I had a drinking dream last night. First one in a while. Similar to most dreams, nothing seems to make sense and the timeline or setting is all mismatched.
Well, I was at a “hotel” I think and attending what I believe may have been a conference of some sort. I was sitting at a bar with some folks when I suddenly reached for a shot drinking it down before asking the bartender what it was? However, I already knew that it was Jagermeister before I even drank it so not sure why I was playing dumb asking what was in it.
The dream skipped to me sitting on a bench in the hotel lobby later that night, next to this young man who was calling his father on the phone. I could hear their conversation. The man’s father sounded genuinely happy to hear his son on the line with an energetic greeting. (At this point in the dream I somehow knew this young man had 6 months of sobriety before this evening and his father had been proud of him recently).
I can hear the father asking him how it’s going, and the kid goes on to explain how he drank tonight and “relapsed”. As he is explaining I hear the long silence and sense the disappointment in his father. I’m anxious to hear his father’s response when he finally breaks silence and says, “it’ll be ok, we will start again and continue forward”. The kid is crying. I can see the pain and realize this must’ve been a family struggle between father and son for some time now. I’m taken aback how the father responded with obvious disappointment, but yet still there to provide strength. I start thinking to myself, “this is how people are supposed to show love”.
It starts to sink in that I had been drinking as well. Then remorse takes fold as I realize I no longer have 6 months sobriety, and I now have to go back to day 1. I start to wonder who this kid is and just when I look at him…..my alarm goes off.
I awaken with a sense of relief that it was just a dream and I am still sober.