lillyknitting

I would like to hear from those of you that perhaps diddrink every day. From the start I was a binge drinker. I was utterly and horrendously too ill to drink the next day or three after a binge. Although, even I went through a phase of not doing a bad impersonation of such. At one stage I was binging 3/4 nights a week. I would get impossibly drunk, wake up the next day feeling utterly dreadful where i would feel terrible all day long but still manage to drink the next night!!!

As the years went by my hangovers got worse and my quantity got less. I reached a definite period where I could drink a full bottle of vodka to myself, no problem! This would kill me today. On my last journeys to hell I could drink no more than a bottle of wine before passing out.

My last two drunks were hideous. I was sick everywhere. Down my beautiful mink coat, in my Louis handbag, virtually in bed, down my hair thereupon I passed out and laid in my own misfortune. I was hungover to the point I couldn't move and this lasted three days and I wasn't fully top ticket for at least a week.

I just feel now I am done. No more. I will never drink again. I have completely and utterly proved to myself what an utter waste of life boozing is. I also believe it to be a physical as well as mental and spiritual illness. I still cannot fathom to myself why oh why I kept on and on making myself so utterly unwell, filled with horror, pain and terror and yet, go back and do it all again.

I also have learned that that is the true meaning of chronic alcoholic - someone who repeats the same behaviour continually but expecting different results.

PS: I love, love, love, love my sobriety . Thank you friends xxx

PhoenixJ

shortstop81

I was also a binge-drinker. I drank maybe about 2-3 days a week, but the physical and emotional effects were debilitating. I also found that the actual AMOUNT I drank stayed fairly standard, but the effects on my body were getting progressively worse (especially the withdrawals).

I'm grateful that I've broken that cycle of hell, and am now engaging in different behaviours that promote recovery.

Done4today

I was a binge drinker also that became three day benders. Glad I was able to get a strong program and have a spiritual awakening.

ScottFromWI

I was an equal-opportunity drinker - I was able to go on benders and also go days just drinking "enough" to be comfy. Either way, I'm so thankful that I don't have to do either anymore!

Upstairs

I'm not sure what the definition of a binge drinker is, to someone that would drink until they passed out everyday regardless. I generally drank at about the same rate, except I started earlier in the days when I wasn't working, so worse hangovers. In my final periods, I had more or less stopped eating, and so that didn't help things either. Remembering these things are really important to me. It's what keeps me sober these days when I start to think about a small drink now and then.

wildchild69

Cripes. I'm not sure what it means that I can relate to something in each and every one of these posts. lol I've been the equal opportunity drinker, the daily drinker, but I've most been the binge drinker.....ranging from 0-2 times a week but debilitating hangover nonetheless....not so much ill, but just zero motivation to do anything, but lay in bed....and yes, I too could feel like hell all day long and be ready for a drink at some point.....or immediately the next morning and drink enough to just stay comfy all day, forcing myself to stop early enough that I'd crash out and not be too hungover for work Monday morning. Ridiculous. So glad to not have to worry about that anymore so long as I just don't drink.

wildchild69

oh and worst of all....the total lack of care about health or nutrition when hungover......like would eat or drink ANYTHING to feel better.....I even ate McDonalds once in the last year......I NEVER eat fast food.....I can also relate to the not eating food only drinking alcohol kind of drinking someone else mentioned on here.....thanks for posting all this stuff.

lillyknitting

Your replies are actually making me think a little deeper with the realisation that actually my drinking was probably the whole spectrum, over the years. If there was an opportune party, all dayer, happening (say, Ascot races) then sure I would drink all day, without a doubt and starting @9.00am. I think I'm probably kidding myself when I say "binger" coz there was a phase when I would drink when I could as much as I could if the occasion allowed. Omg, what a life!!!

I also experienced the utter horrors of waking up and having to go to work, I think that was the worst , my most dreadful of all my hangovers. But still didn't stop me. I'd gagging for it come Friday nights. I remember I used to visit my cousin Saturday afternoon after boozing solid Friday night, and yet still get on it big time Saturday. Come Sunday I was in a shocking state.

Forward12

I think for many this is the point when the light bulb comes on that it's time to hang up the booze. Hangovers that went from mild annoyances for maybe just the next morning, to crippling hell that can last for days. Continuing to try and fight with the booze, but you keep losing over and over and over until the realization hits that no matter what you do, if you keep playing with it, the battle is lost, with the only way to win is to quit.

tomsteve

near the endnof my drinking i couldnt drink every day. the physical symptoms of alcoholism were getting worse
but not a binge drinker here.if i could have i would have drank every day.

wildchild69

Understood and appreciated. It's weird to hear your struggle out of the mouths of others....you start to see yourself from above instead of being right in the middle of it. It's a strange thing to have an epiphany about yourself and your own behavior. I just recently realized I've been every kind of drinker....after labeling myself as a specific breed or something lol....bottom line is I'm an alcoholic....another epiphany....I realize I've never said that out loud to anyone other than myself. I suppose putting it in writing on a computer is a start?? I hope!

DarkDays

Grind it out Lilly , you too can be a cool dude

The thought of drinking now is so absurd to me now , you can get to this point I know you can .
Drinking for someone with drink issues always delivers the sane results , do not ever waste a minute of your life doing it again . You soon will not care what people think about you " not drinking " they need to drink , you don't !

lillyknitting

Thank you DD for your support. Feeling really strong. Never going back

zjw

i drank like a fish each night till i basicly passed out. then i woke up with a killer hangover ususally still drunk from the night before went to work thought about how terrible i felt and maybe iw ont drink later. usually by about noon i was doing a head count to see if i needed more beer for the evening and by 4 or 5pm i was already starting another night of drinking. in the end i started my dirnking earlier and earlier tho however becuase being sober was so incredibly uncomfortable with the anxiety and panic. I practically begged for that first drink each day and when i poured it down my throat i'd moan with relief. I usually would drink the first couple so fast just so i could get the alcohol flowing in my viens to calm myself down to what felt like a normal state to me.

i was essentially a slave to the booze to be honest. it was awful in many ways. the sick part of it is i'm an addict so part of me also gets the stupid idea now and then to do it again tho i wont cause I know better now.

Gottalife

My greatest wish was to be drunk every day, but I lacked the control. My pattern was to drink as much as I could for as long as I could, often upto four days, before I either ran out of money, was locked up, or was too sick to continue. I never ate when I was drinking, and could barely eat when I wasnt. I was well under weight when I got sober, and badly damaged physically and mentally as a result.

When I recovered, the people in the rooms, the new ones like me, were invariably skinny little things. The older members with a few years of good living under their belts were a bit more bulky.

Yet I read the other day that excess alcohol consumption is closely correlated to excess eating. I asked another member once why we have so many fat alkies turning up these days. His theory was use of drugs, which apparently give you the munchies. Luckily for me drugs were not a part of my journey, but I can't understand how I could eat AND drink successfully. It would interfere with the drinking, although it might make the vomit more colorful.

Fluffer

Ah, the bad old days of booze and cocaine hangovers that would last from Sunday until the middle of the week, just getting back to feeling normal and good at work in time for the weekend, baby! Kind of shocking I lasted all those years in a very demanding job.