Alcohol problem = plan for sober life
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
120 days
I feel different. Things have changed and are continuing to change. Its....just different, only way to put it right now.
Ironically today I've reached 4 months sober on the same day 3 years ago I drank after achieving 60 days, which was one of the few times I tried to stop drinking with any success.
I feel different. Things have changed and are continuing to change. Its....just different, only way to put it right now.
Ironically today I've reached 4 months sober on the same day 3 years ago I drank after achieving 60 days, which was one of the few times I tried to stop drinking with any success.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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I went mtn biking today for the first time in a year. Man, I didn't realize just how much thievery alcohol had on whatever weekend warrior level of fitness I had in the past. I bought the bike over a year ago thinking it would help me quit drinking and motivate me...it didn't. I used to run competitively about 8 years ago with a high fitness level. Alcohol and injuries slowly took over....mainly alcohol preventing true rehab from otherwise nuisance recoverable injuries.
Anyways, my fitness level today was down but my fun level was up! Although it's the first time on the bike since I quit drinking, I have been hiking with the dog. So today was like the next step towards increasing cardio in a post alcohol induced living lifestyle. Felt good.
While riding I thought of this:
All the times I get upset about not being "able to hangout" cause I "cannot" drink isn't even real. Sitting in a chair on a driveway with a few pals for hours doing nothing but drinking is now a pastime. Without the alcohol variable that wouldn't be my first choice for hanging out now. I don't drink anymore. So naturally the places I go, the things I want to do, and what captures my interest have changed. I was getting down on myself trying to keep social aspects alive in a life I was also trying to leave behind. It's a new life now.
Dang, that's impressive insight. I would've payed money for that vision a while back.
Anyways, my fitness level today was down but my fun level was up! Although it's the first time on the bike since I quit drinking, I have been hiking with the dog. So today was like the next step towards increasing cardio in a post alcohol induced living lifestyle. Felt good.
While riding I thought of this:
All the times I get upset about not being "able to hangout" cause I "cannot" drink isn't even real. Sitting in a chair on a driveway with a few pals for hours doing nothing but drinking is now a pastime. Without the alcohol variable that wouldn't be my first choice for hanging out now. I don't drink anymore. So naturally the places I go, the things I want to do, and what captures my interest have changed. I was getting down on myself trying to keep social aspects alive in a life I was also trying to leave behind. It's a new life now.
Dang, that's impressive insight. I would've payed money for that vision a while back.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
Milestone moment:
Today I told someone very close to me what I've been going through. I opened up for the first time (to anyone) what a struggle this has been and the importance of what being/staying sober means to me. I have opened myself up to accountability. And you know what...that person was so proud they cried, and wanted me to share with others and to be proud of myself. I felt a huge weight lifted. Baby steps towards a new life for sure. Next up...
Today I told someone very close to me what I've been going through. I opened up for the first time (to anyone) what a struggle this has been and the importance of what being/staying sober means to me. I have opened myself up to accountability. And you know what...that person was so proud they cried, and wanted me to share with others and to be proud of myself. I felt a huge weight lifted. Baby steps towards a new life for sure. Next up...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
That's a big step Jimmy, really glad you were able to share and have a positive experience. Keep it going!
keep it up!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 365
Great story, you have basically succeeded because you did something similar to what I did although although we might have come to this conclusion through different paths. I can tell you will succeed because you don't want to drink anymore and to live that life of a slave to the bottle. You have found how much more fun and productive life is without the endless booze and hangovers and sitting around doing nothing. Very inspirational.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
6 months
There have been several milestones lately. I've accomplished things I previously only thought about with a procrastinating tone. My body feels stronger. Thoughts are lucid and I am able to reason with problems that arise. Nothing is perfect, and that is ok. But nothing is like before. I sleep, meditate, deep breathe, exercise, concentrate, set goals, stumble, get up, move forward, and one thing I've noticed has returned...is a sense of hopefulness during the day.
It's strange, the despair of self hatred is missing and replaced by a sense of feeling comfortable with myself. I am confident with my choices. I do not apologize for not drinking. I no longer loathe and mourn drinking like a long lost friend. I feel stronger each time I let someone else know drinking is not in my life anymore. It feels good to release.
It's a struggle, but well worth it so far. It ain't always sunshine and fkn rainbows, but better than the shitstorm before.
There have been several milestones lately. I've accomplished things I previously only thought about with a procrastinating tone. My body feels stronger. Thoughts are lucid and I am able to reason with problems that arise. Nothing is perfect, and that is ok. But nothing is like before. I sleep, meditate, deep breathe, exercise, concentrate, set goals, stumble, get up, move forward, and one thing I've noticed has returned...is a sense of hopefulness during the day.
It's strange, the despair of self hatred is missing and replaced by a sense of feeling comfortable with myself. I am confident with my choices. I do not apologize for not drinking. I no longer loathe and mourn drinking like a long lost friend. I feel stronger each time I let someone else know drinking is not in my life anymore. It feels good to release.
It's a struggle, but well worth it so far. It ain't always sunshine and fkn rainbows, but better than the shitstorm before.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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I had a drinking dream last night. First one in a while. Similar to most dreams, nothing seems to make sense and the timeline or setting is all mismatched.
Well, I was at a “hotel” I think and attending what I believe may have been a conference of some sort. I was sitting at a bar with some folks when I suddenly reached for a shot drinking it down before asking the bartender what it was? However, I already knew that it was Jagermeister before I even drank it so not sure why I was playing dumb asking what was in it.
The dream skipped to me sitting on a bench in the hotel lobby later that night, next to this young man who was calling his father on the phone. I could hear their conversation. The man’s father sounded genuinely happy to hear his son on the line with an energetic greeting. (At this point in the dream I somehow knew this young man had 6 months of sobriety before this evening and his father had been proud of him recently).
I can hear the father asking him how it’s going, and the kid goes on to explain how he drank tonight and “relapsed”. As he is explaining I hear the long silence and sense the disappointment in his father. I’m anxious to hear his father’s response when he finally breaks silence and says, “it’ll be ok, we will start again and continue forward”. The kid is crying. I can see the pain and realize this must’ve been a family struggle between father and son for some time now. I’m taken aback how the father responded with obvious disappointment, but yet still there to provide strength. I start thinking to myself, “this is how people are supposed to show love”.
It starts to sink in that I had been drinking as well. Then remorse takes fold as I realize I no longer have 6 months sobriety, and I now have to go back to day 1. I start to wonder who this kid is and just when I look at him…..my alarm goes off.
I awaken with a sense of relief that it was just a dream and I am still sober.
Well, I was at a “hotel” I think and attending what I believe may have been a conference of some sort. I was sitting at a bar with some folks when I suddenly reached for a shot drinking it down before asking the bartender what it was? However, I already knew that it was Jagermeister before I even drank it so not sure why I was playing dumb asking what was in it.
The dream skipped to me sitting on a bench in the hotel lobby later that night, next to this young man who was calling his father on the phone. I could hear their conversation. The man’s father sounded genuinely happy to hear his son on the line with an energetic greeting. (At this point in the dream I somehow knew this young man had 6 months of sobriety before this evening and his father had been proud of him recently).
I can hear the father asking him how it’s going, and the kid goes on to explain how he drank tonight and “relapsed”. As he is explaining I hear the long silence and sense the disappointment in his father. I’m anxious to hear his father’s response when he finally breaks silence and says, “it’ll be ok, we will start again and continue forward”. The kid is crying. I can see the pain and realize this must’ve been a family struggle between father and son for some time now. I’m taken aback how the father responded with obvious disappointment, but yet still there to provide strength. I start thinking to myself, “this is how people are supposed to show love”.
It starts to sink in that I had been drinking as well. Then remorse takes fold as I realize I no longer have 6 months sobriety, and I now have to go back to day 1. I start to wonder who this kid is and just when I look at him…..my alarm goes off.
I awaken with a sense of relief that it was just a dream and I am still sober.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Hey Jimmy- just so so happy to hear your progress! I still recall one dream I think I had right about where you are and it was terrifying. I woke up absolutely convinced I'd go into the kitchen/living area to find the detritus of a night with vodka....I had a couple "funnier" dreams after that - the kind where some things make sense (like yes, I'd been to the Master's) and others don't (no I don't have a sister with whom I used to mix Corona and champagne - wth on that part btw!)...
Curious if you have been in AA? Sorry if I missed it along the posts. And speaking of podcasts- one of my faves is Recovery Rocks and I also like Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert. He is funny and real about his recovery, and his show covers a lot of ground beyond sobriety.
Keep going!
Curious if you have been in AA? Sorry if I missed it along the posts. And speaking of podcasts- one of my faves is Recovery Rocks and I also like Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert. He is funny and real about his recovery, and his show covers a lot of ground beyond sobriety.
Keep going!
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,570
Jimmy, congratulations on successfully quitting. Sounds like you are really building a better life.
I think drinking dreams are common ... I had a few the first couple of years, and they were always weird and unsettling. But it's rare to have them now. I don't take it as an omen or a sign because, well, I just don't drink. Dreams don't change that.
I'm so glad you're experiencing hopefulness and confidence ... sounds like you're getting more comfortable in your own skin. Well done you!
I think drinking dreams are common ... I had a few the first couple of years, and they were always weird and unsettling. But it's rare to have them now. I don't take it as an omen or a sign because, well, I just don't drink. Dreams don't change that.
I'm so glad you're experiencing hopefulness and confidence ... sounds like you're getting more comfortable in your own skin. Well done you!
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