My 2nd DUI
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Mizzuno 
I think that your emotions, fears and anxiety for this situation is normal and deserves to be honored. Sometimes the wind is taken right out of our sails and it takes us a bit to get grounded again.
Your fears are valid. Your concerns are valid. It is okay to process as much or as little as you need. That is what this site is for, in all honesty.
I do know what it is like to have life come crashing down. I also know that from an outsiders perspective looking in to your life everything will be okay in time. Only in time.
Sometimes we have to go places that we don't want to go. Sometimes we have to fall a part in order to come back together again. Sometimes life hands us piles of **** and asks us to keep our heads up and we just dont know how that is possible. It is possible. You will be okay. You will be more than okay. You are doing the work and you are walking forward one step at a time.
Trust the process.
Your fears are valid. Your concerns are valid. It is okay to process as much or as little as you need. That is what this site is for, in all honesty.
I do know what it is like to have life come crashing down. I also know that from an outsiders perspective looking in to your life everything will be okay in time. Only in time.
Sometimes we have to go places that we don't want to go. Sometimes we have to fall a part in order to come back together again. Sometimes life hands us piles of **** and asks us to keep our heads up and we just dont know how that is possible. It is possible. You will be okay. You will be more than okay. You are doing the work and you are walking forward one step at a time.
Trust the process.
Thank you... I am trying my best to stick with this process. I like that saying "Sometimes the wind is taken right out of our sails and it takes us a bit to get grounded again." Because that is what I am feeling has happened to me... just waiting to feel grounded again.....
I hope I will be Ok, I want to remember how I am feeling right now for the rest of my life and never forget so when time comes to have a drink I will make a smarter choice
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Well, for me the pain of my last drunk and the consequences of it weren't enough to use as something to keep me from drinking. The pain lessens over time, and I couldn't remember it vividly enough to curb the addiction.
And that's a good thing. When I remember the times I've had terrible physical pain, it's a good thing I can't re-experience it, re-feel it at that level. The body is designed to forget such trauma.
What did work for me was a desire - born of desperation - to live differently. And it didn't take long until the positive reinforcements I get from sobriety became more appealing to me than getting drunk. Once that happened, I no longer needed to use negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is always better. Ever train a dog?
At first it was, "I have to get sober."
Now it's, "I want to be sober, b/c this way of living is so much damn better."
And that's a good thing. When I remember the times I've had terrible physical pain, it's a good thing I can't re-experience it, re-feel it at that level. The body is designed to forget such trauma.
What did work for me was a desire - born of desperation - to live differently. And it didn't take long until the positive reinforcements I get from sobriety became more appealing to me than getting drunk. Once that happened, I no longer needed to use negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is always better. Ever train a dog?
At first it was, "I have to get sober."
Now it's, "I want to be sober, b/c this way of living is so much damn better."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Ken0331
Well, for me the pain of my last drunk and the consequences of it weren't enough to use as something to keep me from drinking. The pain lessens over time, and I couldn't remember it vividly enough to curb the addiction.
And that's a good thing. When I remember the times I've had terrible physical pain, it's a good thing I can't re-experience it, re-feel it at that level. The body is designed to forget such trauma.
What did work for me was a desire - born of desperation - to live differently. And it didn't take long until the positive reinforcements I get from sobriety became more appealing to me than getting drunk. Once that happened, I no longer needed to use negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is always better. Ever train a dog?
At first it was, "I have to get sober."
Now it's, "I want to be sober, b/c this way of living is so much damn better."
And that's a good thing. When I remember the times I've had terrible physical pain, it's a good thing I can't re-experience it, re-feel it at that level. The body is designed to forget such trauma.
What did work for me was a desire - born of desperation - to live differently. And it didn't take long until the positive reinforcements I get from sobriety became more appealing to me than getting drunk. Once that happened, I no longer needed to use negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is always better. Ever train a dog?
At first it was, "I have to get sober."
Now it's, "I want to be sober, b/c this way of living is so much damn better."
That is awesome. I can't wait till I feel like I don't need liqour to have fun. I honestly do not remember what that feels like. If I knew i had an event or was going out to hang I made sure I had a bottle to predrink and have for when I came home. I will no longer do that.
Positive reinforcement is always better. I need to keep that in mind and try to stop being negative....
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Mistakes2
Thank you... I am trying my best to stick with this process. I like that saying "Sometimes the wind is taken right out of our sails and it takes us a bit to get grounded again." Because that is what I am feeling has happened to me... just waiting to feel grounded again.....
I hope I will be Ok, I want to remember how I am feeling right now for the rest of my life and never forget so when time comes to have a drink I will make a smarter choice
I hope I will be Ok, I want to remember how I am feeling right now for the rest of my life and never forget so when time comes to have a drink I will make a smarter choice
Time does have a way of making us forget or move on from the initial feelings as to why we got sober. Its important to have a group to participate in for this very reason.
Lean on your support groups until you can start walking on your own.
Make those changes and dont look back. I know you can do this. Maybe this last DUI is what was needed to really make the change necessary for you to grow in to who you are meant to be.
We are here for you.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Originally Posted by Mistakes2
I can't wait till I feel like I don't need liqour to have fun.
And enjoying sobriety didn't just happen to me one day b/c I wished for it, prayed for it, filled my life up with distractions to keep me occupied, or have Tinkerbelle sprinkle fairy dust on me.
It was a result of a lot of effort and some tough, getting-honest with-myself-and-others work.
What are your plans to get it? Because I can tell you that just "waiting" for it to happen won't bring it about.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Ken0331
Well I didn't drink to "have fun". I drank to escape a great deal of things I didn't want to face or accept.
And enjoying sobriety didn't just happen to me one day b/c I wished for it, prayed for it, filled my life up with distractions to keep me occupied, or have Tinkerbelle sprinkle fairy dust on me.
It was a result of a lot of effort and some tough, getting-honest with-myself-and-others work.
What are your plans to get it? Because I can tell you that just "waiting" for it to happen won't bring it about.
And enjoying sobriety didn't just happen to me one day b/c I wished for it, prayed for it, filled my life up with distractions to keep me occupied, or have Tinkerbelle sprinkle fairy dust on me.
It was a result of a lot of effort and some tough, getting-honest with-myself-and-others work.
What are your plans to get it? Because I can tell you that just "waiting" for it to happen won't bring it about.
Definitely not just sitting around waiting for it. I have been changing things I do everyday and the people I talk too. I will start to go to AA meetings regularly... even counseling.
I started to drink because it was fun, then it became because I had to cope with day to day struggles. I meant to say I cant wait for the day I dont feel the urge to grab a bottle to cope, its a long road ahead
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Mizzuno
Yes. All of this makes sense. You will be okay. Its true. You will be okay. There is a chance for you to turn all of this around and make your life all that you have dreamed of.
Time does have a way of making us forget or move on from the initial feelings as to why we got sober. Its important to have a group to participate in for this very reason.
Lean on your support groups until you can start walking on your own.
Make those changes and dont look back. I know you can do this. Maybe this last DUI is what was needed to really make the change necessary for you to grow in to who you are meant to be.
We are here for you.
Time does have a way of making us forget or move on from the initial feelings as to why we got sober. Its important to have a group to participate in for this very reason.
Lean on your support groups until you can start walking on your own.
Make those changes and dont look back. I know you can do this. Maybe this last DUI is what was needed to really make the change necessary for you to grow in to who you are meant to be.
We are here for you.
Thank you, I think that is what needed to happen to me to get an eye opener... I was living a dangerous game... I could finish 750ml liqour to myself in a night and wake up wanting more. ...feel very ashamed.
I will continue to reach out to my support group, to this site and people I have met at the meetings.
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
You are already showing a lot of courage in facing this without drinking as an escape. It's hard enough to do when life is otherwise going great.
I remember my DUI the day after and I wanted to somehow just leave my own body. But wherever I went there I was.
You've accepted this happened and you've accepted your accountability for it. You are taking your lumps sober, too. Now you have to accept that this is going to take time and your attention and resolve to never let it happen again. The time part is easy - there is nothing you can do to rush it along. It's a process that will take as long as it's going to take, but now you take a lot of heart in knowing that so long as you stay sober, you will overcome this and you will be okay. You will be better than okay, because once you've fulfilled all recompenses and are still sober by the end of it, you will have that much time of sobriety under your belt and (please) paved out a plan to add many, many years to it.
Sadly, many people before you have earned multiple DUIs and come out of the nightmare wiser and sober.
Keep coming here - I wish I knew about it all those years ago when I had my DUI.
I remember my DUI the day after and I wanted to somehow just leave my own body. But wherever I went there I was.
You've accepted this happened and you've accepted your accountability for it. You are taking your lumps sober, too. Now you have to accept that this is going to take time and your attention and resolve to never let it happen again. The time part is easy - there is nothing you can do to rush it along. It's a process that will take as long as it's going to take, but now you take a lot of heart in knowing that so long as you stay sober, you will overcome this and you will be okay. You will be better than okay, because once you've fulfilled all recompenses and are still sober by the end of it, you will have that much time of sobriety under your belt and (please) paved out a plan to add many, many years to it.
Sadly, many people before you have earned multiple DUIs and come out of the nightmare wiser and sober.
Keep coming here - I wish I knew about it all those years ago when I had my DUI.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 40
Dude...AA works for a lot of us!
Man, if your thinking AA? I would ask you this.
What do you have to loose?
Despite statistics and people's opinions on 12 step programs, let me drop this-
If it helps YOU, then who gives a darn what others think.
Even if it works for the time being, grab on to ANY life preserver you can, as it's your life buddy.
Also, it's physically impossible to get a DUI if you don't drink
Please, for your sake, do whatever it takes.
If you are truly as alcoholic as I, I know this. It can and will get worse until YOU arrest it.
Good luck, Man!
Dig it,
Dirk
What do you have to loose?
Despite statistics and people's opinions on 12 step programs, let me drop this-
If it helps YOU, then who gives a darn what others think.
Even if it works for the time being, grab on to ANY life preserver you can, as it's your life buddy.
Also, it's physically impossible to get a DUI if you don't drink
Please, for your sake, do whatever it takes.If you are truly as alcoholic as I, I know this. It can and will get worse until YOU arrest it.
Good luck, Man!
Dig it,
Dirk
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
I know it's hard to feel grateful right now, but with time and perspective one day you can look back at this last DUI and feel relieved that no one was hurt as a result.
It really sounds like you've hit *your* bottom and are open to doing whatever it takes to stay sober. Let us know your AA meeting went!
It really sounds like you've hit *your* bottom and are open to doing whatever it takes to stay sober. Let us know your AA meeting went!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Mistakes2
I started to drink because it was fun,.
then the giggles were gone.
then we couldnt not drink.
and alllll kinds of insanity ensued.
good on ya for your choices of getting help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by ForestFrenzy
You are already showing a lot of courage in facing this without drinking as an escape. It's hard enough to do when life is otherwise going great.
I remember my DUI the day after and I wanted to somehow just leave my own body. But wherever I went there I was.
You've accepted this happened and you've accepted your accountability for it. You are taking your lumps sober, too. Now you have to accept that this is going to take time and your attention and resolve to never let it happen again. The time part is easy - there is nothing you can do to rush it along. It's a process that will take as long as it's going to take, but now you take a lot of heart in knowing that so long as you stay sober, you will overcome this and you will be okay. You will be better than okay, because once you've fulfilled all recompenses and are still sober by the end of it, you will have that much time of sobriety under your belt and (please) paved out a plan to add many, many years to it.
Sadly, many people before you have earned multiple DUIs and come out of the nightmare wiser and sober.
Keep coming here - I wish I knew about it all those years ago when I had my DUI.
I remember my DUI the day after and I wanted to somehow just leave my own body. But wherever I went there I was.
You've accepted this happened and you've accepted your accountability for it. You are taking your lumps sober, too. Now you have to accept that this is going to take time and your attention and resolve to never let it happen again. The time part is easy - there is nothing you can do to rush it along. It's a process that will take as long as it's going to take, but now you take a lot of heart in knowing that so long as you stay sober, you will overcome this and you will be okay. You will be better than okay, because once you've fulfilled all recompenses and are still sober by the end of it, you will have that much time of sobriety under your belt and (please) paved out a plan to add many, many years to it.
Sadly, many people before you have earned multiple DUIs and come out of the nightmare wiser and sober.
Keep coming here - I wish I knew about it all those years ago when I had my DUI.
Hi,
I am still going through wanting to leave my own body because the guilt and shame hasn't left me and I just let my thoughts get the best of me. I am trying my best to turn my life around. Can't seem to stop thinking of the worst scenarios in my head.
Thank you for being positive, I wish I could be more like that. I missed a AA meeting last week but I will go this week. Baby steps I guess...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by SoberDirk
Man, if your thinking AA? I would ask you this.
What do you have to loose?
Despite statistics and people's opinions on 12 step programs, let me drop this-
If it helps YOU, then who gives a darn what others think.
Even if it works for the time being, grab on to ANY life preserver you can, as it's your life buddy.
Also, it's physically impossible to get a DUI if you don't drink Please, for your sake, do whatever it takes.
If you are truly as alcoholic as I, I know this. It can and will get worse until YOU arrest it.
Good luck, Man!
Dig it,
Dirk
What do you have to loose?
Despite statistics and people's opinions on 12 step programs, let me drop this-
If it helps YOU, then who gives a darn what others think.
Even if it works for the time being, grab on to ANY life preserver you can, as it's your life buddy.
Also, it's physically impossible to get a DUI if you don't drink
Please, for your sake, do whatever it takes.If you are truly as alcoholic as I, I know this. It can and will get worse until YOU arrest it.
Good luck, Man!
Dig it,
Dirk
Hi Dirk,
That is very very true! Not being able to get another DUI if you stop drinking!
I know I will never make this mistake ever again and I hope no one I love does. I will continue going to my AA meetings... it helps me know I am not the only one going through this...
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