Benson,Danita

lol.....I needed that this morning.....My coffee is k but that made my day....Thanks

Rebeccaozz

you might be an alcoholic if . . . . you cant count your marriages on one hand.

Benson,Danita

lol or if it ended badly and remarried it again

Dan

You think the nutritional information on the back of a beer can is proof that you should be able to buy it with food stamps.

Time2Surrender

Heck,I do that sober.But at least I dont put them in my mouth backwards while lit anymore.

CAPTAINZING2000

You Might Be An Alcoholic If, You Swallow Your Skoals And Spit Your Beer

GG733

Or if you smoke your cig all the way down past the filter, and it takes you more than a few seconds to realize you're burning your fingers.....

You headbutt the ATM machine because it wont give you anymore money...

You wake up with your face stuck to the mattress from the dried vomit, and you've got a load in your drawers...

You reach for your beer not paying attention and take a swig off your buddies beer bottle spitoon....

lulu70

Now I am truly sick.

You pick up the Heineken bottle off the table thinking it is yours, take a big swig, and realize it is a bong and you just drank the water........ (but you don't really care--you just wonder what this buz will be like.)

You pass out and wet your pants on your best friend leather couch, wake up, go home to change clothes, then go back to your friends house to cook breakfast with the makings for mimosa's........

Gooch

Get in an argument with a friend who pours a draft on your head, then grumbling and mumbling stagger to the parking lot, crawl into the back seat of the wrong car, pass out and your hair freezes to the fabric seats.

You wake up disheveled, smelling and blame the cat..

you measure distance by quantity


after drinking the bong water, realize that it might taste better if you just put beer in it in the first place, and then for a little variety add some cinnamin Scnappes.

you forget to unzip, soak your trousers but don't want to miss hitting on the hot babe that just walked in, sneak out the back door and do fast laps on your bike to dry them off.

You sleep walk, urinate on your cannibis plants, and then in a day or two yell at your spouse for not watering them when they start to die.

mistake the oven for the lav and try to flush by turning the range on.

oi' and the list goes on.

ChampionRabbit

If the lack of East Slovakian Climbing Lettuce in your fridge seems like a reasonable excuse to 'pop out to the shops'...

ArthurDent

Hahaaa! Oh yes. And, I need milk, but I have milk, yes but it's cow's milk, I need goat's milk... (No thought of beer in there at all).

GG733

If you walk into a club wearing stained, smelly clothes, unshaven, unbathed....for at least a week, teeth unbrushed....for God Knows how long, and you think, "Damn, I look good!". You earn extra points if, like my ol' drinking buddy, you walk out alone later muttering, "All the women in there must be lesbians!".




Double points if you're a woman in said establishment and you think, "Damn, he looks good!".

Dan

GG...
That one' s priceless

CAPTAINZING2000

You buy your boonsfarm wine with nickles, dimes and pennies


you might be an alcoholic

CAPTAINZING2000

If, you ever stepped outside a bar threw up and came back in to finish your drink

you might be an alcoholic

Thorn

You have a grid of the three local liquor stores mapped out in your brain and know exactly what time each of them opens in the morning. (Damn whay do they open so late? It's already 7:30 am!) And, you rotate buying your booze at the three, over the course of the day, because you don't want the clerks to think you're an alcoholic.

CAPTAINZING2000

true

FaeryQueen

If you dress up like a fairy for the rennaisance festival and after a bottle of English mead your wings are crooked and you start telling small children you are a bad fairy and that your fairy dust will turn them into a frog and they cry and then your friends try to make you leave but you won't leave until Conan the Barbarian agrees to show you what is under his deerskin skirt.....

you might be an alcoholic.

Benson,Danita

lol.....of course that was a friend of a friend

Benson,Danita

I was there as an onlooker of course but chasing the pirates on the prop boat and luved the water winchs