I was a binge drinker
I would like to hear from those of you that perhaps diddrink every day. From the start I was a binge drinker. I was utterly and horrendously too ill to drink the next day or three after a binge. Although, even I went through a phase of not doing a bad impersonation of such. At one stage I was binging 3/4 nights a week. I would get impossibly drunk, wake up the next day feeling utterly dreadful where i would feel terrible all day long but still manage to drink the next night!!!
As the years went by my hangovers got worse and my quantity got less. I reached a definite period where I could drink a full bottle of vodka to myself, no problem! This would kill me today. On my last journeys to hell I could drink no more than a bottle of wine before passing out.
My last two drunks were hideous. I was sick everywhere. Down my beautiful mink coat, in my Louis handbag, virtually in bed, down my hair thereupon I passed out and laid in my own misfortune. I was hungover to the point I couldn't move and this lasted three days and I wasn't fully top ticket for at least a week.
I just feel now I am done. No more. I will never drink again. I have completely and utterly proved to myself what an utter waste of life boozing is. I also believe it to be a physical as well as mental and spiritual illness. I still cannot fathom to myself why oh why I kept on and on making myself so utterly unwell, filled with horror, pain and terror and yet, go back and do it all again.
I also have learned that that is the true meaning of chronic alcoholic - someone who repeats the same behaviour continually but expecting different results.
PS: I love, love, love, love my sobriety . Thank you friends xxx