When Drinking I Liked To ??

Old 03-22-2017, 11:16 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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When drinking I liked to chase after some strange things.

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Old 03-22-2017, 11:43 AM
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Constructive - I would actually be more enthused about housework

Destructive - Neglect important stuff
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:46 AM
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-Pretend to be happy when I was depressed
-Feel comfortable in my own skin
-Seek attention
-Lie to myself that I was having fun when it was all a facade

-Get out of my head and thinking
-Escape my problems/stress
-Be able to fall asleep
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Old 03-22-2017, 02:03 PM
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Sit and get loaded in front of my PC. I work from it all day and would drink all day and night. Go down for dinner with my wife and kids and then right back to drinking and going to 1 of the same 3 websites I had been going to all day. Waste of life is right.
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Old 03-22-2017, 03:37 PM
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So many of these sound so familiar...

I think the biggest was watching movies. But I could never remember the endings! Fancy that.
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Old 03-22-2017, 03:43 PM
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Honestly... drive. Horrible.
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Old 03-22-2017, 04:44 PM
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I liked to play quarters and I was the champion!
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Old 03-23-2017, 08:05 AM
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When Drinking I Liked To ??

Get so loaded at work that I was a danger to myself and others.
While driving a company truck and dealing with the Public.
Kind of embarrassing as I look back sober today.
Grateful to have a retirement check coming in monthy.
There was One looking down over me.
A good reason to never go back there -- I know today what I was Saved from.
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Old 03-23-2017, 03:25 PM
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Leave work and get a 12 pack and a pint of Vodka, and drink the entire hour drive home. That was my "relax" time. Ughh my god I was stupid and dangerous! I did that everyday for the last 5 years.
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Old 03-23-2017, 03:47 PM
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I used to drink while watching Ratatouille. I watched it again a year ago and it depressed me to remember drinking while watching it. So glad that's in the past.
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Old 03-23-2017, 05:23 PM
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Kill myself. Fantasize about suicide.
Sabotage myself.
Destroy myself.
Make the world hate me.
Be an absolute ***hole.

I don't miss it one bit.
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Old 03-23-2017, 10:20 PM
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When drinking I liked to ??

For the last few years: Isolate

I lived with my parents in their house and could go for days without seeing them. Often they would go out of town for a few days and I would get excited that I would have the house to myself. The funny thing (sad more than funny) is that when they would leave my routine wouldn't change. When I got up I would get a cup of coffee (or a Coke) and go outside to smoke a cigarette. When I finished the coffee/coke I would crack open my first beer and drink until I went to sleep (or passed out). Most of my time was spent in front of the computer playing online poker or collecting and watching TV shows/movies. Ironically I got good enough at poker that it ended up funding my drinking for the most part (not saying much as I drank cheap 5.9% ice beer).

I did that for pretty much 3 years straight until I started having this debate in my head every day during my morning smoke whether I should go back in and crack that first beer open or just end things. I had reached that point mentioned in the Big Book where I couldn't imagine living with or without alcohol. Luckily I had a lucid moment one day and called a treatment center. Two weeks later I had my first appointment with them and it was also the last day I took a drink (had 3 beers on the way to the appointment). That was in April of 2013.
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Old 03-24-2017, 07:54 PM
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Snort coke, cheat and ******** people like nobody's business.
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Old 03-26-2017, 04:32 AM
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My alcoholism was progressive.the end was pure hell. Early on I did the typical "funny" things that binge drinkers do. But at the end...
I would just isolate in my apartment.
Listen to music, watch stupid youtube videos and pretend that I had a life.
Occasionally I would venture out to the 99 and sit at the bar and have a drink and hope to strike up a convo. with someone but usually that did not happen and I would just go home and drink on my couch.
I used to drink wine nips and throw them out of my car windows as I was driving. A few times I side swiped cars when I drove by. Real nice. I am so grateful I never hurt anyone.
Taking the first drink of the morning (usually in the liquor store parking lot) and puking it up out my car door, or on the dashboard and my lap if I was not quick enough, is a memory that gives me warm fuzzies (NOT).
Showering lost its importance. Brushing my teeth made me gag and puke. I stopped eating.
God, it was pure hell. I am so blessed to be sober today. I still talk to the woman I met from AA who came to my house, scraped me up off my couch, put me in her car, and drove me to the emergency room. She saved my life. I love her.
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Old 03-26-2017, 04:45 AM
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Buy two cheap bottles of wine. Promise myself i would only drink one and have the other the next day.
Drink the two and totally blackout. Wake up the next morning full of regrets and unsure of what i did.

Two days later same thing.

The feeling like things are more fun and losing all the painful thoughts is so short term.

The feeling after drinking is not worth it.)-:
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Old 03-26-2017, 05:00 AM
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I liked to write. But when I went back the next day and looked at the notes I thought were so brilliant, I couldn't understand what I wrote.
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Old 03-26-2017, 06:14 AM
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cook a great meal...then not eat it until it was dried up, really nasty.

journal...write pages and pages of nonsense.

listen to music on YouTube...same songs over and over (Carly Simon, JT, Carly Simon, John Denver, Tracy Chapman, One Republic, ...), then text the links to friends and all hrs.

feel sorry for myself

fight with husband

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Old 03-26-2017, 07:40 AM
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I liked to start at 6 or 7pm and go until 1 or 2am. I'd chain smoke and do home improvement, except that I'd usually eff up. I'd usually end up hurting myself in some stupid way, then wake up with bruises and aches and have no idea how I got them. Smashing my finger with a hammer, poking myself in the eye while coloring my hair drunk, resulting in a black eye. Burning my fingers with cigarettes or burning my hands while cooking my "masterpiece". Fractured tailbone from falling down the stairs. So very, very sad.

And I thought I was "inspired"!
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Old 03-26-2017, 08:00 AM
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On Sunday mornings while at church
I liked to get out of there ASAP
so as to get my drinking on.

I was starting to get a "one track mind"
a mind that seeked after booze
and did not seek after God.

Today --
my wife and I are getting ready for Church on this nice sober Sunday.

A nice sober day wished for all.
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Old 03-26-2017, 08:04 AM
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I got to the point where I would feel good for a little bit and then just feel sleepy too fast. Where as before I could drink for hours. I would play video games or make music. (things I do now sober and have more fun) biggest thing would be to hook up with my girl friend while drinking. A lot better at that sober lol half a year sober and feeling excellent. Things that would get me down for hours, I now shake off in minutes.
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