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Old 09-06-2018, 01:24 PM   #501 (permalink)
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I'm being tested tonight. Just heard that a friend of mine suddenly passed away within the last 48 hours.

I knew her mostly online, but I have met her and she was great. Not sure of her age, but she was younger than me. (I'm late 30s).

Feels like I've just been kicked in the throat, the news came out of nowhere.
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Old 09-06-2018, 02:41 PM   #502 (permalink)
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Oh Tyne

I'm so sorry. I think that the death of a friend is a test for any of us. Is the custom drinking or not drinking? If so, you know what the right answer is.

My thoughts are with you. Hold her in your heart. she was fortunate to have you as a friend.
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Old 09-06-2018, 10:05 PM   #503 (permalink)
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I didn't drink. It would have been a short term solution but in the long term it would have just made a bad situation even worse.

I woke up this morning and checked my messages, hoping it was a dream.
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:17 PM   #504 (permalink)
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How are you, Tyne?
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Old 09-09-2018, 10:37 PM   #505 (permalink)
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Thinking of you Tyne.

I am so sorry for your loss. Much too young.

XX
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Old 09-09-2018, 10:40 PM   #506 (permalink)
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I'm fine. Shaken and obviously upset, but I'll be good.
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Old 09-10-2018, 08:35 AM   #507 (permalink)
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oh gee...I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your friend.
yes, we can be in pain and fine at the same time.....an odd thing, that.
keep going.
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Old 09-19-2018, 07:48 AM   #508 (permalink)
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O,

You reported on the Relpase thread something your therapist said that I thought was really smart.

"it seems you've been drinking to avoid the inevitability of drinking".

Seems so many of us do that about so many things, but I think he really nailed it.

I am going to think on that a while.

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Old 09-19-2018, 03:58 PM   #509 (permalink)
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That's precisely what I've reported 2 of the last 3 times I've travelled into the abyss, so I believe it to be true. Illogical, but true. I think maybe illogical doesn't necessarily equate to not useful.
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Old 09-19-2018, 05:17 PM   #510 (permalink)
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if you believe that there is an inevitability to your future drinking, then you are saying you have lost choice.
no?
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Old 09-20-2018, 12:53 AM   #511 (permalink)
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In my experience, it is the opposite -- it is a totally screwed up way of maintaining control.

By choosing to fail, I no longer risk failure. It is not that failure was inevitable in the literal sense, but by doing that which I had sworn off but thought I might lose the battle, I took control of the failure.

Our minds are interesting places to travel.
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Old 09-20-2018, 08:40 AM   #512 (permalink)
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i understand the pre-emptive taking of control in this way.
but why not question the inevitability belief?
if it is so, it has implications.
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Old 09-20-2018, 09:22 AM   #513 (permalink)
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True. I dont drink but do this crazy stuff with things like being late on important work etc. Its strange.
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Old 09-20-2018, 10:40 AM   #514 (permalink)
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I can totally understand this feeling of "just fail, already, get it over with".

I have alternately, fought it and given in to it, over my life.
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Old 09-20-2018, 01:42 PM   #515 (permalink)
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Continued here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7016038 (One More Day Part 3)
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