inabadway

the horny is a killer man, just a killer.

inabadway

i am a total screwup. I had a girlfriend not even 2/3 myage hottest girl in the room most anywhere. So I did the wise thing and got wasted, banged the local bartender, and it look like I have twins on the way.

You couldn't even write a book about a bigger screwup. What the heck will i tell my 3 sons? "don't worry, dad got ********* and ruined our good family name?"

I suck

Dee74

Most of us have terrible stories of the things we did to ourselves and others.
you;'re in great company here - we understand

SR is a great resource inabadway.

You can sit there and beat yourself up and sit in despair here day after day...or you could start making plans to change things, to fix things, and start a chapter 2 of your life.

I know which one worked better for me

D

Carlotta

What about: I realized that I have a serious problem with alcohol and I am now in recovery and addressing my issues. One of the consequences of my drinking is that I engaged in casual unprotected sex and impregnated a woman.
I intend to step up to the plate and be a good father to your younger siblings like I was to you and I hope you will support me.

Raider

Horny??? Hahahahahahah. At home detox, I was sweating/freezing so bad for three days, horny never entered my mind. Not laughing at you, just can't relate at all.

Grungehead

If you have been drinking for long enough they probably already know.

inabadway

well I just jumped and took some steps. I called each of the boys, and my current business partner, and my old business partner, and my brother, and my dad and I just basically explained what had happened.

I left out the booze part to dad and the boys, but I just basically said I'd done this thing, I said I wouldn't love them any less, my dad and I got in a bit of an argument. But I reminded him I bought my sisters condo and paid off his farm and I was all growed up, so to speak.

It went ok. I was stone cold sober, so that hugely helped. I was reminded by talking to the boys that I actually did well at that.

I reached out to the new mother and just said I had no idea what to say, but I would volunteer for the max child support. No strings, if she didn't want me around I wouldn't be. I told her sorry, she said she wasn't mad. I explained I was a cheating turd who wasn't dating material, she said she knew that all along.

I think I was actually a pretty decent person today, at the end of the day.

One of the boys said he never thought I was perfect, which was a weird comment. I asked why, he said I was a crappy tutor. I said he got all as and bs, he said he was never upset, and he got those grades himself. perfect answer. its strange how grown up kids are. I just told him I'd always treated them all like adults. They not one time got hit, not one time was anybody allowed to drink or smoke at our house. He just said I'd done good enough and he was happy.

inabadway

its so funny how the power flips in parent child relationships. I remember the exact minute my own parents had no more over me. I called to tell them my oldest son was on the way, I was just a kid. I knew they'd be incredibly mad. I explained I had a job and didn't need money from them, I said to my Dad "i'll call you in a week, but I'm not going to be yelled at today"

And that was it. I was the power person after that. My dad never again raised his voice to me, or if he did, he quieted down if I raised mine back.

I am very glad to say that I gave up power over my own sons willingly and without conflict. And I am terribly terribly glad they could take it. That is something to be grateful for. They will all do well.

My dad once said, although we have definitely not had a good relationship, he was a good man. He said the saddest thing in his whole life was us growing up. Because he missed what we used to be every time we aged. But, he said, it would have been sadder if we hadn't.

inabadway

im not brave enough yet to tell dad or the boys that I drink too much.

Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't.

jaynie04

inabadway…I met the drunk you last night. But I have to say I really like the sober you.

inabadway

This is the first time in my entire life that I've opened up.

I'm terribly honest, in a round about way thats the trick to love and business. But I never speak of myself, not once, not ever, not to anyone.

its dang refreshing.

inabadway

oh man maybe I should dwell on the good things, I sure beat myself up alot over the lady day.

i am such a sinner, i couldn't even begin to list it all. but I have done a few good things. And i guess one of those was my most important job. I got 3 sons doing well, college, the works. I did that without their mom. She was a good person. Truly. Sucks.

I have invented stuff, and started companies, that no doubt sell products somewhere near you. I guess you could say I impacted the world a tiny bit.

In that way I made use of my talent, which is mostly my brain, in drinking I suppose I waste it.

Almost 24 hours now.

inabadway

thanks, I am kind of an ass wehn drunk aren't i?

I'll do my best.

hokey

I agree with Janie I followed your posts last night and off and on today and I think we're really starting to see the real you now. And I think that real you really wants to be sober. I'm happy that you didn't drink today, I've been rooting for you ... even when you were being not-so-nice. You CAN do this, you are NOT a "loser" or a "total screw-up". You (like me and probably many other people on this forum) have made some really bad choices when drinking. That doesn't make you a bad person. Onward and upward inabadway, you made it through day one and that is a HUGE accomplishment.

Grungehead

inabadway,

I just stopped by to catch up on your thread and reread my post and noticed that it was poorly worded. My intent was to say that your boys may already know you drink too much, not that you are a worthless drunk (because you're not). I was surprised how many people knew I had a drinking problem when I thought I was doing a pretty good job concealing it.

BTW you are sounding much better tonight.

feeling-good

inabadway - each 24 hours or each hour down is more time sober. I like what you have been saying in the last few hours. We're all here with you.

Tamerua

I've been following the threads but haven't chimed in. You're doing great. Why not get out for a walk or something, get your mind off of the negative crap? I was the same way after my last drink, thinking I was the worst person in the world. Slowly that had lifted. Thank god.

Do you have a plan on staying sober once the detox is done? I agree that one of the facilities sounds great. Meetings are good too. Just a thought, it is good to have a game plan so that you can recover and get rid of all that baggage.

George3334

Inabadway,

In your posts, you strike me as a very intelligent goal-setting man with high achievements when you set your mind to the task. Seems to me that you have a new goal; to right the ship and get yourself healthy. That's an admirable goal. I wish you the best. I also appreciate your comment about the trick to love and business - "honesty"... I'm going to remember this and work to apply this technique more as I tend to be on the bashful side.

inabadway

being on this site is awesome. let it all hang out.

but I did forget to mention one major aspect of the big hangover: the pooping. As the body rehydrates and cleans up man it must be 10 or more over a day. Starting with a hard dehydrated one and progressing to complete blow outs. Then ones butthole starts to hurt so bad you have to go get the baby wipes.

Thats reason enough right there to stay off the sauce.

inabadway

Is anybody here a doctor? Why does one sweat so much after drinking? I know the basic theory of toxins and stuff, but oh man you could have wrung my sweatshirt out when I woke up. Must have been a quart or more. And it stinks

normally if I sweat its not stinky, but the hangover sweats just stink.