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Old 01-13-2017, 05:57 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Steely View Post
I don't think alcohol is all that discerning when it comes to career choice Algorithm. I think police officers, ambulance drivers, etc. have a high incidence of alcohol abuse due to the stress involved in protecting the public, and maybe further support is needed in terms of (perhaps) PTSD, etc.

Maybe Mester, the Police Dept would have a counselling service?
We do. When you experience Heroin ODs over and over and over and Homocides(It's scary what a human can do to another human) It affects you. I use my EAP for that.
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Old 01-13-2017, 06:01 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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I went to a meeting tonight. It wasn't an AA meeting. My sponsor came over and I invited my closest friends. Told them everything. They were very supporting. My sponsor explained to them how to help me best. Hold me accountable. Check in with me. I trust these people with my life and they trust me with theirs. So you see, you don't always have to go to an AA meeting to get sober. You just have to have help in all the right places. That's why my sponsor is a GREAT sponsor
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Old 01-13-2017, 06:27 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post

Your anger, resentments and fear are coming through loud and clear to me; I can imagine your wife and kids have had to deal with these issues too. As a woman, that kind of behavior from a spouse is frightening - especially from a man who uses firearms in his job. I can imagine she has learned from past experience that when you are drinking it is worse..
I'm actually pretty laid back when I'm sober. I don't even write tickets when I'm working. I usually just tell them to slow down before they hurt someone and to put on their seatbelt. My irritability is totally to blame on early sobriety. I know it is because I yelled at my kids a couple of weeks ago and a few of you told me it was a Raw time. I remember feeling so horrible for it and I later apologized. It is a raw time. I'm just detoxing all this crap out of me. Who doesn't remember being a little irritable in early sobriety?

As far as the firearm. I've never pointed my firearm at anyone that I didn't have the intention of destroying. Have I pointed my firearm while working? Yes. I'm fortunate I've never had to pull the trigger yet.
My wife has her own firearm. I've taught her how to use it. She's just as good a shot as me. And we keep them locked up while at home because we have 3 kids
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Old 01-14-2017, 12:43 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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More power to you Mester. Hope you are still doing well fellow traveller. Sober is good, and then it turns into life.
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Old 01-14-2017, 04:53 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Yet they still are. And holding them to a higher standard really doensn't matter - they are still addicts and addiction really dosen't care what you do - as long as you drink.
As someone also in the field of law enforcement - I can attest to this. I crossed every damn line out there due to my addiction. Yes there's a high standard of personal conduct, but I was just REALLY damn good at not getting caught.

Thank God I still have my job.
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Old 01-14-2017, 05:09 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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Mester, sounds like you've got a good support system this time around. After nearly 30 years of drinking, I got sober with just the help of friends and family and SR. I'm now 7+ years sober. The first few days/weeks/months are the hardest, but once you get through them, it does get easier.

I wish you all the best.
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Old 01-14-2017, 06:25 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by ScottfromWI
Yet they still are. And holding them to a higher standard really doensn't matter - they are still addicts and addiction really dosen't care what you do - as long as you drink.
Actually being held to a higher standard seems to have had an effect on Mester, as witnessed in his quote below.

Originally Posted by Mester
We are held to a higher standard. I NEVER drank on the 6 days I worked. It would it cost me too much. I NEVER drove when I was drinking either. I have my own personal Portable Breath Test. If it was ever over 0.0 I never got behind the wheel. I'd be fired immediately if they found out as we have a zero tolerance policy
So, Mester, it seems that you have some say in the matter of whether and when you drink. You certainly have a defense against that first drink. I see that you understand zero tolerance in relation to your job and you respect it. I wonder why you did not take your wife's zero tolerance policy in regards to drinking as seriously? What if you imposed a zero tolerance policy for drinking on yourself? What if you took that NEVER that you are perfectly capable of doing and applied it to all alcohol use- as in, "I NEVER drink alcohol under any circumstance." ?
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Old 01-14-2017, 07:26 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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That's what it took for me--never means never
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Old 01-14-2017, 11:48 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
That's what it took for me--never means never
And there is a process involved in reaching the Land of Never.
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Old 01-14-2017, 02:22 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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The idea that there exists some 'process ' , that something other than deciding to quit , deciding that no matter what I would never put alcohol in mouth again and not change my mind on that decision, that is what kept me from deciding.
I would say my process was the time it took me to realize there really wasn't one, just choose never again and live it.
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Old 01-14-2017, 04:40 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Hi Mester,

I just wanted to pop my head above the parapets to say: the meeting you described in post#82 sounds pretty good to me. I've often wanted to just have that kind of thing, at home, with a few trusted supporters. Your sponsor sounds terrific, in my opinion. In fact, that more casual model is really all that Bill W and the early mob did, long before it all got rather too programmatic. The last thing Dr Bob said to Bill, many years later on Bob's deathbed, was about just that: 'just keep it simple, for heaven's sake' (or along those lines).

Re your work, I've noticed that here in my city, there's a monthly closed meeting for all emergency services people, cops, doctors, ambos, firies, etc. (That's a mere afterthought to my post).

All the best, Mester. I reckon you'll be OK. Sounds to me you know what you need to do and how to do it.
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