MelindaFlowers

When drinking I would sit on the porch for hours just listening to music as I got more and more intoxicated.

I would watch youtube videos for hours.

I would talk on the phone for hours and slur my words.

I would post things on Facebook that were either inappropriate, crude, or too personal.

I would email people I hadn't talked to in a long time.

But to answer the question more seriously, when drinking I would simply check out from life. For the first seven or so years I was able to pull this off with very little negative consequences. Little did I know at the time, I was slowly but surely becoming more and more dependent on alcohol. It became part of who I was.

For the first seven years or so it was my medicine to feel good, calm, to melt away worries. That first drink was the highlight of my day and I spent the rest of the evening trying to keep that feeling.

For the last three years or so, any semblance of joy and relaxation was gone. I was sick every day. I was depressed when I was wasn't drinking and I was depressed when I was drinking.

Back to the question, when I was drinking I never had any time for anything but I never got anything done. My house was a mess. My car was a mess. Finding a clean outfit for the next day was a monumental task.

Seven hours of my day (5 pm-midnight) were gone because I just sat on the porch drinking.

2muchpain

Now, in the beginning of a binge, I would sometimes get this rush while drinking and go nuts cleaning my apartment. Felt pretty good about it. Unfortunately, by the end of the week, the whole place would look like a dump and no idea how it got that way. John

least

When I was drinking, I would drink myself soggy while watching movies. There are still a few movies I can't watch anymore as they remind me of those days.

OddOneIn

I would come home open a bottle of wine and then because I could not eat until late in the day make a big dinner and eat and drink, watch TV and surf the internet. Open and drink more wine until I passed out and repeat.

I actually do all of that now too except for the drinking part and I can eat during the day now so I don't eat so much at night.

PhoenixJ

I became everything I could have been if I did not drink. A 'gonna" do everything...just after this drink. Then when it was obvious- even to me that my life was so effed by alcohol those dreams turned into nightmares and then I drank to be dead- but alive. After that I really do not know.....

Mountainmanbob

Back in the days when I was single and living up here on the mountain I was stuck in an unhealthy rut for a while and after working hard all day I would come home and put a whole package of biscuits in the over and for dinner I would just have biscuits and beer -- many biscuits and many, many beers. I did this for a very long time.

I don't think that a person can live very long eating foods such as that.
Especially when washing down all of those biscuits with a 12 pack.
After drinking 6 to 12 at work.
Oh-yes, might as well throw in some tequila from time to time.
Wanting to be sure that -- I really get there.
Always trying hard to get there!
M-Bob

Bunny211

Put a DVD in...watch it, restart a few times because I was so drunk I had no idea what was going on...before finally giving up.

Go on Facebook and post ridiculous things. Email people who I was NOT close to some ridiculous, long, dramatic emails about my inner angst. I actually emailed an old HS teacher a long email and I was so mortified the next day.

Online shop. Oh Lord......the things I bought.

Cook. I'd start cooking on the first drink and then give up and half -arse it, abandon it or spill it all over the place and make a huge mess.

Smoke a ton of ciggs. Like light one from the butt of another cigg. Just chain smoke for hours.

Go to bars at 11am on Saturday ALONE. Sit at the bar and order a drink and make up some story about how my mother was watching my kids for a few hours and mommy really needed some wine and a rest. I'm not married and I have no kids.

At the end I stopped going to bars. My friends would invite me to go out...say we are headed to the bar at 10pm and I'd know I'd be too blasted to leave at that hour....by 8pm I'd be passed out on my couch....so I'd just stay in and drink my face off all night.

2muchpain

That reminds me of back when I was teaching. My reward was to make a large bowl of french fries every Friday night. I'd put everything on them, salt, ketcup, hot sauce with a side of blue cheese dip. I'd place that huge bowl on my coffee table along with my bottle of whatever, put on the TV and veg out. Just seemed normal to me back then. John

GnikNus

That actually doesn't sound too bad, John- as a once a week thing (minus the drinking part). I teach, and I know the need to some sort of Friday treat. Speaking of which... Back to work today after a week off...

2muchpain

Unfortunately that Friday was the start of a really bad weekend, but the fries were great!! FYI, the last two years I taught were in San Diego, before I decided to put away my markers and just sub from then on. Just having to follow someone else's plan and go home with not homework to do is a lot easier!! Teachers are the unsung heros. Hope you have a great year!! John

PoliteScoundrel

I see a lot of people's experiences are similar to mine.

When I first open the bottle of whiskey, I usually watch TV or Youtube videos, sometimes listen to music. When I've made a sizable dent in that bottle of whiskey, I sometimes get on Facebook or my phone and go on belligerent rants (eg politics). Those times are the worst - I've hurt many relationships of mine this way. If I'm lucky, I'll pass out before I get to that stage.

GnikNus

I teach in California as well- Northern California, though. Yeah- going to subbing from full time teaching would be a weight off my shoulders- but I won't be able to do that for another 20-25 years or so.
The year is going well. I have one great class- best class in 17 years of teaching.

kathmandu

Why would you put a packet of biscuits in the oven Bob?

(I know the answer is "to warm them up" but i dont understand why you'd want hot biscuits and beer.

Mountainmanbob

Hi kathmandu

I'm not sure as I look back how I got into that routine?
For sure not healthy, especially after so many days with only those two.
I still love biscuits but, my wife keeps me on a healthy diet.
We live longer I think with a good wife or husband (and being sober).

M-Bob

August252015

I, too, did the writing thing....til I had absolutely nothing to say because I was so tapped out. It actually took me six months of being sober before I could start again and I launched my current website (the third of three blogs I have had over the last decade). Amazing gift to have back- and my content and eloquence are leaps and bounds better than anything that came before.

I liked to cook. Then I would never eat the elaborate meal because one of my tricks was to get too full on wine or vodka to care about food. I would usually wrap it up and put it in the fridge or sometimes have planned ahead and made something I could take to work or otherwise gift. Or I just threw away whatever I had made.

I was a champ at sitting in my favorite corner of the sofa with a book and a movie or recorded show going, usually like chain smoking back to back entertainment that I paid very little attention to as I just kept refilling my glass.

I loved taking long baths with glasses of wine on the ledge and the bottle handy, and reading a book.

So sad to think back on it- not the least of why is because I was always....alone.

dsmaxis10

I drank yesterday I like that I didn't get a drunk driving and I would like to not be hungover and I would like to hear a large pooping sound .

Mountainmanbob

I liked to drive with a beer between my legs.

I'm speachless as I look back.
I share things here that I wouldn't share with my mother. Shameful, and that's another reason that I don't drink today.

M-Bob

Mountainmanbob

When drinking I liked to.

When drinking I was attracted to the Ladies on the lower side of town
or wherever they could be found
searching for the bad ones
wanting to get down

actually acting as a clown. ....

M-Bob

Ringo123

It's frightening to think about it now, but I like to drink and drive. Absolute madness. I'd pour out a little soda in my Diet Dr Pepper can then add some German brandy (I was stationed in Hanau, W. Germany back then).

I also drank, ironed my Army uniforms and watched TV. Occasionally I would burn a finger or the side of my hand.

What a wasted life. Not anymore!!

overforty

This for me too minus the games - such a waste of life!
This on repeat every evening and every weekend isolating and lying to everyone about everything:-(