letitgo

My goal is to save $10 a day towards bills or other things that are necessity. I figure that is the amount of a 12 pack. So I would have spent it regardless.
ZJW, I really like your approach business vs personal. Finances have dragged me down. Young and dumb racked up debt. I settled most of it to end up back in debt. I am not a bad person just impulsive. The AV is very good at making excuses to use. It's funny you spend more to drink and be more depressed and pretend to not know where the money went. It was every other expense under the sun that caused this except the booze.
Take the plastic away.

Nefer, if you find an extra $150,000 laying around throw some my way

Clean30

It's funny because we all have to train ourselves to stop drinking with the hopes that it becomes natural to not drink and it does happen this way. And in concert with that you have to train yourself to not spend with the hopes you get used to that as well so when you get out of debt you can then save for things you want.

Just stopping drinking is not the only thing a lot of us have to do. We have a lot of housekeeping to do in our daily lives. Being the alcoholics we were our lives were in shambles. And just like practice makes perfect we have to get ourselves inline and back to being respectable so we can care about ourselves and others.

heartcore

This is my nightmare. It was hard to even read this thread.

I've faced up to & dealt with much of my financial irresponsibility, but it still lurks. I drive a crappy car that rattles & rolls because my credit is shot for a long long time. I am always on the edge. The only thing I held sacrosanct was my 401k - didn't touch it. But I spent the entire profit/equity on a house I sold on my "life adventure." I have to work hard to accept that this is just my story. It makes me feel uncomfortable in my body when I consider it.

I was a cocaine addict. Cocaine is a very expensive addiction. I could have transformed the lives of everyone in a third world village with the resources I greedily snorted into my nose. It hurts my heart.

I take steps to repair the mess & then freeze, paralyzed. It is the hardest part of recovery, for me.

6502ASM

Amen. I bought all sorts of things on ebay while drunk that I would not have purchased otherwise. It was mostly toys from my childhood. Pretty pitiful behaviour on my part.

Dee74

Maybe.

But there are people who have never taken a drink or a drug who would never even think of helping others.

The way I see it I had to go through what I did to be where I am.
I would have liked it to be quicker but it is what it is....

I've done more in the last ten years than in the 20 before that.

It's a good place to be, and a great place to be me.

I don't have time to look back and sigh anymore...too busy today

D

heartcore

Thank you, Dee. That was a sweet hug.

But it is still what I feel shame about in relation to addiction. Waste.

I know you're right. We are where we are.

When I did my (many) 4th steps, it was hard to find situations in which I had been unkind. Because - even with drugs & alcohol in the mix - at my center, I am a kind & loving person. But then (probably on my 3rd 4th step) I had the horrifying realization that I had greedily consumed way more than my share. That the loss was in what I had NOT done with my resources.

I blew a lot of money on drugs & alcohol.

A lot.

Resources that could have impacted the world, or a person, or created safety for me. I wasted valuable resources. Just blew them (literally).

Still working on this. Plus, I have **** credit. It's hard to appear successful in recovery when you arrive in the trembling beater car. I would like to transcend this stuff. Your word-hug helps. But it is the shadow-spot, still.

Posting on & reading this thread was actually difficult! I'm here though!

heartcore

Ps. One of the gifts of sobriety is that I am no longer wasteful & selfish like that, and can be generous & helpful. Trying to build financial safety for myself is a big goal, because financial insecurity is the whirling fire of my anxiety.

It is healing slowly. A bruise gone purple to green. Still there, but healing with time...

Delilah1

I definitely spent too much money on alcohol, as well as some late night impulse purchases on Amazon. I do not miss that!

Berrybean

Yeah. Amazon and e-bay were my go-to websites when drunk. Usually one eyed attempts to focus. My partner would say 'a parcel came, what are you expecting? ' and I'd get that horrible sinking feeling and respond that I had no idea. So, so much stuff. What an idiot.

6502ASM

One of the most difficult things for people to do in our modern culture is to live within our means. It seems that society makes it so the highlight of your day is eating food or buying something (or getting high). I live in the suburbs, there is nothing within walking distance except more cookie cutter houses, chain restaurants , chain stores like Wal-Mart and liquor stores. Everything involves spending money, eating too much food or getting high. Remember the old 1970's movie "Over the Edge" with Matt Dillon? It used to warn us about how living in these communities that made no plans for teenagers to stay occupied would push teens into drugs? Well, I think it does the same thing to the parents! When not working, I try to take on projects at home like fixing an old TV (I enjoy electronics). It keeps me away from over eating, drinking and off of Amazon and Ebay and the stores buying junk I don't need. But not always. Would love to know what others do to not make spending money the "highlight of the day"

Clean30

You're right. There is satisfaction from having something new. On the other hand what if the whole town where you live kept spending and spending but you saved all of your extra money? You'd be the one with the secret bank account while others bought trinkets from China from Walmart.

6502ASM

They just use credit cards when they run out of money.