This won't be all that enjoyable
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 98
I've been a womanizer. Worst thing I have ever done.
There are several girls I wish I could tell I love them. And somehow have them believe it. They were or Im sure are, good people. Man am I not. And so bad are my sins to these good people that it cannot be made up for. How bad am I? I'm horrible. I had a contest with my old roomates two years running over who couldl get the most girls. Thats how bad I am. I won. both years. seemed like some kind of right.
to each and every girl that ever loved me, I just want to say thanks. I'm sorry for all the cheating, and all the, well, cheating.
There are several girls I wish I could tell I love them. And somehow have them believe it. They were or Im sure are, good people. Man am I not. And so bad are my sins to these good people that it cannot be made up for. How bad am I? I'm horrible. I had a contest with my old roomates two years running over who couldl get the most girls. Thats how bad I am. I won. both years. seemed like some kind of right.
to each and every girl that ever loved me, I just want to say thanks. I'm sorry for all the cheating, and all the, well, cheating.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
You have more money than God which means you could theoretically send yourself to Promises in Malibu to clean up, get your sh1t together all the while being cared for with private chefs, hypnotherapy and acupuncture. You could pull a 30, 60 or. 90 day stint there.
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Hey inabadway - I've slept with more men than I care to think about and what's done is done - it doesn't mean that you are a bad person through and through. If you ever get a chance to personally say sorry to specific people, great, but if not, don't worry about it - just act the way you want to act from now on.
Wish I had something more profound to say but I don't (shrug). No judgement here, that's for sure.
Wish I had something more profound to say but I don't (shrug). No judgement here, that's for sure.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 233
What do you have to give this time around? Well you said you were a good parent to your boys, right?
How about experience? Sure, you're older, but that is what all us older people have to give! That is worth quite a bit right there.
How about experience? Sure, you're older, but that is what all us older people have to give! That is worth quite a bit right there.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Just a thought about guilt.
Sign of a soul? Maybe. Oportunity to take a hard look at things and make positive changes? sure.
But guilt can become it's own reward. I don't know you, so I am not saying you are or will do this, but sometimes we hide behind our guilt. Use it as a shield, as if our feeling SO bad about something means we are doing our penance. Sometimes guilt actually keeps us from moving on and doing the right thing. We mire in it, bathe in it, wallow in it, paint our lives with it. Hold it up as a banner that we have changed, feel regret.
It really is better for us and everyone else if we process our guilt, and move on and live a good life and do good, than to decide we are going to suffer and do penance the rest of our lives. Penance can be one of the most selfish indulgences of all.
Like I said, I'm not aiming this at you, it's just a thought that popped up in response to the word guilt.
Sign of a soul? Maybe. Oportunity to take a hard look at things and make positive changes? sure.
But guilt can become it's own reward. I don't know you, so I am not saying you are or will do this, but sometimes we hide behind our guilt. Use it as a shield, as if our feeling SO bad about something means we are doing our penance. Sometimes guilt actually keeps us from moving on and doing the right thing. We mire in it, bathe in it, wallow in it, paint our lives with it. Hold it up as a banner that we have changed, feel regret.
It really is better for us and everyone else if we process our guilt, and move on and live a good life and do good, than to decide we are going to suffer and do penance the rest of our lives. Penance can be one of the most selfish indulgences of all.
Like I said, I'm not aiming this at you, it's just a thought that popped up in response to the word guilt.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Eek! That sounds a bit rough going. Yeah, was probably not a good thing but does this reflect you now?? If not, then it is something that is still in the past. Past actions do not determine your future.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Glad to see you here today, inabadway.
Most of us have a lot to feel ashamed or guilty or remorseful about. That's nothing impressive.
Learning to live with yourself without drinking over it is impressive.
Most of us have a lot to feel ashamed or guilty or remorseful about. That's nothing impressive.
Learning to live with yourself without drinking over it is impressive.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by inabadway
Doesn't everybody get horny when they sober up? God but I do. Almost literally uncontrollably.
And as long as I'm being honest on an alcohol forum, I suppose I should confess that I'm pretty sure that getting wasted and knocking up the local bartender has ended my last relationship. I possess an ability to be a dumbass like no other.
And as long as I'm being honest on an alcohol forum, I suppose I should confess that I'm pretty sure that getting wasted and knocking up the local bartender has ended my last relationship. I possess an ability to be a dumbass like no other.
I'm pretty sure myself and several others could give you a run for your money in the dumbass catagory.
Originally Posted by inabadway
well I guess since i'm going to spend the day with the guilts, I'll just fess up.
I once, but back in those days it was cool to drink, drove my car into my dormitory. just rammed it right in there. Got out of it too, I talked my way out of the entire thing. Scott free.
Thats my biggest problem. right now, racked with the guilts, I could impress everyone at some meeting. Its simple, really, everybody wants to be impressive, give them that and they give you the world.
Once my old business partner and I got hammered and drove around stealing stuff. I personally own the sign from the nearest liquor store, I stole it at 24.
I used to be a good driver, won several autocrosses, ****** all that up by being a drunk
If I get braver I'll talk about girls.
I once, but back in those days it was cool to drink, drove my car into my dormitory. just rammed it right in there. Got out of it too, I talked my way out of the entire thing. Scott free.
Thats my biggest problem. right now, racked with the guilts, I could impress everyone at some meeting. Its simple, really, everybody wants to be impressive, give them that and they give you the world.
Once my old business partner and I got hammered and drove around stealing stuff. I personally own the sign from the nearest liquor store, I stole it at 24.
I used to be a good driver, won several autocrosses, ****** all that up by being a drunk
If I get braver I'll talk about girls.
Sounds like you're in a good place to move forward, that's great!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am really glad you decided to join us on the sober train. Try to stay hydrated and drink a LOT of gatorade or other sport drinks. As far as the guilt goes, it can be addressed later, recovery is a process and we need to keep in mind : "first things first".
Your immediate priority is to detox and I am glad you are doing it, I understand you not wanting to take any pills (some people have hang ups that way) but if the shakes get really bad or you start seeing things or hearing things, call an ambulance. It could be a sign of the DTs.
Your mind is probably racing at a thousand mile an hour and it is also part of the detox process. Try to put on a silly movie (a comedy would be good) to keep it from wandering in dark corners and of course keep posting here.
Oh and why don't you sign up here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4343136 just put the time and that you commit to stay sober for the next 24 hours. I know it sounds very simple but it does work!
Your immediate priority is to detox and I am glad you are doing it, I understand you not wanting to take any pills (some people have hang ups that way) but if the shakes get really bad or you start seeing things or hearing things, call an ambulance. It could be a sign of the DTs.
Your mind is probably racing at a thousand mile an hour and it is also part of the detox process. Try to put on a silly movie (a comedy would be good) to keep it from wandering in dark corners and of course keep posting here.
Oh and why don't you sign up here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4343136 just put the time and that you commit to stay sober for the next 24 hours. I know it sounds very simple but it does work!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: US
Posts: 637
You come across as an all-out, hard charging, passionate, make it happen kind of guy. I can relate. Leverage those traits into your sobriety action plan and you'll do well. Try to let a doctor know what your doing so your withdrawals can be medically monitored. Maybe the horny part is because it's the only thing that can take your mind off the withdrawal pains. Hangovers always did that to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 98
this day has truly sucked. All I can think about is my folly and how the boys might know their dad is a worthless drunk.
I want a bottle so bad. But I'll just see it through, I never want liquor as much when I'm sober. Just when I'm already drunk, if that makes sense
I want a bottle so bad. But I'll just see it through, I never want liquor as much when I'm sober. Just when I'm already drunk, if that makes sense
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