lost my job not gonna drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
if starting a business on the side while coding was an option i woulda done it ions ago lol.
I did tho hear about a position locally form someone here. it sounds like coding. I'm hesitant becuase I want out of this field. But i do realize in the write environment i might happily excell at coding once again. So i'm going to scope it out. I've actually pondered working at this particular place for many years. its a bit of a commute however and i'm not certain how this will pan out.
I did tho hear about a position locally form someone here. it sounds like coding. I'm hesitant becuase I want out of this field. But i do realize in the write environment i might happily excell at coding once again. So i'm going to scope it out. I've actually pondered working at this particular place for many years. its a bit of a commute however and i'm not certain how this will pan out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I totally understand that whole line of thought in post #17, Z.
That's where I am most of the time, excited for new challenges and very wary of stepping into the same pile I did in one of my last jobs.
That's where I am most of the time, excited for new challenges and very wary of stepping into the same pile I did in one of my last jobs.
now i'm a heck of a lot more careful.
while people who REALY know me understand this. others are like wtf is wrong with you why the hesitation dont be a sissy you've done this for years just dive in come on quit yoru complaining. But those folks dont have to deal with the panic attacks and such!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
'Lo again zjw..
I write code for living as well (well, it's a big part of my job) and will be happy to be a sounding board for ya if you want to shoot me a PM. This hits *awfully* close to home for me and I'll be glad to tell you how I've dealt with this and recovery.
Take care man..
T.
I write code for living as well (well, it's a big part of my job) and will be happy to be a sounding board for ya if you want to shoot me a PM. This hits *awfully* close to home for me and I'll be glad to tell you how I've dealt with this and recovery.
Take care man..
T.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
for what its worth i'm struggling. I mean one min i'm positive and hopeful about this or that. the next min i'm feeling my worlds ruind this is hopeless and any possible solution i can invision is gonna stress me right out and cause me to get to depresed and say screw it and drink.
and there part of me thats just imaginging a drink and the relief its gonna bring me and ready to say screw it if i cant have the happy stressload i'm capable of handling easily why bother what the point maybe i should just go get a case of beer.
I know this is insane thinking and thats what gets me. My thinking is back to those early days in sobriety almost where i'm just thinking in circles and getting nowhere. i never asked for this.
one min i'm positive and upbeat the next min i'm ready to throw in the towell all the while these ups and downs are exhausting.
i'm barely sleeping i cant htink straight cause i'm exhasuted as is. i've lost 6lbs so far since this happened cause i'm either thinking so much i forget to eat or i'm sick to my stomach and cant eat.
the one thing that i can bank on is running i run daily that first day was really hard to get out there i felt so deflated. but i'm doing it anyhow cause it brings me relief and makes me feel better.
but the idea of having that jepordized as weill with a new routine / work schedule tells me screw it might as well drink then wtf is the point.
I dunno what to do.
if i can just stop worrying about it all so much I think the right thing to do is just wait and be patient the answer will surface it always does btu i'm worried i'm gonnna loose my **** before it does.
i dunno if anyone can even help i dunno.
and there part of me thats just imaginging a drink and the relief its gonna bring me and ready to say screw it if i cant have the happy stressload i'm capable of handling easily why bother what the point maybe i should just go get a case of beer.
I know this is insane thinking and thats what gets me. My thinking is back to those early days in sobriety almost where i'm just thinking in circles and getting nowhere. i never asked for this.
one min i'm positive and upbeat the next min i'm ready to throw in the towell all the while these ups and downs are exhausting.
i'm barely sleeping i cant htink straight cause i'm exhasuted as is. i've lost 6lbs so far since this happened cause i'm either thinking so much i forget to eat or i'm sick to my stomach and cant eat.
the one thing that i can bank on is running i run daily that first day was really hard to get out there i felt so deflated. but i'm doing it anyhow cause it brings me relief and makes me feel better.
but the idea of having that jepordized as weill with a new routine / work schedule tells me screw it might as well drink then wtf is the point.
I dunno what to do.
if i can just stop worrying about it all so much I think the right thing to do is just wait and be patient the answer will surface it always does btu i'm worried i'm gonnna loose my **** before it does.
i dunno if anyone can even help i dunno.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
One thing...you're working for another month, right? Then you will be eligible for unemployment. I think you're in a good position. You should be able to find something in a month, Z. Even if you don't, drinking will ruin everything.
I have to keep exercising when there is a big stress, so I would say keep doing that. It clears my mind and relieves stress like nothing else. That's usually when solutions present themselves to me.
You're going to find something.
It may not be perfect, but it isn't forever. You can handle an office. If it isn't what you want, you keep looking while the bills still get paid.
C'mon, sober warrior, you're up to the task. Look how far you've come. One thing at a time.
I have to keep exercising when there is a big stress, so I would say keep doing that. It clears my mind and relieves stress like nothing else. That's usually when solutions present themselves to me.
You're going to find something.
It may not be perfect, but it isn't forever. You can handle an office. If it isn't what you want, you keep looking while the bills still get paid.
C'mon, sober warrior, you're up to the task. Look how far you've come. One thing at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah i jsut had a freak out fest and screamed some. i don feel any better. i wanna go smash things. i' think im gonna buy a baseball bat and get it out soon. smash some stuff in the yard.
perhaps this laptop i dunno.
the one thing i dont have to worry about is money sortof. i'm gonna get paid for another month here and a few more months there after and i have a few bucks and can float us for a couple more months and yeah then theres unemployment.
but my mind is going nuts what if it snot enough what if this what if that. i jsut cant get it to stop.
thats why i wanna drink just so i can shut it down.
i know htis is awful thinking i know.
perhaps this laptop i dunno.
the one thing i dont have to worry about is money sortof. i'm gonna get paid for another month here and a few more months there after and i have a few bucks and can float us for a couple more months and yeah then theres unemployment.
but my mind is going nuts what if it snot enough what if this what if that. i jsut cant get it to stop.
thats why i wanna drink just so i can shut it down.
i know htis is awful thinking i know.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I think it's normal to be scared when you're looking at unemployment, but like Bim said, you have a month to line something else up.
I'd be focusing my energy on that rather than going Full Hulk on stuff in the yard
D
I'd be focusing my energy on that rather than going Full Hulk on stuff in the yard
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,384
I'm kind of in the same boat! I left a job after being there for 5 years mainly because the atmosphere for me was so toxic and I was so unhappy and miserable there. I mainly stayed because of the overtime and it paid the bills. I finally left the place after finding a job that paid more.
And then.......BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The new job I got fired me after one month! I thought I was doing great at this new job! The firing came without notice! They simply said I wasn't a good fit there. And I thought I was doing great! I got along with everyone! I busted my butt everyday! I got there early every day and gave it my full effort! It was heartless what they did! Be careful! There's lots of shi... companies out there!
Within one week I got lucky and found another job! I've been at this job for a week now and the people there are really good people. I like the people and this company. And it's not near as much stress as the former two jobs that I had.
But there's one problem! This new job doesn't pay that great and they don't offer much overtime, which makes your check unless you get paid a high hourly rate or are a salaried worker. And in order to support a family and not have my wife worry about this, I may have to get another higher paying job when it comes around. This is causing me great distress. And I'm really getting tired of going through all this job and money stuff!
I just want a job that's not too stressful and where I'm happy!
And then.......BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The new job I got fired me after one month! I thought I was doing great at this new job! The firing came without notice! They simply said I wasn't a good fit there. And I thought I was doing great! I got along with everyone! I busted my butt everyday! I got there early every day and gave it my full effort! It was heartless what they did! Be careful! There's lots of shi... companies out there!
Within one week I got lucky and found another job! I've been at this job for a week now and the people there are really good people. I like the people and this company. And it's not near as much stress as the former two jobs that I had.
But there's one problem! This new job doesn't pay that great and they don't offer much overtime, which makes your check unless you get paid a high hourly rate or are a salaried worker. And in order to support a family and not have my wife worry about this, I may have to get another higher paying job when it comes around. This is causing me great distress. And I'm really getting tired of going through all this job and money stuff!
I just want a job that's not too stressful and where I'm happy!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
On 1/29/18 I got laid off from my job of almost 20 years. I'm in finance, not tech and I'm well over 50 YO so my job prospects are more limited. I would gladly accept the "inconvenience" of going to an office for a decent paying job. If I get another job, I don't have any expectations that I will like my job. I simply need money to provide for my family. I would love to have the OP's "problem".
Not trying to whine here just offering my perspective on the situation since I was laid off too. On the positive side, I got laid off at 9:30am and went to a noon AA meeting the same day.
Not trying to whine here just offering my perspective on the situation since I was laid off too. On the positive side, I got laid off at 9:30am and went to a noon AA meeting the same day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by uncle holmes
I'm kind of in the same boat! I left a job after being there for 5 years mainly because the atmosphere for me was so toxic and I was so unhappy and miserable there. I mainly stayed because of the overtime and it paid the bills. I finally left the place after finding a job that paid more.
And then.......BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The new job I got fired me after one month! I thought I was doing great at this new job! The firing came without notice! They simply said I wasn't a good fit there. And I thought I was doing great! I got along with everyone! I busted my butt everyday! I got there early every day and gave it my full effort! It was heartless what they did! Be careful! There's lots of shi... companies out there!
Within one week I got lucky and found another job! I've been at this job for a week now and the people there are really good people. I like the people and this company. And it's not near as much stress as the former two jobs that I had.
But there's one problem! This new job doesn't pay that great and they don't offer much overtime, which makes your check unless you get paid a high hourly rate or are a salaried worker. And in order to support a family and not have my wife worry about this, I may have to get another higher paying job when it comes around. This is causing me great distress. And I'm really getting tired of going through all this job and money stuff!
I just want a job that's not too stressful and where I'm happy!
And then.......BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The new job I got fired me after one month! I thought I was doing great at this new job! The firing came without notice! They simply said I wasn't a good fit there. And I thought I was doing great! I got along with everyone! I busted my butt everyday! I got there early every day and gave it my full effort! It was heartless what they did! Be careful! There's lots of shi... companies out there!
Within one week I got lucky and found another job! I've been at this job for a week now and the people there are really good people. I like the people and this company. And it's not near as much stress as the former two jobs that I had.
But there's one problem! This new job doesn't pay that great and they don't offer much overtime, which makes your check unless you get paid a high hourly rate or are a salaried worker. And in order to support a family and not have my wife worry about this, I may have to get another higher paying job when it comes around. This is causing me great distress. And I'm really getting tired of going through all this job and money stuff!
I just want a job that's not too stressful and where I'm happy!
Yeah sounds famlier the good thing about all of this is I didnt like my job and felt very trapped in it as everytime i tried finding something else there just was nothing available at my pay grade. I always said it would take something like this to FORCE me into a new direction. I just have no idea what direction that is and I have to figure that out and FAST.
I totally get your issues. Its slightly on my radar what if i hate my next job too what if it doesnt pay enough what if this what if htat. But I cant quite worry about that too much yet I'm not even at that point yet.
But I do want to try and make srue the next job i big is a better fit for me. So i dont have a repeat of this last expierence.
I was at this place for 18 years I'm not getting any younger and I have 6 kids to feed.
I'm a problem solver type of person. I 'd like to throw my house on the market NOW and sell the one car I dont own outright since I dont need 3 cars. this would save me some cash. And I feel theres a good chance i'm gonna be taking a drastic paycut here.
I'm cool with it. i'd gladly go clean toilets for less money so long as my bills pare paid. But I dont wanna flip my famlies lives upside down either. I'm struggleing to find that balance. But its hard to put the puzzle together when you dont ahve all the pieces.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by AAPJ
On 1/29/18 I got laid off from my job of almost 20 years. I'm in finance, not tech and I'm well over 50 YO so my job prospects are more limited. I would gladly accept the "inconvenience" of going to an office for a decent paying job. If I get another job, I don't have any expectations that I will like my job. I simply need money to provide for my family. I would love to have the OP's "problem".
Not trying to whine here just offering my perspective on the situation since I was laid off too. On the positive side, I got laid off at 9:30am and went to a noon AA meeting the same day.
Not trying to whine here just offering my perspective on the situation since I was laid off too. On the positive side, I got laid off at 9:30am and went to a noon AA meeting the same day.
I'm 10 years younger then you. It aint so great at my age either but i totally see where your coming from as well.
Its tough tho when you compare problems to others. theres a story someone told me that a bunch of people threw all there problems in a pile and then where able to go in the pile and pick which ones they wanted they all left having picked there very same problems back out of the pile.
A friend of mine has cancer. i'll gladly take my job loss over that. I'm glad he has a job and I dont because I know he needs the insurance and such. I've even said multiple times since this happened theres a reason this happened to me and not someone else there and thats because I got big shoulders and can handle this and perhaps other people wouldnt be able to make it.
I'll survive that i know its gonan sting and suck however in the meantime.
My ups and downs on this thread are just what they are. One min i'm all upbeat about some idea i have the next min i'm all upset and in tears again. its a roller coaster.
But i started this thread because early on I started to realize my sobriety could be at stake here and that I better reach out so that people can help me screw my head back on streaight.
because while this is crap. deep down i know drinking woudl be worse. But its tough at times i'm like if this or that then screw it i'm drinking *(#*(@#*(@ and i know thats not healthy thinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
just to put it out there. I"m facning some other questions on this topic too and i'm curious what others thing.
its that whole waiting for the right solution vs just doing what you gotta do and taking any old job you think you can do.
Obviously there comes a point where the choice is removed from you. But when i was out of work before man on man did i wait for the right thing. It wasnt too hard however since like NO offers where coming and i was out of work for over a year. IN the mean time i made money any which way i could and had to get help from people tc..
In the end the right solution did surface and it worked out. or well it was a pretty good solution tho it was pretty scary to dive in.
so say your out of work and some job comes along theres like been no offers your looking at this job going ugg screw me i dont want this job its a crap job rarararara. do you just dive in and take it anyhow? just take the first thing that comes along or do you roll the dice and wait a little? maybe something better will come?
reason i say this is sometimes once your IN a job its not so easy to look for another.
Its tough i got kids to feed so i'm ready to just jump into the first dang thing that comes along and I know that might not be the wisest choice but I feel i have no options.
its that whole waiting for the right solution vs just doing what you gotta do and taking any old job you think you can do.
Obviously there comes a point where the choice is removed from you. But when i was out of work before man on man did i wait for the right thing. It wasnt too hard however since like NO offers where coming and i was out of work for over a year. IN the mean time i made money any which way i could and had to get help from people tc..
In the end the right solution did surface and it worked out. or well it was a pretty good solution tho it was pretty scary to dive in.
so say your out of work and some job comes along theres like been no offers your looking at this job going ugg screw me i dont want this job its a crap job rarararara. do you just dive in and take it anyhow? just take the first thing that comes along or do you roll the dice and wait a little? maybe something better will come?
reason i say this is sometimes once your IN a job its not so easy to look for another.
Its tough i got kids to feed so i'm ready to just jump into the first dang thing that comes along and I know that might not be the wisest choice but I feel i have no options.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
lol theres no forgetting to run i'm such an anxious twitchy person lol. I run if i have a 102 fever i run if i have horrible pain if the sun came up i go running.
its like does a bear **** in the woods? lol course im gonna run lol.
I think i'm coming around to a position of acceptance. and I'm trying to remind myself how much i hated working at that place and how something really BAD is being removed from my life and I should be happy.
Its just scary at the same time is all.
its like does a bear **** in the woods? lol course im gonna run lol.
I think i'm coming around to a position of acceptance. and I'm trying to remind myself how much i hated working at that place and how something really BAD is being removed from my life and I should be happy.
Its just scary at the same time is all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
took a good hard look at an old photo of myself in my bad days. it used to make me sad and depressed and i'd look away. this time i thought do i really wanna go back to that? ::shudder:: god no. but thats all the more reason why i need to solve this current problem PROPERLY and with a job thats a GOOD fit for me that will work within my boundaries and such so i can have a good balance in my life. Or else i worry things will become unmanageble again. Maybe is hould frame that photo and put it on my desk and everytime i'm feeling crappy about my situation i can take a look and remind myself how far i've come.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
