lost my job not gonna drink
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
But now you know.
With time maybe another angle will occur to you - or not. But it was something you were interested in.
I've tried to start up several small business ventures. It's tough!
Keep your head up. Something is going to break your way. You know what you have to do, and you are smart and capable, Z.
One day at a time. You still have a cushion.
With time maybe another angle will occur to you - or not. But it was something you were interested in.
I've tried to start up several small business ventures. It's tough!
Keep your head up. Something is going to break your way. You know what you have to do, and you are smart and capable, Z.
One day at a time. You still have a cushion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
tired of it tho bimini just tired of it. tired of fighting tired of bothering.
there might be a solution its not a total wash but its looking pretty bleek and seems out of my league at this point.
now i'm not adverse to sitting tight and revisiting the idea when conditions changed.
But if i take some full time gig somewhere i wont have time to get this ball rolling again.
I think whats best for me at this moment is to stop and take a breather. But I cant really even do that as I got people sitll calling me about this stuff and I got this interview for this job i dont even want now. I mean the upside is i have some kinda momentum going here but looks like i'm headed no friggen where.
there might be a solution its not a total wash but its looking pretty bleek and seems out of my league at this point.
now i'm not adverse to sitting tight and revisiting the idea when conditions changed.
But if i take some full time gig somewhere i wont have time to get this ball rolling again.
I think whats best for me at this moment is to stop and take a breather. But I cant really even do that as I got people sitll calling me about this stuff and I got this interview for this job i dont even want now. I mean the upside is i have some kinda momentum going here but looks like i'm headed no friggen where.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I'm in a bit of a bind I'll put it out there and get some input from others. But I have an interview now coming up for a job that paid considerably more then the last one I had. The upside its not programming so i'm glad i wont really have to do that tho its still in my field. The downside is it comes with an hour commute and given my running routine and so on. I'll barely see my family all week long and obviously be worn out and tired come the weekends. Its working at a place that is the last place on earth i wanna work well one of the last places. I know it will be the pits I worked with these folks for years and was alway so thankful i didnt work where they worked i could at least hangup the phone and go about my businiess but now I'd have to do 40 hours a week in there office with them all.
I dont wanna do it. I dont think its a healthy environment for my sanity and sobriety. But everyone around me thinks i'm the worlds biggest fool to walk away from this kinda money not to mention i have kids to feed and bills to pay minor detail.
I feel so trapped. I feel like i cant NOT take the job and I feel if i DO take the job if its offered i'll eb 12009212321 times more TRAPPED just how i felt at the last job but more then likely considerably worse in due time.
But what the heck do I do? A few of my other alcoholic friends are warning me they know my mind set there like your gonna end up offing yourself but since you wont do that to your family you'll just drink instead and then that will kill you. These are people that know me and know what makes me tick and what makes my face light up and smile. They know this will rob me of all that.
I dont feel good about it. But dont get me wrong. I'm gonna smile and nod and go into that interview and act like its the best job in the world and i wanna work there cause thats what i know how to do. But inside i'm gonna be begging they find some reason to not make me an offer. I would never purposely sabatoge it becuase I 'd feel horrible doing that but I dunno what to do.
I dont wanna do it. I dont think its a healthy environment for my sanity and sobriety. But everyone around me thinks i'm the worlds biggest fool to walk away from this kinda money not to mention i have kids to feed and bills to pay minor detail.
I feel so trapped. I feel like i cant NOT take the job and I feel if i DO take the job if its offered i'll eb 12009212321 times more TRAPPED just how i felt at the last job but more then likely considerably worse in due time.
But what the heck do I do? A few of my other alcoholic friends are warning me they know my mind set there like your gonna end up offing yourself but since you wont do that to your family you'll just drink instead and then that will kill you. These are people that know me and know what makes me tick and what makes my face light up and smile. They know this will rob me of all that.
I dont feel good about it. But dont get me wrong. I'm gonna smile and nod and go into that interview and act like its the best job in the world and i wanna work there cause thats what i know how to do. But inside i'm gonna be begging they find some reason to not make me an offer. I would never purposely sabatoge it becuase I 'd feel horrible doing that but I dunno what to do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
On a side note I was able to solve my other problem with my business ambition! so that is a go I have a bit of work now to get that pulled off. That obviously wont replace my income in the near term. but it just something i can get going to hopefully replace my income at some point.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
sitting here eating watermelon with my little one and reminding myself why somethings are more important then money. I also know however i'll get so much grief from eveyrone in my life if i walked away from a good offer. *sigh* all anyone cares about is money i swear. they could not careless about anything else.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
My opinion, for what it's worth, is to take the good paying job if they offer it to you. A lot of people aren't crazy about what they do for a living, but we've all got to make a buck. I hate working midnight's, but I do it because we've all gotta eat. Suck it up buttercup lol. And maybe it won't be as bad as you think it will be. Maybe you'll like getting out of the house and hanging out with other adults. Maybe you'll enjoy having a new challenge and learning new skills. There's only one way to find out though! I say go for it! And then buy me lots of presents with all your money 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i highly doubt i'll end up liking it or enjoy being out of the house around other adults lol. i'm pretty happy doing what i do now lol. i didnt like it when i worked in an office before dunno why i'd suddenly like it now lol.
but your right in that i gotta do what i gotta do i got kids to feed and there needs arent geting any cheaper as they get older. Is my position enviable by others yeah i'm sure but its not all its cracked up to be theres a lot more to this equation then what my take home pay will be. money doesnt really do it for me it never has. the only reason i've every bothered to do what i've done thus far is for everyone else not me. i coudlnt care less. about what i take home. i'm happy to go bag groceries and ride a bike to work or walk and keep it simple. But my wife and kids wouldnt hate me or at least I fear they would.
why i worry i'm just doing something thats gonna make me feel horrible because i'm worried bout what everyone else thinks.
i'd like to think a safe comprimise is take the job if its offered if its not my cup of tea put in notice after 2 months or something this might sound absurd to some but i just wanna be happy. and if this isnt conducive to that then i'd rahter just cut it out of my life and move to the net thing that is.
but I know once i'm in i'm in it wont be so easy to just do that. Its more likely if i get there and hate it i'm then going to be trapped much like iw as at hte last position only even worse now cause its even harder to replace a position at this pay grade.
its a very difficult decision i'm really just hoping its decided for me. IE no offer or something if its not the right setup for me.
but your right in that i gotta do what i gotta do i got kids to feed and there needs arent geting any cheaper as they get older. Is my position enviable by others yeah i'm sure but its not all its cracked up to be theres a lot more to this equation then what my take home pay will be. money doesnt really do it for me it never has. the only reason i've every bothered to do what i've done thus far is for everyone else not me. i coudlnt care less. about what i take home. i'm happy to go bag groceries and ride a bike to work or walk and keep it simple. But my wife and kids wouldnt hate me or at least I fear they would.
why i worry i'm just doing something thats gonna make me feel horrible because i'm worried bout what everyone else thinks.
i'd like to think a safe comprimise is take the job if its offered if its not my cup of tea put in notice after 2 months or something this might sound absurd to some but i just wanna be happy. and if this isnt conducive to that then i'd rahter just cut it out of my life and move to the net thing that is.
but I know once i'm in i'm in it wont be so easy to just do that. Its more likely if i get there and hate it i'm then going to be trapped much like iw as at hte last position only even worse now cause its even harder to replace a position at this pay grade.
its a very difficult decision i'm really just hoping its decided for me. IE no offer or something if its not the right setup for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I'm feeling slightly better this morning. I've done a lot of thinking and I"m gonna go i'm gonna interview and check this job out. If its what I think it is I however feel it wont be a good match for me. I might not even get an offer anyhow. But say i do. I think i'd have to turn it down. given the commute and such i'd have to give up too many things that keep me happy and sober. A lot of what i do that keeps me happy is the things I put in place to keep me smiling and sober. I dont want to jepordize this stuff or my sobriety for a paycheck. I feel that taking this job would put me on a slippery slope as i'd have to part ways with too many things that fill that void if you will that keeps me sober and all.
I've learned a lot getting sober and one is to not bite off more then i can chew. I think this job would clearly be doing just that. I also learned if i'm not sure about something dont just haul off and do it anyhow cause it always bites me in the ass but its better for me to just wait and pass on the option and always in time the right solution surfaces. I also learned that if you find things to add to your life that are adding value and makeing you feel better and keeping you off the bottle then keep them in place maybe gracefully trade one out ofr another etc.. but dont do anything too drastic or it can really throw you off kilter. I dont wanna rock my boat too much.
It is difficult as this kinda opportunity and such is tickleing my ego I wont lie. I htink its cool that a place things so highly of me and all. But I dont think I can do this. the guy that coulda done this job was around over 7 years ago and he quit drinking and doesnt wanan go back to this kinda cazyness.
So sometimes less is more. But I'm gonna go i'm gonan be open minded and polite and Im gonna meet with these folks. maybe they will surprise me and there will be a way i can make this work. My wallet sure hopes so lol. But I'm not seeing how at this juncture.
I've learned a lot getting sober and one is to not bite off more then i can chew. I think this job would clearly be doing just that. I also learned if i'm not sure about something dont just haul off and do it anyhow cause it always bites me in the ass but its better for me to just wait and pass on the option and always in time the right solution surfaces. I also learned that if you find things to add to your life that are adding value and makeing you feel better and keeping you off the bottle then keep them in place maybe gracefully trade one out ofr another etc.. but dont do anything too drastic or it can really throw you off kilter. I dont wanna rock my boat too much.
It is difficult as this kinda opportunity and such is tickleing my ego I wont lie. I htink its cool that a place things so highly of me and all. But I dont think I can do this. the guy that coulda done this job was around over 7 years ago and he quit drinking and doesnt wanan go back to this kinda cazyness.
So sometimes less is more. But I'm gonna go i'm gonan be open minded and polite and Im gonna meet with these folks. maybe they will surprise me and there will be a way i can make this work. My wallet sure hopes so lol. But I'm not seeing how at this juncture.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Good luck, Z.
I'm afraid I'm with BillieJean.
You can always keep looking and still suck it up at a less-than-perfect paycheck job. You are better suited emotionally now that you're sober. It's a lot easier to see the good side in sobriety.
I'm afraid I'm with BillieJean.
You can always keep looking and still suck it up at a less-than-perfect paycheck job. You are better suited emotionally now that you're sober. It's a lot easier to see the good side in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
What about taking the job but telling your family upfront that it will be for a limited time, while you downsize your life and get expenses low, with savings for your other venture.
If you make it clear your sobriety is on the line, and that you are unwilling to do it for more than a year, and during that year you sell the house, move into something smaller and cheaper--maybe even rent near to job--it could be win win in the end.
Break the idea for your venture into small steps with time deadlines and work on that over the year to position yourself.
I see both sides--you have a right to be happy, but you did choose to have six kids and not having any income, or really low income, might really be a disaster. Pick your time and still have a deadline for freedom.
If you make it clear your sobriety is on the line, and that you are unwilling to do it for more than a year, and during that year you sell the house, move into something smaller and cheaper--maybe even rent near to job--it could be win win in the end.
Break the idea for your venture into small steps with time deadlines and work on that over the year to position yourself.
I see both sides--you have a right to be happy, but you did choose to have six kids and not having any income, or really low income, might really be a disaster. Pick your time and still have a deadline for freedom.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
When I listen to my gut, it doesn't steer me wrong, but to live like that takes a great amount of trust.
When offered a certain job, I didn't listen to it and listened to the fear instead. I chose security over what I really in my heart wanted to do and it turned out to be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
When offered a certain job, I didn't listen to it and listened to the fear instead. I chose security over what I really in my heart wanted to do and it turned out to be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I do think that sometimes biminiblue like maybe i'm better equiped now and can handle it. but I think i'm better equiped becuase i have these other things in place in my life that help me stay positive and upbeat. I'm too afraid to remove them or drasticly cut them back. I dont think I have the energy to handle this job and all the other stuff so something will give much of it will give to be honest. I'm I'm terrified of where thats gonna leave me.
I did the math i'd be getting liek 5 hours of sleep a night to pull this job off. I cant operate on such little sleep. My thinking goes to crap i cant think clearly. I have enough problems in this regard now it would just be worse.
This is a really hard decision. But my gut tells me this isnt right for me. So I'm gonna go with it. I knwo it probably seems insane to many and maybe it is I dunno.
But i'm gonna be open about this. I might go and meet this guy and realize I can make this happen. I mean I sure hope so to be honest it would stop the bleed i got going right now thats for sure.
At the same time i've been in worse places in life and things worked out this will work out too.
I did the math i'd be getting liek 5 hours of sleep a night to pull this job off. I cant operate on such little sleep. My thinking goes to crap i cant think clearly. I have enough problems in this regard now it would just be worse.
This is a really hard decision. But my gut tells me this isnt right for me. So I'm gonna go with it. I knwo it probably seems insane to many and maybe it is I dunno.
But i'm gonna be open about this. I might go and meet this guy and realize I can make this happen. I mean I sure hope so to be honest it would stop the bleed i got going right now thats for sure.
At the same time i've been in worse places in life and things worked out this will work out too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
What about taking the job but telling your family upfront that it will be for a limited time, while you downsize your life and get expenses low, with savings for your other venture.
If you make it clear your sobriety is on the line, and that you are unwilling to do it for more than a year, and during that year you sell the house, move into something smaller and cheaper--maybe even rent near to job--it could be win win in the end.
Break the idea for your venture into small steps with time deadlines and work on that over the year to position yourself.
I see both sides--you have a right to be happy, but you did choose to have six kids and not having any income, or really low income, might really be a disaster. Pick your time and still have a deadline for freedom.
If you make it clear your sobriety is on the line, and that you are unwilling to do it for more than a year, and during that year you sell the house, move into something smaller and cheaper--maybe even rent near to job--it could be win win in the end.
Break the idea for your venture into small steps with time deadlines and work on that over the year to position yourself.
I see both sides--you have a right to be happy, but you did choose to have six kids and not having any income, or really low income, might really be a disaster. Pick your time and still have a deadline for freedom.
I think I'm playing with fire if i take this job in any compacity to be honest.
For example I worked with these very same folks at my last job. Our 2 organizations worked together. and EVERY time i had to deal with them i was raging pissed off and in an incredibly foul mood dang near uncontrollable rage etc.. I dunno that i could actguallyw ork on there side of the street. all those years I always thanked my lucky starts that i didnt work on there side of the street and only had to deal with them the little that i did.
I just dont think its a good place for me. But i'm gonna cehck it out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
well the interview went well guy i met with was super laid back and nice. It sounds like i can make this work so i'm a bit relieved. i'm gonan have to juggle my life a little and htey might need me to work some crazy hours someitmes but i dont think it will be so bad. the work load sounds like i'll be able to handle it without running to the bar promptly after work so its a relief there too.
So i think it will be ok. Now i just gotta sit here and hope it gets offered. I think it will tho. I guess i'll find out on monday or so.
So i think it will be ok. Now i just gotta sit here and hope it gets offered. I think it will tho. I guess i'll find out on monday or so.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
