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My 2nd DUI

Old 01-28-2018, 10:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Hi Mistakes. I'm glad you wanted to talk about what happened. You're in good company - we all understand.

I got a dui too - but I was much older. As you said, once you start drinking you can't stop - and I was the same. I did nothing to keep myself from destroying my life - I continued trying to control what I drank. This won't happen to you.
I agree that going to AA is a good idea - and it will show the judge that you're serious about getting help for your addiction. Stay with us - we care about you.


Hi there, thank you for the support.
I am going to my first meeting in 11 hours... I hope it is a safe place to share all of my concerns and my story...I might be too shy the first day but I am determined to make it a habit of going regularly.
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Old 01-28-2018, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by gerryc View Post
I, too, am working through a DUI (1st) in Ontario. There was no damage and nobody was hurt but it has still stung financially and convenience-wise. But...2 days after the incident, I attended my first AA meeting and haven't looked back. I have a sponsor and am, today, celebrating 31 days of sobriety. I reccommend AA! Great people, great community that "gets" where you're coming from. It's gonna be a tough time facing your 2nd DUI but taking it one day at a time is all you can do.


Hi thank you for sharing your story with me. I have my first meeting tomorrow and you are making me look forward to it! ..yes, my 2nd DUI has me very scared and I am being extremely hard on myself.
Congratulations on 31 days and more days to come!
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Old 01-28-2018, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by waynetheking View Post
This to shall pass with time. Gonna be hard for awhile. You won't have license anytime soon. Gonna be costly as well.
Here's the good news, your not facing intoxication manslaughter. That's a 20 year sentence and loss of innocent life. Perhaps your own.
Here's my advice, stop drinking. Develop a plan and work it. Do whatever takes. Just stop drinking. Don't beat yourself up over this. I bet everyone of us here has driven drunk. I should have 10 dui's on my record. I was fortunate never to have an accident or get pulled over.
Just work your way through this and don't drink. Turn this into something positive. Make a life change. The main thing is you never drink again. Life is better without it. Trust us here.


Hi, I really am trying to turn this around and thinking positive. Just very scary and hard too but one day at a time. I do love when I am completely sober and able to have a routine for the day and have a clear mind, so I dont understand why I get so drunk and make these horrible choices. I hope someone can help me and I need to look for a friend or a sponser... I just hope it is not too late for me
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Old 01-28-2018, 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Sudz No More View Post
I had it twice, it's not the end of the world. You'll get through it. One thing that might make it easier for you if you can is live where you can get mass transit. That's what I did when it happened to me and it was less stress on having to worry about transportation.


Hi there, thank you for your encouraging words. I currently live across from a Bus station... I will need my sister to help me with the routes. As for now, I am staying with my parents until I feel ready to face the world again... whenever I step outside I feel like everyone knows what I did.
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Old 01-29-2018, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
Hi there, thank you for your encouraging words. I currently live across from a Bus station... I will need my sister to help me with the routes. As for now, I am staying with my parents until I feel ready to face the world again... whenever I step outside I feel like everyone knows what I did.
Acceptance is key to your recovery. The sooner you can do that, the sooner your recovery in earnest begins. Your DUI punishment will happen soon enough, when it does, build your recovery plan around it and get on with it. Don't worry about what other people think, for all you know they have their own drink problems. As a counsellor friend of mine would say, "**** them, they aren't important, you are, be selfish and focus all your energy on you and getting you better"

Get to an AA meeting and keep your ears open and your mouth closed, listen to what the others have to say and seek out the winners. You will know who they are. Stick with them and learn. Good luck..
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Tommytom222222 View Post
Acceptance is key to your recovery. The sooner you can do that, the sooner your recovery in earnest begins. Your DUI punishment will happen soon enough, when it does, build your recovery plan around it and get on with it. Don't worry about what other people think, for all you know they have their own drink problems. As a counsellor friend of mine would say, "**** them, they aren't important, you are, be selfish and focus all your energy on you and getting you better"

Get to an AA meeting and keep your ears open and your mouth closed, listen to what the others have to say and seek out the winners. You will know who they are. Stick with them and learn. Good luck..




I am trying my hardest not to care what people think but just hurts me..how many people I have disappointed. I know the love me but still....

Thank you, I believe I am going again tomorrow. Definitely helped me feel better at the time but made me sad too.
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Old 01-30-2018, 02:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
I really need to take a step in the opposite direction because my life has been spiraling down for the past 8 years it feels like... I hope it is not too late for me.
I'm also 27. It's difficult to admit to having such a serious problem at such a "young" age, but honestly I don't feel young either. Drinking has stolen the milestones I "should" have reached by now but no it's not too late! In the big picture I guess I'd rather say I royally messed up for most of my 20s but then learned from it and got my act together by my 30s than build up to that while downplaying my addiction issues and then lose it all later in life..

Anyway just wanted to say hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself. It can seem impossible and pointless when things are so bleak but that's actually the best time to make a real change.
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Cosima11 View Post
I'm also 27. It's difficult to admit to having such a serious problem at such a "young" age, but honestly I don't feel young either. Drinking has stolen the milestones I "should" have reached by now but no it's not too late! In the big picture I guess I'd rather say I royally messed up for most of my 20s but then learned from it and got my act together by my 30s than build up to that while downplaying my addiction issues and then lose it all later in life..

Anyway just wanted to say hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself. It can seem impossible and pointless when things are so bleak but that's actually the best time to make a real change.


Hi there...
Believe me I feel like I dont know where the past 8 years of my life has went because I was literally partying and drinking every weekend of it... and now What has my life come too? My 2nd DUI and Jail...
I am glad you realized and made a change in your life, this IS my rock bottom and I am willing, wanting and needing to change.

Thank you for your encouraging words, I will try to hang in there.... Not doing so well though <\3
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:45 AM
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M2, how are you doing with drinking? Have you completely stopped now? It's been a few days - how's that going?

Support for quitting is where this forum really shines.
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
M2, how are you doing with drinking? Have you completely stopped now? It's been a few days - how's that going?

Support for quitting is where this forum really shines.


Hi...
I haven't had a drink since Friday night... so that will be 3 full days... 4 once today is done. Not planning on having a drink, too disgusted with myself.

Thank you... a lot on my plate right now
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:03 AM
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It's only too late to change your life once you're 6 feet under.

There are guys in my home group who spent a LOT more than 30 days in jail. They're sober, and enjoy life that way now, making positive contributions in the lives of others and their communities.

AA members are probably the only ones I feel safe about sharing some of my baggage with, outside the medical professionals or therapists.

27 is nothing. As mentioned, people come into AA much older, having wrecked their lives much worse. Last week one member picked up a 31 year coin. He's in his late 60's, and when he came into AA he was homeless, living in shelters in the winter and eating @ soup kitchens.

Just use this experience as your springboard to recover. You'll begin to feel better once you get some time away from the experience & find out what your consequences are. Also, I was told I'd begin to feel more self-worth once I began to do things that were worthy.
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:04 AM
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Yay! So, well done, you!

One of the things about early sobriety is the total inability to keep control of emotions - so a lot of the spinny brain, racing thoughts, and anxiety are heightened and caused by withdrawals/early sobriety right now.

I listened to instrumental classical music all day in early sobriety. I took walks outdoors and looked at Nature. I ate really nutritious food. Give yourself as much physical support as possible to regain health.

You're going to make it through this,
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Ken0331 View Post
It's only too late to change your life once you're 6 feet under.

There are guys in my home group who spent a LOT more than 30 days in jail. They're sober, and enjoy life that way now, making positive contributions in the lives of others and their communities.

AA members are probably the only ones I feel safe about sharing some of my baggage with, outside the medical professionals or therapists.

27 is nothing. As mentioned, people come into AA much older, having wrecked their lives much worse. Last week one member picked up a 31 year coin. He's in his late 60's, and when he came into AA he was homeless, living in shelters in the winter and eating @ soup kitchens.

Just use this experience as your springboard to recover. You'll begin to feel better once you get some time away from the experience & find out what your consequences are. Also, I was told I'd begin to feel more self-worth once I began to do things that were worthy.



Hi there, thanks for your response.
I just never thought my life would be like this. I thought I would be a mother or a wife by 27... I understand I could be in a way worse position and NEVER want it to get worse or this bad again.
Drinking HAS ruined my life. I dont think I can be fully happy until this is all over with and that wont be for a while so my Depression just keeps getting worse by the minute.
I will continue to seak help and guidance every single day...
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Yay! So, well done, you!

One of the things about early sobriety is the total inability to keep control of emotions - so a lot of the spinny brain, racing thoughts, and anxiety are heightened and caused by withdrawals/early sobriety right now.

I listened to instrumental classical music all day in early sobriety. I took walks outdoors and looked at Nature. I ate really nutritious food. Give yourself as much physical support as possible to regain health.

You're going to make it through this,



Thank you! I am taking it day by day...

I can think much clearer today then yesterday..which scares me though but I will be facing a lot in the next weeks to come.

I am trying different things to help me cope but my mind always seems to come back to the main problems... I think I will try taking a walk today and try to enjoy the looks smells and sounds of Nature.. wish me luck
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
Thank you! I am taking it day by day...

I can think much clearer today then yesterday..which scares me though but I will be facing a lot in the next weeks to come.

I am trying different things to help me cope but my mind always seems to come back to the main problems... I think I will try taking a walk today and try to enjoy the looks smells and sounds of Nature.. wish me luck
For me it's really important to not catastrophise. Right now I have two big life changes that are stressful and I'm trying to stay in the moment and not go into the "what ifs."

When I was in early sobriety I learned to do things that would bring me back to this moment instead of replaying past events or future tripping.

Box breathing (Google that one)
Pet a cat (or dog)
Curl my toes (don't laugh, there's science behind this)
Tapping (youtube this one, it's accupressure points/self taught)
Look at pretty pictures on the internet
Do online jigsaw puzzles
Walk walk walk walk
Listen to calming instrumental music or meditation music(youtube/pandora)

Be in this moment.

If I'm living one half second in the past or one half second in the future, I'm living in illusion and illusion is the province of fear.
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Old 01-30-2018, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
I just never thought my life would be like this. I thought I would be ...
Yeah, well many us of have lives that didn't turn out the way we wanted them to, or how we imagined they'd be. That includes regular ol' normal drinkers, too.


Acceptance helps me.

What might also help is that this event does not have to define your life. So stop letting it.


If you struggle with depression, I'd encourage seeing a therapist for help with it.
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Old 01-30-2018, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Ken0331 View Post
Yeah, well many us of have lives that didn't turn out the way we wanted them to, or how we imagined they'd be. That includes regular ol' normal drinkers, too.


Acceptance helps me.

What might also help is that this event does not have to define your life. So stop letting it.


If you struggle with depression, I'd encourage seeing a therapist for help with it.



Hi. I am speaking with some people one on one and going to try finding a therapist in my area.

I understand I am not the only one with a problem and not the worst problem in this world ... but it still hurts and hard to deal with... i am trying to accept it for what it is, just very difficult... I am sorry if I sound very self degrading
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Old 01-30-2018, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
Hi. I am speaking with some people one on one and going to try finding a therapist in my area.

I understand I am not the only one with a problem and not the worst problem in this world ... but it still hurts and hard to deal with... i am trying to accept it for what it is, just very difficult... I am sorry if I sound very self degrading
Welcome Mistakes2 to the biggest club no-one wanted to join. I too have had two DUIs. They were 20 years apart and in different states. I can sympathize with your fear and anxiety of your immediate situation. As said by others, you will get through this second arrest just like you got through the first one. It might suck to do some of the penalties but such is life. And even though you're not the only one with the problem, your problem is the only one you have to deal with.

First you have to come to terms and accept what your problem is- alcoholism. Only you know the truth about your drinking. Only alcoholics develop craving for another drink when drinking. Non-alcoholics don't crave more drinking. Once we (alcoholics) surrender to the fact we can't drink anymore, then we can work on the solution to alcoholism. And recovery plans have high success rate with us that are willing to do whatever it takes.

Good luck Mistakes, I would suggest jumping into AA with both feet. Get a sponsor ASAP and work the steps. Sobriety is truly amazing. You can have the life you have always wanted. You can be truly happy and know it in your soul.
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Old 01-30-2018, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
Hi. I am speaking with some people one on one and going to try finding a therapist in my area.

I understand I am not the only one with a problem and not the worst problem in this world ... but it still hurts and hard to deal with... i am trying to accept it for what it is, just very difficult... I am sorry if I sound very self degrading

I think that your emotions, fears and anxiety for this situation is normal and deserves to be honored. Sometimes the wind is taken right out of our sails and it takes us a bit to get grounded again.

Your fears are valid. Your concerns are valid. It is okay to process as much or as little as you need. That is what this site is for, in all honesty.

I do know what it is like to have life come crashing down. I also know that from an outsiders perspective looking in to your life everything will be okay in time. Only in time.

Sometimes we have to go places that we don't want to go. Sometimes we have to fall a part in order to come back together again. Sometimes life hands us piles of **** and asks us to keep our heads up and we just dont know how that is possible. It is possible. You will be okay. You will be more than okay. You are doing the work and you are walking forward one step at a time.

Trust the process.
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Old 01-30-2018, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Done4today View Post
Welcome Mistakes2 to the biggest club no-one wanted to join. I too have had two DUIs. They were 20 years apart and in different states. I can sympathize with your fear and anxiety of your immediate situation. As said by others, you will get through this second arrest just like you got through the first one. It might suck to do some of the penalties but such is life. And even though you're not the only one with the problem, your problem is the only one you have to deal with.

First you have to come to terms and accept what your problem is- alcoholism. Only you know the truth about your drinking. Only alcoholics develop craving for another drink when drinking. Non-alcoholics don't crave more drinking. Once we (alcoholics) surrender to the fact we can't drink anymore, then we can work on the solution to alcoholism. And recovery plans have high success rate with us that are willing to do whatever it takes.

Good luck Mistakes, I would suggest jumping into AA with both feet. Get a sponsor ASAP and work the steps. Sobriety is truly amazing. You can have the life you have always wanted. You can be truly happy and know it in your soul.



Hi! Thank you for reading my story.
That is very true... alcoholics end up craving for another drink ..non-alcoholics usually dont.. I remember how many times seeing my friends or siblings stop and turn to water and I just continued until the next morning then all day again, then recover for the next 3 days. Repeat the next weekend. God, that is one thing I will not miss. 4th day sober and enjoying it.
Very sorry to hear you went through this same thing years ago... but lovely to know you survived and changed your life around after it all.

Today was a good day, having some hope. I will reach out to some people I met at the AA meeting tomorrow.
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