Pboy

after stopping in the bar for 2 or 3 at happy hour it turned into several hours

didn't make it to work or even call in

I have to make changes, but quiting all together doesn't seem realistic.

I'm single and get bored sitting at home alone.

TheSunAlsoRises

Well props on not driving. If your not ready to stop nothing we can say will convince you. Best of luck

Dee74

Hi again Pboy

If you're like me, not quitting altogether simply means a continuation of all the stuff you're going through now.

It took me years to get it but I realise now it's the first drink that does the damage - it sets me off irreversibly on a whole series of bad situations and even worse choices.

I hope you'll stick around and read and post some more. There's a lot of people here who've been where you are - there's a lot of experience and support here, if you want it

D

mikel60

Hey pboy,

I used to get drunk and sleep in any car that just looked like mine, until I had no car anymore. I have no idea how I never got arrested for it. Dee's right - the madness will only continue and probably get worse. Try stopping for a few nights - go to a movie, bowling, take in a ballgame, or try an AA meeting.

It's a big world out there. Our addictions only make it seem small.

Best wishes.

Mike

Sikkisirus

I too am glad you didn't actually drive the car. Best of health to you

Bard

Being single and bored is probably just excuse number 100,985,276,054 that your brain can whip up to keep you drinking. I know because I used that excuse or the longest time. But a little tip girls don't usually go for guys who slur their words while trying to hit on them. But they'll still let you buy em free drinks and laugh at your jokes before they slip away with their friends to the next bar to let more drunk guys hit on them and buy them more drinks. Lets say you were married and had children then what would be the next excuse to keep drinking?

CarolD

I wonder why you think single non drinkers sit
around at home alone and are bored?

It was exciteing to sleep in your clothes in a car?
It was fun to screw up your job?
It's going to be fantastic when you lie about this?

No need to answer my questions....just something
for you to consider.

Welcome to SR and ...I hope....reality.

Ozark

I too would like to be able to just cut back, and become the occasional and casual social drinker, However, the poster above is right......it's the first drink that is the problem.

Pboy

I'm not aware of the nomenclature of the stages of alcoholism, but I guess I'm a binge drinker. Most of the time if I stop in for a few it turns into many.

Last year I quit without a drop for 100 days just to prove to myself that I could.

There are many leaches in the bar, but after years of being a patron I've met a few good people and it would certainly be a void if I NEVER see them again.

Money is a big concern. I pay my bills and invest in a 401k but other than that every cent goes to the bar. I'm at the point where the bad aspects of drinking outweigh the good.

firestorm090

Pboy,

I recall an evening in Guam, I was in the military, and I got trashed at a bar, then laid down in the bed of my truck and passed out. When I awoke in the morn, I was soaking wet. I asked my buddy, who had slept in the cab of the truck why someone threw water all over me? He laughed, said, "Dallas, you slept through a thunder strom".:wtf2

After thirty years of trying to moderate, I've discovered it just doesn't work for this ole drunk. Maybe it will for you, but if not, now you know where we are.

anthronify

PBoy...

I hope that your brand new day of sobriety brings you some spiritual luck.

I understand those other posts that say your "judgement" about not drinking and driving was a very good thing...

I have to say this... when I drank and drived "JUDGEMENT" wasn't part of the equation... I tried being "responsible" (sarcasm intended) about being too drunk to drive...

I was in a self-serve car wash at about 2AM and a cop knocked on my window and told me to start walking home (after reviewing my insurance paper and my driver's license that proved that I lived within 15 blocks of home). I gladly started walking.

Anyway, I know (I think most of us here know...) I was sleeping behind the wheel not because of "better judgement" but because I was very drunk and very sleepy.

I hope that sober recovery starts for you soon and look forward to your updates.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Stopping for a hundred days was a great accomplishment, but did you make other changes in your life during that time? I believe that drinking is a symptom and that we have to work on the underlying problems in order to recover.

I didn't know what I would do with my life when I stopped drinking either. But, when I began to recover, I realized that the last year of my drinking had taken over my life, so that I had lost friends, hobbies, courses that I used to take.

I wish you well.

smacked

Welcome

I hope your next bad night isn't much worse than the one you just had.

Glad you didn't drive.

If you're not ready to give up the alcohol or your drinking buddies, then you're not. I remember when I thought my bar buddies were my friends, too. ha..

My bad nights got worse and worse over many years.. boy I wish I had those back.. but glad I'm not wasting my life away anymore.

least

"I'm at the point where the bad aspects of drinking outweigh the good."


When I got to this point I realized I had to stop drinking. It took me quite a while to actually stop, and I relapsed too many times, but now I have over three months sober. It can be done, but only if you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Welcome to SR!

Wolfchild

Pboy

Not really ... just had more to show for my $$$, e.g. big screen TV's, etc ...

thanks for the well wishes

jimhere

Just keep doing it 'till you can't anymore, I guess.

There is a line in the book Alcoholics Anonymous that says something like this:

"I know I must get along without liquor, but have you a sufficient substitute? I know I must get along without liquor, but am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring, and glum like some righteous people I see?"

I always mistook excitement for happiness. Always had to be somewhere else other than where I was doing something different than what I was doing. I couldn't stand my own company. I couldn't stand it when it was quiet. Everything was about having "fun."

Well, at the end of my drinking, I'd had about enough of that kind of fun. I'd had about all I could stand. I was willing to be consigned to a life of being stupid, boring, and glum if it meant that I didn't have to drink anymore.

At first, it was a bitch. My head was busy. The thoughts raced around so fast that there wasn't any space in between them. I couldn't sit still. I occupied my time with two to five meetings a day, with work, and all kinds of activity, anything for a distraction. I thought I needed a woman, so I found one in AA. That was a disaster.I thought I was lonely when I was really just horny. Then too, I suffered from the kind of loneliness that can't be remedied by sex, money, or even by sitting in AA meetings. I got where I couldn't stand being alone and I couldn't stand being in a crowd. That was when I asked for help in the form of sponsorship. I took the steps and cleared away all the garbage. One day I found myself sitting at home reading a book and it was quiet and I didn't want to be anywhere else but where I was at.

Boredom comes from sitting around thinking about yourself all the time. I can't remember the last time I was bored.

I am enjoying a quiet Sunday at home today. I was thinking about going to a noon meeting, but I think I'll go to the library instead.
Jim

Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition

IO Storm

How well I understand how you feel right now!

Knowing I could not stop drinking by will power alone, and just the thought of (never)

being able to drink again..not even one...terrified me.

And the thought of never having (fun) again terrified me....more than thinking of

the wreck my life had become.

In recovery, we learned a new way of thinking...taking it one day at a time..not forever.

You can do something for 24 hours a lot easier than thinking about (not) doing

something for years...forever.

24 hours is "doable."

In AA we found sober relationships..friends, common interests...we have a blast!

May you find a "doable" way to recover..

DonneIslanding

First, I'm glad you didn't drive.

Second, I hope you didn't lose your job.

Look, you and I have pretty similar situations. I'm also young, single, bored easily. I also used a few sick days due to hangovers at my old job. When I lived in the city, there were a couple of times I slept in my car. I'm still surprised that nothing bad (e.g. arrest, robbery, etc.) came of that.

What exactly do you want out of life? I'm by no means an "in the program" AAer, but checking out a meeting or two shouldn't hurt you (they're anonymous for a reason). It was certainly an eye-opener for me when a couple of the older folks' stories started out quite similarly to mine.

Personally, I'm determined to not let them end similarly. I hope to see you around.