Diary of a Mad Cow, Part X: "The Adventures of Sober Cow"
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by suicideseason 
no i find this thread a disrespect to people who are trying to be sober thanks for being lovely.
half their posts make no sense. they refer themselves as a cow and talk about being ****** up cuz the wind blew southernly instead of to the east. making lies about getting treatment. They refer themselves in this thread "adventures of sober cow" whos sober and calls themselves a cow, or says cats and dogs enable them. this thread is offensive to my sobriety and i personally wish to see this removed. im about to be 10 days sober, thank you very much.
you sound naive. have a lovely night.
half their posts make no sense. they refer themselves as a cow and talk about being ****** up cuz the wind blew southernly instead of to the east. making lies about getting treatment. They refer themselves in this thread "adventures of sober cow" whos sober and calls themselves a cow, or says cats and dogs enable them. this thread is offensive to my sobriety and i personally wish to see this removed. im about to be 10 days sober, thank you very much.
you sound naive. have a lovely night.
Omnivore
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Winter Water Wonder Land
Posts: 516
Originally Posted by suicideseason
thanks for being lovely.
No problemo! I do what I can!
Originally Posted by suicideseason
and your calling me incoherent. read one post by cow and say those words to me again.
This second post was better, more coherent.
Cow is delightfully insightful and a joy to read. If her writing is not your cup of tea, pass it by. No need to seek a ban or burn the books.
Originally Posted by Hawks
Chill out dude.
It's the internet.... People do some weird stuff.
The world won't spin off its axis.
How's things going btw?
well done on ten days.
It's the internet.... People do some weird stuff.
The world won't spin off its axis.
How's things going btw?
well done on ten days.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by suicideseason
half their posts make no sense. they refer themselves as a cow and talk about being ****** up cuz the wind blew southernly instead of to the east. making lies about getting treatment. They refer themselves in this thread "adventures of sober cow" whos sober and calls themselves a cow, or says cats and dogs enable them.
Suicideseason, congrats on ten days. Hope you will reconsider your feelings about this thread. It's not nearly as menacing as it appears, lol.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by suicideseason
...half their posts make no sense. they refer themselves as a cow and talk about being ****** up cuz the wind blew southernly instead of to the east. making lies about getting treatment. They refer themselves in this thread "adventures of sober cow" whos sober and calls themselves a cow, or says cats and dogs enable them. this thread is offensive to my sobriety and i personally wish to see this removed. im about to be 10 days sober, thank you very much.
I agree the thread can be read as a goof. Troll bait designed to run in a circle. However, given this is a recovery forum who knows?
Ultimately, it's the moderators call.
Congrats on the 10 days and welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
I don't recall ever feeling irked. Nor did I ever think it was a goof. The Addictive Voice in full cry is way too familiar to me. I am not as smart or talented as Cow nor as creative. But I've been battling the Beast (feelings) and the Addictive Voice for many, many years. I recognize it all too well.
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Never once did I think this thread was a goof or wrong. Just avoided it cuz it was too close to home. My heart tends to favor those such as SS given circumstances and survivability odds. I could be dead wrong in assuming resources make a difference. I suppose money and intellect can provide too much insulation. I'm with you Lenina--Happiness is the emperor's new clothes and each must find their "OK". I'm just saying the horse goes before the cart. Stay sober long enough to make an informed decision.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by anattaboy
.... I could be dead wrong in assuming resources make a difference. I suppose money and intellect can provide too much insulation.
It wasn't until I had become almost unemployable that I began to seriously think about my drinking. I got cut a lot of slack when I was younger but when you're in your mid-30's and pulling the same crap people often get tired fast.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by Lenina
I don't recall ever feeling irked. Nor did I ever think it was a goof. The Addictive Voice in full cry is way too familiar to me. I am not as smart or talented as Cow nor as creative. But I've been battling the Beast (feelings) and the Addictive Voice for many, many years. I recognize it all too well.
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
wonderful! I needed to read this Lenina
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,881
Originally Posted by Lenina
I don't recall ever feeling irked. Nor did I ever think it was a goof. The Addictive Voice in full cry is way too familiar to me. I am not as smart or talented as Cow nor as creative. But I've been battling the Beast (feelings) and the Addictive Voice for many, many years. I recognize it all too well.
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
I never got as deep in the crap as some here have; perhaps that is blessing of limited intellect. Or that my substance of choice was alcohol. I used my substance to pass out as that was my Deep Pleasure. I never enjoyed over stimulation. I didn't need a busy signal to distract me when the passing out was much easier! LOL Plus I have very unpleasant reactions to most pharmaceuticals.
I am satisfied with contentment. I don't believe happiness is a sustainable emotion. Oh, I can be happy for others. I love seeing other people rejoice in their successes!
What drives me is probably Fear. I don't want to do any more damage to my body or to my soul. In the beginning I didn't much believe in a soul. Today for whatever reasons, I worry there may be an afterlife for my spark or soul, if you will. I don't believe energy dies out. It may just transmogrify for all I know! I just don't want to come back again in any form! I want to be done!
I've heard if one doesn't deal with addiction in this life, you will have it in the next! Pretty humorous to contemplate, if you think about it.
So, that's where I am. Just tying to do the Next Right Thing. Moving forward. Helping where I can, doing my bit for World Peace and knowing that maybe the only peace I can find here is the peace in my own soul.
Or maybe I'm just having a wank.
Love from Lenina
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
I sorry I keep announce my sobriety prematurely, but I bet everybody here has do that too. I think I has make progress from where I was when I arrive here. Or maybe not, but I not see how anybody call some of tortured gut-splaying experiences I have openly share "a goof."
I not think I ever once show disrespect to anyone.
BTW, I not and never claim to be actual cow. (Sorry if that big spoiler to some of you.)
PS. Even though I not have lot of feelings, is still possible to hurt them.
I not think I ever once show disrespect to anyone.
BTW, I not and never claim to be actual cow. (Sorry if that big spoiler to some of you.)
PS. Even though I not have lot of feelings, is still possible to hurt them.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
(((((COW))))) No attaching to the negative only. There are hundreds, if not thousands of us here who are so grateful for your honesty and willingness to go "there".
In retrospect, I have realized that what frustrated me so much about your condition is that I couldn't fix what I recognized as myself staring back at me in a mirror. The darkside that we all try to turn our heads away from. Jung mumbled on something about "embracing the dark side" yadda yadda yadda.
I am very grateful for you.
XO AO
In retrospect, I have realized that what frustrated me so much about your condition is that I couldn't fix what I recognized as myself staring back at me in a mirror. The darkside that we all try to turn our heads away from. Jung mumbled on something about "embracing the dark side" yadda yadda yadda.
I am very grateful for you.
XO AO
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,881
Originally Posted by silentrun
Thanks everyone. I am ok. The thing about nicotine meltdowns is they last a short amount of time. Some of the meltdowns I had when sobering up lasted days and days.
Sat night my grandpa had some clots let lose and go to his legs. He is 91 and his body is shutting down so they got him stable and moved him back to his room at the nursing home with my grandma. He has some awareness but no cognition at all. She knew he was dying so her heart gave out today and she died a little after 2. Last night I got ahold of my NM (I'm still shunned) and told her the end was very near for her mom and dad (as opposed to the end of the world which has been any day now since the beginning of time). She never showed even after I told her I could get her Satanic siblings out of the room so she could have alone time with her parents. People who are not in the cult don't matter anyway so I am not surprised by her response.
Watching regular people react in family situations made me realize what was taken from me. It made me sad when they talked about Bdays I was never at or Christmas.
It's Ok though. I got to have it the past few days.
It's funny Hawks mentioned Bill Hicks. I was thinking about that today and even said something very similar to my grandpa. Everyone was telling him it was OK to let go after grandma died but he is one tough bastard.
Sat night my grandpa had some clots let lose and go to his legs. He is 91 and his body is shutting down so they got him stable and moved him back to his room at the nursing home with my grandma. He has some awareness but no cognition at all. She knew he was dying so her heart gave out today and she died a little after 2. Last night I got ahold of my NM (I'm still shunned) and told her the end was very near for her mom and dad (as opposed to the end of the world which has been any day now since the beginning of time). She never showed even after I told her I could get her Satanic siblings out of the room so she could have alone time with her parents. People who are not in the cult don't matter anyway so I am not surprised by her response.
Watching regular people react in family situations made me realize what was taken from me. It made me sad when they talked about Bdays I was never at or Christmas.
It's Ok though. I got to have it the past few days.
It's funny Hawks mentioned Bill Hicks. I was thinking about that today and even said something very similar to my grandpa. Everyone was telling him it was OK to let go after grandma died but he is one tough bastard.
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