RobbyRobot

The Best of 1966 Batman/Bruce Wayne - YouTube

Olive1

The company I work for is having a hard time making ends meet and my boss was out of town so all the crap fell onto me and I stressed about making sure the bank was not in the red each day and everyone was complaining to me about how the company is not doing well like I have any control whatsoever.
Just glad this week is done.

Cow

Love Adam West Batman. Favorite quote is: "I think the word you looking for is "aaaahhhhhhh!"

But we gonna needs some original superhero programming from you to get us through weekend, Robot. No pressure.

Olive, I understands. I President of Board of Historic community where I live. Is ton of work, which I does for free. Almost everybody very happy with job I does, excepting is for lot of crazy, entitle, narcissist peoples live here, and I has to field all complaint, such as, "OMG! IVY LEAF IS TOUCHING MY WALKWAY STONE!" Oh no! Dear God in heavens! How is you ever to get through night when such heinous tragedy befall you!

And people think alcoholics is piece of work!

Olive1

Yes, as stressful as the slow demise of the company is, I think the whininess of the other employees is what drives me the most batty.
( pun intended?)

RobbyRobot

Queen - Under Pressure (Official Video) - YouTube

Weekends are what we make them, no?

How is everybody doing?

Cow

How is we doing?! We just spend two pages whining about how crappy we doing! How is YOU doing Robot?

This weekend, I has fabulous invite to go to special symphony performance tomorrow. I like symphony, but I not going because I too frail and dead inside and know I will only be big fat bummer to very vibrant gentleman who invites me. I not wish to bring down his night by be saddle with ploopy Borg Cow. Then I has event on Sunday which I will probable has to cancel for similar reason. Now, before you says, hey, just go Cow! Keep in mind that will create dangerous situations for me in which I feel I has to pump self up by whatever mean necessary to be affable and pleasant company.

Lenina

Cow, sorry you're missing some fun events. I do appreciate the wisdom of not going if you feel the case may be tricky for your sobriety Makes me proud of you. And I'm also proud of your efforts to make life easy for our Dee. good job behaving yourself! (I'm not kidding, I appreciate the effort that goes into writing and know that when one must restrain oneself it's extra hard)

Olive, I'm sorry you have to preside over the withering business. are you sure it's about over? Is it possible some dynamic person could revive or has it just run its course?

Snarkybnny, So things aren't going so well for you either? I'm having an emotional slump too. Ive been home for a week now and still can't perk up. I have slept some but not enough. Went out for a nice dinner, had some yummy salmon. I'm sure the restaurant must grow its own tomatoes as they are ripe and juicy and tasty, unlike what we usually get these days.

House hunting tomorrow. And Sunday. Ack. Laundry to be done, cleaning and some paperwork I've avoided. Just got a note from my employer wanting to know what to do with my pay check in case I'm held hostage or disappear. LOL I'm guessing some lawyer has advised this. Today. It's all about liability. I'd like to guess my hard earned money might be used to bail me! mooosnort!

What a world we live in! At least I do enjoy the music.

Love from CAL

Cow

Thanks Lenina, I never sure if NOT doing something is good for my sobriety or bad for my getting on with life. Is actual very difficult to decides this. But, since I not really has any measurable sobrieties, I feel to err on side of being protective.

Is nobody else on sleeping pill? I total on sleeping pill. I sure I go total crazy without. But I also suspect is part of my problem with the anhedonia. Just today I request to get switch off benzo for sleep and they give me doxepin. Is anybody use this? I frighten to try because of my delicate brain chemistries. But I think is probable good to get off the benzos, yes?

Lenina

Cow, like you, my body doesn't react well to many western medicines. I think I was given doxipen at one point, it's sounds familiar. And I think you're wise to ditch the Benzos. My mom had seizures in withdrawal from them, in fact, that's what brought me to SR. I had no idea she was taking them. none. I never I didn't know Benzos had that kind of withdrawal. So be careful and make sure your doctors are understand this. I do think I remember reading that Benzos can cause depression.

I wish I knew some herbals that might help your neurological stuff heal. I take some ging Seng and other stuff to help me. nothing is dramatic, it's very subtle but I do feel better. No bodies in closets or fists full of hair.

Gilmer, I'm sorry I didn't say Hi in the first post, I meant to but didn't. sorry.

I'm hoping to see the lunar eclipse on the 14th/15th.

Oh I need to recommend a movie. It's an oldie with Albert Brooks titled "Defending your Life" with Meryl Strep about an afterlife. hilarious. Lots of fun metaphors.

I hope everyone has a decent sleep.

Love from Lenina

alphaomega

Rescue Remedy Sleep.

I can't tell you "how" it works, because the science behind it seems a wee bit nutso coo coo. But it works for me.

(My being up at 4:00 am is because the incision has gotten suddenly really ANGRY as I'm trying to ween myself off the Norco). Norco is no bueno to my brain chemistry.

It kinda makes me forget to breathe.

TigerLili

Rescue Remedy and other flower essences contain alcohol. Up to you whether you think the small amount of alcohol is worth the risk, but just be aware it has a base of alcohol.

courage2

I think NOT doing things is VERY good in very early sobriety. I completely understand the desire to pump yourself up to perform. But you don't have enough practice or tools to be confident about performing without a powerful urge to do it with caffeine or a drink in hand, Cow. So for now, just politely decline invitations that make those demands on you.

I've done plenty of declining. Sometimes not so politely. Some pretty important events. And there are some people whom drunk me was very fond of, whom I'll probably never talk to again, because I can't see any way to do it without wanting to drink in the most powerful way. I'm not jeopardizing my sobriety for anything. It's just not worth it -- risk the agony of another round of full-blown self-destructive bingeing that trickles down into secretive, numbing maintenance alcoholism, for the sake of listening to a symphony? That's what recordings are for.

Nowadays, after more than a year (minus a few weeks, see above agony) of practice, lots of tool learning, and Auntie D, I can handle performance pressure better. But a week of performing at high throttle, sober, still sent me into a tail spin over the last couple of days.

As for sleep, xanax is a mild benzo. So far I'm only taking them as Papa Xanax said, right before I try to sleep, and Papa doesn't think they'll become a problem. In my pre-sober life, I abused benzos occasionally, but they never grabbed me except on top of drinking. So unless I'm already drunk, I'm not incredibly worried about abusing them -- I didn't over the last week, and if a normal had had the week I had, you can bet they'd have popped a few xanax. I'm not wild about taking them, but it seems like a simple solution to one of my problems, which is shutting down my anxiety at the end of the day.

And it works ok. One thing I learned to my surprise over the last week is that antidepressants don't stop me from getting depressed. And xanax doesn't always stop me from fretting far into the wee hours. What they seem to do, only, is allow me to experience the depression and anxiety without being overwhelmed by them. Last year when things got bad as they eventually did, even though I was sober, I was completely overwhelmed by the fog -- I was wrapped up in it and fettered. I've never until now had the experience of being able to look at myself and say, "Hmm, I'm kind of depressed. Is there anything I can do to feel a little better, until it passes?"

I guess all I'm saying is that psycho-pharmaceuticals aren't the solution to all my problems, especially not my alcoholism, and I don't expect them to be. They just make it a little easier to make choices. I really don't want to get into living my whole life on the psycho Farm. I know people who do that, whose lives seem to be all about their medical management and treatment options. It seems sad and narrow, although maybe it's what they need.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend, Cow. Take a suggestion from Lenina and make it all about treating yourself well. Take a walk, buy some flowers, come home and be comfy, clean, and safe.

((Alpha, heal well and quickly))

courage2

Oh Cow, I know you'll think you feel too ploopy to do all that. But you can do it anyway, and you might not feel great, but the flowers will be better off for having been seen. Also you CAN call up someone, and say, "Take me for a walk, please." Last night I posted for encouragement to eat. Dee gave it to me. Ask for what you need

Elseware

Your writings on this thread are incredibly good for me. I wish to thank you all for your cleverness and insights. You do my dolorous personality a great uplifting. I'm so grateful to know I'm not alone. 2 months ago I started on the Auntie D's. Then they added Abilify. I was unable to sleep. Then they added Ambien. Now I think I'm gradually feeling better. Sleeping. Eating. Getting out of the house. I even went to a concert. Depression is very awful. I could use plenty of illegal language to describe it......but you know Dee. He has to keep us tidy.

But anyway, things are better for me.

On a side note: Lenina, I thought you were from Ireland for some reason. Did you used to live there? Or am I thinking of someone else?

Lenina

Elsewhere, I'm from LA, California, a native daughter. I have to travel for work and spend about half my time divided between the East Coast and across the Atlantic. lately, I've been in Ireland a good bit. I love it. My schedule changes a bit in the summer. I may be going to the middle east but hope I can change that. the security stuff is a nuisance. plus that one extra hour of time zone change does me in, crazy as that seems.

Cow, courage makes some good points about the flowers. Just having some Life around us helps, I think. How about some house plants? Nice low maintenance ones, like philodendrons or maybe pothos or Boston ferns. Wandering Jews are nice and easy. Plus, with the potted plants, you can talk to them and they might talk back. LOL (just kidding but Prince Charles thinks so too)

I really must rally and get out of the house.

Love from the CAL

Elseware

Oh, that explains it. I'm 4th generation Californian myself. although I live in Oregon now. But I'll always be from California

Gilmer

Cow, unlike you, I've got the black thumb. But I've got hyacinths that have thrived and spread. They started out scabrous and asymmetrical, but the offspring are perfect and beautiful in form. And they smell lovely! I get a whiff of them on the breeze all the way up the walkway! Would a lovely fragrance of hyacinth overstimulate you, though?

toddle118

i think little cow is asleepsie x we miss her when shes not around, ive found myself talking like her....oops forgot cow is male!

Lenina

Cow is male? I thought a male bovine was a Bull? No?? Oh now I'm so confused!

Love from CAL

toddle118

oh no, yes i think cow is male, oh no, all my embroidery gone to waste