bdiddy5522

After receiving a recommendation from a gal on here, I am starting this thread for everyone that wants to get and stay sober in the month of August. I am hoping that we can all come here for support and bounce things off of each other. I am also hoping we can form friendships through here as we all embark on this journey. This is very hard to do alone, as many of you already know that. So let's make this thread a good one and help each other out!

bdiddy5522

How is everyone's detox going? Anyone feel free to share! I am just really tired can't seem to focus. My chest was pounding a little bit, but that went away. My pulse did get up to about 110 for just a couple minutes, so I just sat back, took deep breaths, and prayed. I am doing much better now, just tired.

Believe808

Hi Bdiddy, It's good you started this thread, I'm sure it will help you to keep posting about how you are doing. There will be others who are going through the same thing or have gone through it and will help you. I didn't detox alone so I can't help you with that, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Be kind to yourself and yes Prayer always helps us no matter what we are going through.

Philly

Welcome bdiddy!

You have come to the right place and a thread where everyone can write about their journey really helps. I am from the July 08 thread. I did not find this site until Oct 08, but this site has really been a godsend for me. We still write in the July 08 thread and you can read or post in there anytime. Everyone is always welcomed. I was in a rehab for 8 days and then an IOP for 2 months. This site has been more of a recovery tool than either the inpatient of outpatient rehabs. Good luck and keep posting there is a wealth of knowledge on this site.

layemStr8r

Hi bd, mine was going great till today, my day 4, things didn't go exactly according to my plans.
I'm doing it alone too and it is tough, I had some stupid thoughts but I was able to extinguish them.
I'm starting to feel tired as well, still drinkin mass quants. of water and I started doing push ups and situps this morning. I'm gonna work on my 6 pack, abs that is and stay sober today!

bdiddy5522

Yeah, this feeling to detoxing is no fun! Hands shaking, headache, weak in the legs. I just want it to all go away. So mad at myself for doing this to me.

bohemianzen

i'm having a drawn out hangover (dui on saturday nite-early sunday morning) yesterday i was shaking all over and didn't eat anything but half of a cracker and drank pop all day. i had anxiety attacks last nite and couldn't sleep and went to court this morning. i hadn't ate anything today just drank pop until a little bit ago i heated up a frozen dinner with turkey and mashed potatoes...i've ate a little of that. i'm still shaky and keep having anxiety moments. it's been horrible. so i guess i can't give any advice since i'm not taking any of it-- i should be drinking water and juice and making myself eat. but right now i'm just trying to make it thru the day. tomorrow doesn't look too much better..back to work and reality.
i've made a decision to never drink again. so i'm in the aug 09 class.

Jeb18

I am also in the Aug. 09 class.

vegibean

Keep posting and reading!! Glad you all are here.

bdiddy5522

Sounds like you have had a rough few days Bohemianzen. I didn't eat at all today, but I did finally have some supper. I went to my parents lake cabin and had some steak and green beans and zucchini. It actually tasted pretty good. It is amazing what this dang poison does to our bodies. I just want to get through this detox so I can start recovery. I know all too well that the alcohol causes the anxiety. It is just an ugly cycle. Alcohol relieves the anxiety, but the anxiety feeds off of the alcohol.

Welcome everyone, and hope you all stick around while we beat that disease!

ANGELINA243

Sounds like this thread is off to a good start. Today is day 7 for me. (I am from the July 2009 class.) Don't give up--there is hope! We do recover.

bdiddy5522

Made it through day one, and it was pretty rough. But I am through it. One day at a time, right? I managed to get out and go for a walk. Had a nice cup of calming tea, and am now going to try and get some sleep. I hope all of you are well, and don't pick up that bottle! We can all do this! I made the decision tonight that I am done drinking, going to start eating healthier, and exercise. Total life transformation. Thank you to everyone on here for your support!

bdiddy5522

How are all of us "newbies" doing today?

MarsHill

Good Morning :)

Today is Day 1 for the one millionth time. I had 8 drinks last night. My head hurts. My internal organs are begging for mercy and I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever get control of this. It scares me that I might waste another year of my life drinking my evenings away because I don't have the energy to get through it on my own. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like a prisoner. Everyday I wake up determined to change and by the end of the day, a light switches inside of me and I am not the same person. I can feel the effects that the alcohol is having on my brain. I'm depressed and have no energy. Alcoholism sucks. I can't believe I'm an alcoholic, but I am. I am angry. I have allowed alcohol to steal so much from me, but yet I continue to covet it like it's a prize. It's always there waiting for me, for whatever the feeling or occassion...UGH!

I want to let it go. And as I type that sentence I feel like a hypocrite already. If I *really* wanted to let it go, wouldn't I? Isn't that the real problem? I don't *really* want to NEVER drink again. I want to be *normal* (and I use the word loosely, hoping you all know what I mean by that). I want to be able to enjoy a drink on occassion and let it end at that. It's like whenever I attempt sobriety, I go into mourning rather than celebrating the freedom that lies ahead. UGH!

Thank you for listening. I am in. For today. I really hope I stay.

Love,
Mars

bdiddy5522

Hello and welcome Mars. Glad you are here as we fight this journey together. I know exactly how you feel, what you are going through. We sound very similar. It is like we remember when drinking was just a hobby that we enjoyed once in a while, and we were fine with that. But slowly, it has gone from a hobby to a necessity. I have like you felt depressed, hopeless, no energy, etc. I have finally realized that I want my old life back, and unfortunately alcohol can not be a part of it. We are all here for you, and keep us updated on your progress. You will find much love and support here! Welcome!

Richard54

Hello everybody, I'd like to jump on board the bus here too.

We're all going through the same meat grinder here...

I quit drinking in January of this year, and made it till early July without a drop. I gotta tell you, it was wonderful.

However for the last month I've been back at the booze...
You know, it's impossible for an alcoholic to control their drinking.
I knew it, but tried anyway, and it wasn't pretty.

Yesterday, I began coughing up blood.

Not good, scares the heck out me, so here I go again.

Day 1

It's a pleasure to join you all on this journey, one day at a time.

I can tell you from the 5 months I was sober this year, that it DOES get better, much better, and I want to get back to that place.

Have a good day everybody!

MarsHill

Being an alcoholic is so lonely. No one knows that I'm an alcoholic and it baffles me. Even my family doesn't believe it. They just think I've gotten into some bad habits. To everyone on the outside, I seem like a happy, healthy woman. I think it's crazy that noone can see. Sometimes I wonder if it's because most of the world around me is full of alcoholics that just don't realize it? I want to reach out to my friends for support, but I feel like they won't believe me or think I'm weak because they just don't understand the disease. I know I'm not weak (although I feel that way because I feel so defeated) and I don't think of other alcoholics as weak. I KNOW what it's like and my heart goes out to anyone suffering through this disease. But it's just SO LONELY. I'm afraid to go to AA meetings...not because I think I'm better, but I'm just afraid. Afraid to get involved in things that are way over my head. Does that make any sense? The online support feels so much "safer" but I wonder if it's enough...any thoughts? Has anyone done this without the support of AA?

Richard54

Hi MarsHill

I went 5 months without going to AA, but this time I think I will check it out.

You know one thing I found amazing being sober?

I would dash out to the grocery store late at night to pick up ice cream before the store closed, much like I used to race to the Liquor Store.

And you know what?

There were all these people out and about that late at night, and they weren't drinking! I found it quite amazing actually.

Philly

Mars,

I have done it without AA. I am a 49 year old mother/grandmother/professional and I got very caught up in the alcohol in my 40's. I got to where I was drinking every weekend all weekend long. Last year I came to work after drinking because I could not do a 90 mile drive on a Monday morning. They smelled it and I went to a inpatient rehab for 8 days and an outpatient for 2 months. For personal reasons I did not go to AA. It would have been too much for my family. I found this site after about 2 months of being sober. This has been a life saver for me. I am a member of the July 08 class and still check in there. Everyone around me still drinks. It can be done just keep coming here because I really think you need to talk (even if it is only online) to people who are going through the same thing as you. Good luck and keep reading and posting.

I just wanted to add that I am sober just over a year. I think it also helps to know that AA is there and I would use it if I thought I needed it.

bdiddy5522

Mars, I share you same feeling about AA. I am going to try this to see if this alone is enough for me. I am hoping with this and just the mere fact of feeling good again will be enough to completely throw in the towel. I am heading to an acupuncturist today to hopefully relieve some stress and allow me to sleep tonight. I didn't get a wink last night, and am so exhausted. I hope you keep coming back, and like I have heard so many times on here, you never have to go through this feeling of detox again. This CAN be your last time!

Thanks for your sharing Richard. Your story can give us all home how great sobriety can be! I hope you stick with us.