You might be an alcoholic.....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: No. VA
Posts: 167
These are hilarious.
If you get picked up for a drunk in public and tell the cop that you have had 1 drink and demand he pulls the car over and gives you a breathalyzer so you can prove that you are not drunk. And when he does you blow 3 times the leagal limit and tell him to just take you home so you can go to sleep in your own bed.
Alcohol might be a problem.
If you get picked up for a drunk in public and tell the cop that you have had 1 drink and demand he pulls the car over and gives you a breathalyzer so you can prove that you are not drunk. And when he does you blow 3 times the leagal limit and tell him to just take you home so you can go to sleep in your own bed.
Alcohol might be a problem.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
If you've ever puked out the window of a classy bed and breadfast suite, as elderly guests stare in horror.
If you've ever realized you can't remember driving home, but you know you drove.
If you've ever awakened with YOUR blood all over your face, but don't remember a thing about what happened.
If you've ever awakened with SOMEONE ELSES blood all over you, but don't remember what happened.
If there are certain bars in town where you can no longer go, and you have no idea why.
If you've ever passed out on stairs, in flowerbeds, or outside.
If you've ever stayed at work all night drinking, leaving just in time to avoid the morning cleaning staff.
If you "chug" beer when you are alone.
If the guy who cleans and fills your kegs is scared about what could happen if you run out of draft beer.
If "cutting back" seems like torture.
If you go through withdrawal when you quit drinking.
If you NEED a recovery program to help you stay sober.
If you write rambling lists of personal experiences in a thread like this, on SR.
If you go to AA everyday.....and LIKE IT!!!
You might be an alcoholic.
chip
If you've ever realized you can't remember driving home, but you know you drove.
If you've ever awakened with YOUR blood all over your face, but don't remember a thing about what happened.
If you've ever awakened with SOMEONE ELSES blood all over you, but don't remember what happened.
If there are certain bars in town where you can no longer go, and you have no idea why.
If you've ever passed out on stairs, in flowerbeds, or outside.
If you've ever stayed at work all night drinking, leaving just in time to avoid the morning cleaning staff.
If you "chug" beer when you are alone.
If the guy who cleans and fills your kegs is scared about what could happen if you run out of draft beer.
If "cutting back" seems like torture.
If you go through withdrawal when you quit drinking.
If you NEED a recovery program to help you stay sober.
If you write rambling lists of personal experiences in a thread like this, on SR.
If you go to AA everyday.....and LIKE IT!!!
You might be an alcoholic.
chip
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
you're standing in front of a cop for being pulled over for running a stop sign . Your cigarette falls from your mouth and you bend over to pick it up and the wind keeps blowing it from your grasp you might have a wee bit of a drinking problem
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
...."if you get up at 3 am and decide you need another drink get in your , uninsured car.....hit a dead animal on the highway because you have faulty headlights and drag it ten miles before the stench of rotting flesh hits you...then get stopped by the police when they later spot you pushing the car because you have run out of gas...YOU MIGHT BE AN ALCOHOLIC......"
Procrastinator
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 76
If you jump out of a car to go puke in the bushes and end up with azaleas in your hair in the morning, you might be an alcoholic.
If you take your dog for a walk around the block and get lost, you might be an alcoholic.
If the phone rings and you answer the remote, you might be an alcoholic.
If you take your dog for a walk around the block and get lost, you might be an alcoholic.
If the phone rings and you answer the remote, you might be an alcoholic.
Procrastinator
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by daisy_j
You might be an alcoholic if your trashbags clink so loud when the garbage man picks them up, it could wake the dead.
You might be an alcoholic if the garbage man always talks about coming to your house "cause you guys know how to have some fun!" (true story...)
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kansas City Missouri
Posts: 110
"You might be an alcoholic if the garbage man always talks about coming to your house "cause you guys know how to have some fun!" (true story...)"
*giggle* our garbagemen probably know more about us than our closest friends!!
*giggle* our garbagemen probably know more about us than our closest friends!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: England
Posts: 12
Some of these have actually happened to me... plus...
You become concious banging on a cell door and all the cops can say is "we want whatever you were on last night."
You black out so often your friends soon get over the novelty of writing things on your arse with a black felt tip pen.
Your local offy (liquor store) know you by name and stock your favorite brand.
The last thing you remember was the road coming up and hitting you in the face real quick, and you decided to stay there.
You have gone to wake your flat mate up at 7 o'clock to tell him to get up for work and he's sitting in the lounge watching the evening news.
- you may be an alcoholic.
You become concious banging on a cell door and all the cops can say is "we want whatever you were on last night."
You black out so often your friends soon get over the novelty of writing things on your arse with a black felt tip pen.
Your local offy (liquor store) know you by name and stock your favorite brand.
The last thing you remember was the road coming up and hitting you in the face real quick, and you decided to stay there.
You have gone to wake your flat mate up at 7 o'clock to tell him to get up for work and he's sitting in the lounge watching the evening news.
- you may be an alcoholic.
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
If you come to while driving down the street at daybreak and have no idea where the hell you are ...
Wake up after a party, not knowing when you went to bed but deciding a red wine for breaky will be a good idea ...
Wondering if you are an alcoholic might be proven by drinking on your own, so you try that out, just in case you might be ...
Wake up after a party, not knowing when you went to bed but deciding a red wine for breaky will be a good idea ...
Wondering if you are an alcoholic might be proven by drinking on your own, so you try that out, just in case you might be ...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: GEORGIA
Posts: 14
If you google BAC calculator and you have to go to 6 sites before you can find one that will calculate over 10 beverages. Then when you do and you calculate last nights intake and the thing says you should be dead.
No kidding here is the site if interested http://www.rupissed.com/#volume
I have to find some humor in this as its really scarry.
No kidding here is the site if interested http://www.rupissed.com/#volume
I have to find some humor in this as its really scarry.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 67
If you decide its a good idea to RUN home from a party after 10 drinks cause it'll get you there faster but you keep falling down. Bonus points if you wake with your sheets soaked in blood from your multiple injuries that didn't even hurt last night.
if you try to pour some food into your pets bowl and end up dumping the whole thing all over the kitchen floor. And then you just leave it for a few days till you're done with your bender.
if you try to pour some food into your pets bowl and end up dumping the whole thing all over the kitchen floor. And then you just leave it for a few days till you're done with your bender.
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