.
But, it's my parents, especially my mom, God rest her soul that I feel the most guilt about. I mean, I lied to them and stole from them, even when they second mortgaged their home, my mom gave me over $5000 and my husband knew nothing about it. When I'd need money for more crack, I'd get desperate and sell my pills at the bar I used to go to every once in a while and get $10 each for them.
But, what's crazy is I was a real con artist...I could sell water to a well if I needed to. I had several dealers, some I knew well and some...not so well. I'd somehow con these guys into fronting it to me, but, they knew I'd always pay them back...until, I didn't.
The day before I went to rehab, I had spent $100 with this new dealer I'd met and he sold me some b.s. I called him and told him it was b.s. He said, "I'll make it up and call you when I get something else better". I thought...Yeah, right.
While I was packing for rehab, the guy called and said, "hey, I got you straight". Who would have thought I'd meet an upstanding drug dealer.
And YES, I went and got it from him....and that' s the last cocaine I've smoked in 17 months.