AlericB

I was wobbling last night over whether to just have a couple of glasses of wine and I thought about it and realised that deep down I don't want such a moderate amount and would only really be happy with the whole bottle at least.

The thought occurred that if I did have one or two glasses I would start to feel anxious because I would start to crave more and this whole mass of feelings would be very unpleasant and almost impossible to deal with. I realised that going through this would be far worse than just riding through the momentary urge to pick up and it saved me on that occasion!

I just wondered if anyone else has any particular thoughts that help whenever you feel yourself wavering?

PhoenixJ

My motivation to stop drinking was very dramatic, so a lesson perhaps for others to learn from. Well documented here. Think of the day after. The damage- money lost. Consequences.

Mattq2

Good for you Aleric
I found "playing the tape forward" to be huge during those times. Invisioning the complete disaster that the one drink would bring. Followed by a full blown relapse and months if not years of trying to get sober again. It just isnt worth it if you spend just a few moments looking into the future.

I know it sounds dismal but I could never have just one. I would spiral completely out of control.

Good for you for staying sober😀

Bunny211

It is really, really hard. I won't downplay it.
One thing that worked for me, that someone told me was "I will NEVER wake up tomorrow morning and think 'Damn, I wish I drank last night." And the inverse is true as well...you will always wake up the next morning, if you do pick up, and hate yourself. It just is not worth it. Luckily, the mental obsession will lift over time (as it does with all of us).

Dee74

This list has helped me

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

the bottom line is - when in doubt - reach out

D

TheLuckyCat

I agree, when i was sober in January for a month, the thoughts of all the disaster and miserable feelings stopped me from having a drink.

Think of the fresh and clean feeling of being sober brings instead.

We can never just have a few. x

Doug39

I respect my sobriety and my new way of living too much to ruin it all with alcohol use.

I have come too far and worked too hard to better myself and overcome the dark depressing place I was during the ending years of my addition.

Sure, when I see others drink it looks enticing but it is all a lie; it may make me feel good in the moment but the end results are deadly.

Gottalife

I was a couple of years sober. My new job had taken me to a beautiful hotel. There was a big event on. Big businessmen, the mayor all in attendance for this upscale event. Really comfortable seating, warm, just everything was great. I thought "wouldn't it be nice to have a drink now. This is just the sort of environment I could really enjoy". Which was followed immediately by the thought "If I had a drink, I wouldn't be here". I was never going to drink that night. All defences were working.

What used to demoralise me was to find myself on the third drink, when I had decided not to drink that day. Where the heck were all the thoughts that should have stopped me. They never came to mind. So it was what the heck, I might as well finish the job. So frustrating.

My best strategy in very early sobriety was to get in the habit of calling several people everyday, whether I was feeling good or bad. That had a way of heping me sort out any problems before the obsession came back. It was no good ringing only if I felt like drinking, because if I was going to drink, it wouldn't occur to me to call.

totfit

I know this may sound a little bit "light", but I just honestly have to shake my head and laugh at my thinking. How ridiculous is that thinking "for me". I don't entertain the thought as it is so ridiculous. I don't dwell. I quickly look for something else to do that will take my time and which I can look back and see what I had accomplished if it were nothing but a nice relaxing day with some outside or otherwise entertaining activity.

AlericB

That's something I'm trying to practice. I find when thoughts about drinking pop up I usually start dwelling on them and enter into an inner conversation with myself about whether I should or should not try and have just a couple of drinks. I know this is a conversation that is going to go on forever unless I either find a way to disentangle myself from it or give up and have that first drink.

I've been trying to practice a mindful approach by being aware of thoughts and impulses about drinking as they arse and allowing them to be there, non-judgmentally, until they naturally fairly quickly subside rather than trying to push them away which just has the opposite effect of keeping the dialog going.

That's the theory anyway! But without practice I don't think it will be of much help if a really big wave comes crashing down!

Clean30

The only days I could possibly drink are the weekends so i never have a problem until then. Yesterday was a nice and warm Saturday and I used to love to spend the whole day in a euphoric state with alcohol.

Typically what you have to do is write the day off as a day that just needs to pass if I am entertaining drinking. I may have not been busy enough to take my mind off of the alcohol. So I will just get through the day and look forward to sleeping to reset it all and wake up the next day

That's all I can hope for is to wake up the next day and know I didn't drink and to try to stay busier the next day.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Play the tape through.
For me it's simple: I know what will happen.

Caramel

I sum it all up for myself by saying firmly to myself "I don't do that any more".
I've also visualised instantly brushing the thought away as one might sweep a horrid insect away from the table.

Stellar45

I've been there before where the thought hits and feels like an overwhelming temptation. I was there yesteday for a few hours. I did not pick up. I am so glad that you did not either. Good on you Aleric and keep your sobriety going forward!

Stellar45

My thoughts were basically what the end result would take me, a place full of remorse and "inconprensible demoralization."
As depressed as I felt at that time yesterday, I had to realize it could be a lot worse. My depression lifted (along with the thought of drlnking) after a few hours, thank God. I simply cannot go through the beatdown of alcohol withdrawals once again.

JeffreyAK

What worked best for me was to not even engage in the internal why-shouldn't-I debate, and just distract myself with something else. I found that those urges would come and go, often in response to situations, and the next time I'd try to avoid those same situations if I could. I know why I quit and can't and don't want to ever drink again, and the internal debate just gave my little addict voice yet another opportunity to try to change my mind.

cejay

This happened to me last night. I even drove to the grocery store to pick up beer. I was in the parking lot of the grocery store about to get out of my car and stopped for a second.

I thought of a few different things:

1 A) OK so I'm about to get beer/drunk and then I'll have to hide it from my GF, I can get away with it, but when will I actually stop?

1 B) Will this make quitting any easier?

2) I remembered that I am powerless over alcohol after the first few drinks. After say 3 or so, I'll drink till I go to sleep.

3) Asked myself if I wanted to be sick and unproductive at work tomorrow and thought about how it'd affect some things I'm working on.

4) Lastly, asked myself: Why am I wanting to drink today?
Answer after thought: I want to celebrate
Question: What else can I do to celebrate?
Answer was Mexican food and video games till bed.

Not sure if any of my rambling helped. Often just thinking about being sick the next day and reminding myself I don't "drink like a gentleman" is enough.

CJ.

NYCDoglvr

I get on the phone and call another alcoholic and get to a meeting. Denial and rationalization are always with us and sometimes I'm not able to fight them on my own. You could also relive your last drunk, how it felt. Good luck.

AlericB

I like the idea of running the tape to keep alive the reason you stopped in the first place.

It's beginning to dawn on me (day 11) that recovery is not going to be a linear progression. I'd been feeling OK but yesterday I found myself again considering the possibility of moderation. I know deep down that that is not an option for me and I got through it OK but it made me reconsider the way I think about cravings and obsessive thoughts. I had been imagining that, however intense they were, these would be fairly short-lived and all I needed to do was to hold on for a few moments and they would subside. Yesterday's debate with myself which went on all evening and nearly killed me with boredom has put paid to that! The positive I take is in knowing that however long unpleasant thoughts and sensations around drinking last they will sooner or later subside.

SnazzyDresser

I think of Odysseus having his men lash him to the mast so he wouldn't give him to the irrational temptation of the Sirens and their calls.