zjw

for anyone who cares. My situation is really the same. My possible job options will more then likely come at a considerable paycut and I'll just have to get over myself and adjust and figure out how to make it work. I'm ok with it and trying to remain positive. My family isnt tho tehy are telling me i'm selling myself short and that i'm worth more then that etc... thats nice of them but those positions they think i can get just dont exist. Or well I have not found one yet.

I'm just trying to go through the motions do what i'm suppost to do. I'm apply for job after job course many i dont want some look kinda cool and intersting tho and none pay anywehre near what i made ::shrug::.

I'm also looking into a bsuiness idea and planning that. I'm not sure why i dont have th emoney to actually do it. and I dont have any idea where i'll get the money but it gives me something to be hopeful about and makes me happy so i keep planning it.

I'm still having good times and bad times. I spent weekend really having a good time doing parades with the band and all it was great and a very nice distraction from my misery.

In between i was met with some rough lows too tho. THis morning i wanted to drink pretty damn badly but i'm pulling my head out of that funk and will just keep going about my way trying to sort it out.

Thats all i got.

2ndhandrose

(((zjw)))

I am glad you are posting. I don't have any advice but my dear departed mother used to tell me that things have a way of working themselves out. This brought me comfort, and as long as I keep moving forward, I have found this to be true.

Thinking about you

Wholesome

zjw, you still have lots of time to find "the" job. The day may come where you need to take a job that could be considered beneath you, but that day isn't today. Keep looking, be creative, and try to look at this as an opportunity rather than a set back. It's going to work out OK, I'm sure of it.

Hawkeye13

zjw, you have been a trooper about this job thing and it is so understandable that there are gonna be lots of low moments that tempt you.

like a long run, keep digging deep and moving.
you will get to the finish line and something will come up.
You aren't 'trapped' for long-term but it might take a couple of steps
to rebuild where you want to.

Don't despair and don't get stuck.
And for G's sake, don't pick up. Screw that.

biminiblue

I'm with ya.

I'm still not working, either. No nibbles for me either. I know it will happen, like they always say, "Every no gets me closer to the yes."

Hawkeye13

except in the case of a certain Hollywood producer. . . .


Bim, you'll get this and all will be well. That's just who you are girl.

zjw

Thanks. Ya know years ago someone might have told me that at a time like this and it woudl just make me angry fast forward however my dad tells me the same thing my grandmother used to tell him the same thing too and hearing it from you is comforting cuase I know its true. Your right. and I know its gonna work out.

zjw

I'd gladly take the job thats beneath me right now if it came along just so i could feel like i'm making some head way. I cleaned my chicken coop today and shoveled the crap and man it jsut doesnt phase me. I put my pants on the same way as anyone else. aint nothing beneath me.. i dont think lol I was angry too cause that whole beneath me thing is not really a big deal to me but someone else in this house made mention that there smarter then toerhs around here and theyc ant work retail i'm iek cuse me? so while shoveling the chicken crap i'm liek yha know I like this keeps me humble but heck i just like doing it keeps me grounded ya know.

I wish ic ould be the guy that runs behind the trash truck. they wanted to hire me once when i was out running. and I read about another marathon runner whos just is just that and i was liek OH hell yeah thats the job for me!!!! but they dont use those kinds of trucks here anymore and it wouldnt feed my family but if i had too do it oh man i'd do it with a smile! lol.

zjw

yep just upping our odds!!

one guy from this board told me early on in this job situation the same thing i told him when he got sober. He was all worried about all this stuff out in front of him and i told him wtf does it matter you might get hit by a bus tommorrow or you might win the lotto who knows!

i needed to hear it from him. and glad i thought of it just now.

Its true I might drop dead of a heart attack or i could win the power ball. I really dunno wtf tommorrow brings.

glad i checked back in i've been in one foul mood all darn day!

Dee74

continued best wishes you find somethiugn soon zjw

D

silentrun

You really are an inspiration Z.

Delizadee

hey zjw, I am coming in late to this thread and haven't read it all.

I had a thought for you. I struggled too with unemployment for a very long time. I am nothing more than a high school graduate with a spatter of experience in all kinds of random fields. I was out of the work force for 5 years.
I job hopped when I was working- which was a normal thing in my line of work because the industry I was in constantly poached sales people and subcontractors, all the while treating them like disposable garbage.
But it's not something that shows well on a resume.

Anyhow. I was going through one of my journals back from I think late 2015. And I had written down a list of goals that I had made.
Even though I struggled through many really bad lows, relapses and hospital stays, when I came across this list of goals not long ago, I found I had ticked off almost everything on my list. They were reasonable, attainable goals even if I didn't think I could achieve them at the time. But I put the seed of the idea in my head and eventually they came to fruition.
start with the end in mind. See yourself where you want to be and make yourself a plan. Keep at it- I know it gets discouraging after awhile, I spent, all things being added up, over a year finding real employment. Just don't give up.
yes every no is both a stepping stone, a learning lesson and an opportunity for growth.
I will never forget in the 8th grade I had a teacher who told us, if you put out 20 resumes, transcripts, whatever it may be. Shoot for putting out 10 at a time. Expect the nos, be prepared and don't be afraid to ask where you have gone wrong and what your strengths were, your weaknesses and where maybe you could improve to your interviewers.
She said, for every 9 nos, you are very likely to get that one yes. Aim for the nos! But expect and know that the yes will come if you keep at it and value your worth as an asset to a company team. Sell yourself- but don't sell yourself short.
Be excited about it and not weary! Every opportunity you get is a chance to shine- and you should because you do, you are a star.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right.
I am in sales and its intimidating and cut throat at times, and sometimes I doubt myself.
I stopped using my head as a punching bag and I just smirk and tell myself I am awesome every day. lol
The discouragement will come but don't let it win. You are awesome, you are a rock star. As long as you never give up have faith in yourself and in the universe providing, and eventually things will unfold for you. Good things are coming
I am sending you love and hugs and positive thoughts
I would tell you to hang in there but I believe you are more than hanging on. You should be proud, puff your chest out a bit and know you're a superstar and a good employer would be lucky to have an employee like you

zjw

i sit down to relax check my email oh gee theres my termination paper work to sign. gotta mail it all in etc... like ugg i cant believe this is happening to me kinda moment. not gonna lie I wanted to drink for a moment there was liek ugg damnit i want a drink.

But it passed and i wont drink. but this is crap.

I just wanna be out of this place i cant wait till my last day so i can just move forward already. and I know i dunno what the future brings but they are dragging the severence payments out too. which is prolly not a bad thing. But i just want it to be over with already. I'm sick of this damn employer well FORMER employer hanging over my head making me feel liek trash.

I just want to MOVE THE FRICK ON from these bastards. like 18 years i tolerated working in that hell hole cause i had a family to feed. now i jsut gotta tolerate some more BS for a short while longer.

No idea whats on the other side of this but Thankful there is finally another side coming into view. There is at least that. Sure hope when i can see it clearly it doesnt look so bad.

zjw

what a rough night. barely any sleep and a panic attack later here am still sober.

everyones looking at me to solve this. i feel like i got the weight of the world on my shoulders right now. and I'm buckleing big time. I've told others in my life i need help i need help only to get lip service and statements like "well i dunno what you want me to do"

My head just spins at times to the point where i question my sanity. Its scary.

And i have to smile and be nice for my kids sake and act like all is fine. But i find i'm basicly mentally absent to them lately and i feel horrible about this.

So I think today i'm not gonna job hunt. I'm not gonna work on this business plan i got going. and I"m gonna try and just be happy and play with the kids more and such.

It seems like all this job hunting and so on is just ruining me. and I dont want that either.

2ndhandrose

zjw, sometimes in the thick of things, the best thing we can do is take a step back.

I hope you can shelve everything for awhile and soak up the wonderful things in your life, the kids and such

zjw

yeah i'm trying to do that today. Trying to focus on how i'll have more time now to take care of some house projects i gotta do. and some other chores around here. I gotta rip apart an old treadmill and take it to the scrap yard i can get some money there maybe order a pizza for the kids.

I mean its not all bad. aside from being economically challenged it really is awesome otherwise.

biminiblue

Something like that notice would set me back a couple days, too.

Every day isn't gung ho. There is some grieving to do, too. I still have some unresolved emotions from my last job. Most days I'm fine about it. Some days not so much. On those "not so much" days, I know the feelings will pass - but it can throw me for a loop.

You got this.

zjw

yoru right the reality is theres ups and downs. My problem is i listen to everyones opinoino and the chatter in my head and start to think somethings wrong with me cause i'm not sitting over here going wow life is sunshine and rainbows.

I then feel bad when i take a break from job hunting to collect myself or something. Like that i'm not doing enough to solve this.

I just got hit with more news and its very possible i'm gonn have considerably less income out of this severence too now.

I took out another credit card when i got this news. its liek geeze i'm gonna be in debt up to my eyeballs now and will nuke my 401k just to eat.

I mean thank god i even have these options. Tho course then my head things well then what?... But I cant go there right now.

listening to you makes me feel normal tho Bimini thanks for posting.

biminiblue

Did you ever read any of Robby Robot's threads? One thing he said that helped me unravel all this was something about "undercurrent." It's that little voice that keeps saying, "I'm not good enough." "I'll never find my home." "I am not loved."

It's kind of like the AV of life. Like whenever some neg could show up, it does.

Religion is based on this, same with psychology. It's fighting that voice (and we all have it.)

Ignore it.

Tell it to bugger off.

I recognize it as the self-sabotaging monster (Beast) that it is and refuse to give it a foothold. I don't dally on that path, there may be a big bad wolf there. I keep moving.

I think those of us with unresolved childhood issues - and some are worse than others - may have a more active Life AV/Undercurrent after being told we're worthless or no good or having been neglected or abused, etc.

Don't engage. Bugger off. Don't let it gain a stronghold. It's a liar and a thief.

zjw

yeah your 1000 percent right bimini i read his threads too and still am in aw when i think back on those threads.

I'm feeling really good at the monent. I got done with my run sat down and was liek awe F me i cant believe this is happening to me etc..

Then I checked my email. Now i dont know if i can post a link to it so I wont. But it was about a go fund me for Reps For recovery Some women Krissy Mae Cagney doing free gym memberships and such for recovering alcholics and addicts. How this email found my mail box today is beyond me I never get email from go fund me. But i watched the vide and read the story and was in tears.

It really reminds me of how far i've come. I'm so caught up in how tough this battle is I sometimes forget how much ground i've gained so far.

I'm envious of her It must be incredibly rewarding to do what shes doing. I wish I could figure out how to do something along those lines. I"m gonna do some more research on it and possibly reach out to her.

Its worth googling it and taking a look.

It made my day to hear her story and such. Im smiling again and feeling ok.

Its gonna get sketchy in my house over hte next few months.

When my boss first laid me off he was all crying and such all choked up. Emailed me later apologizing again he was pretty broken up about it I think he took it harder then i did lol. I just told him man this is life its just how it goes sometimes nothing you can do. And its true.

Simply put its just how it goes sometimes. I dont particularly like this roller coaster but I'm on it weather I like it or not. So whatever it is what it is.