Whiterhino24

My wife filed separation papers a month ago due to my drinking so I went off the deep end and drank non stop. Drank until I passed out woke up started drinking until I passed out again for two weeks straight. Finally after scaring myself with almost death I drove to my parents house and fell into their arms for help. They were upset but they were there for me. Dad took me to the er for detox meds the next day went to my family doctor to get more detox meds and detoxed at my parents house for the next few days. That was one week ago today. I am waiting for my insurance to approve inpatient treatment but its like pulling teeth with them and they are fighting me. Going to my parents was the best thing that has happened to me because they care and they are working with me to get the help I need. I am living with them until I go to inpatient because I know if I am by myself it will be harder to not drink. I turn 36 tomorrow and they are still there.

FeenixxRising

Well, IMO that's not true, but I don't want to quibble. What's important is that you seek help for your situation. I strongly suggest you at least see a Doctor and tell him/her you want help with withdrawals. And if you can swing it, you should probably try another inpatient detox.

BTW, you're not an idiot, you just feel like one. We've all been there.

jvice09

the problem is, ive been lying to everybody. they all think ive learned my lesson from the previous detoxes this year. im in full fight or flight mode as they like to call it right now.

MemphisBlues

Dude, you might be able to hit an ER and tell them you a detoxing. You could score a couple days of meds, and here we strongly urge medical assistance for detox. If you've done it before a couple of time, you know why.

Posting and reading here is a great place to start, but we can't prevent seizures.

jvice09

honestly, just looking for a person, non god/12step throat crammer to talk to.

longbeachone

You aren't a fan of God, or AA. And how is that working for you?

jvice09

get lost longbeach. those things dont get trough to me. im trying to find something that works for me.

jvice09

im a fan of aa and anything god related because it saves so many lives. its just not my jig ya know? im being difficult but looking for someone like me to talk some sense into me.

fancycat

I'm 27 years old as well and have detoxed 6 times in the past year. I'm 13 days sober since my last binge. I've had every single person I know angry with me. Boyfriend, father, close friends, my boss. They all thought I was doing well after each detox but I lied to each of them and soon it all came crashing down this last detox and they all knew. YES, they were angry, but all of those people were still THERE for me. Their anger was justifiable, but they just wanted the best for me in the end. My boyfriend took me to the ER on his birthday 2 weeks ago. Imagine my humiliation in that. If I can get through this, you can. We are both lucky to be young and still have a chance to live a long sober life. I'm in an intense outpatient treatment program now, which I never did before, and plan on doing everything I can to stay sober. Dealing with the after math of my mistakes I made while drunk has been truly rough. But I feel so proud of myself each day I am able to overcome a new obstacle that comes my way while sober. You can do this!

ScottFromWI

What have you tried so far?

Whiterhino24

I am not a god or 12 step guy either. I am only sober because I went to my parents in shame and they helped me. It was the third time this year I just sucked it up and asked for help. Now they are helping me get into an inpatient program that is based on the 12 step program and when I talked with my counselor about my concerns with it he said he didn't believe in the whole 12 step process and he has helped hundreds of people with addiction. He told me to just learn what I liked and didn't like about it and use what helps me and disregard the rest.

jvice09

thats all they teach you. any suggestions on a book or anything?

Whiterhino24

The Four Agreements has helped me.

jvice09

im young. frustrated. looking for sound advice.

jvice09

i understand i have to give up my whole lifestyle and it sucks! im just looking for a mentor..

StevenT

My experience is AA, just figured I'd throw that out there.

That being said, AA is by no means the only path, as you have said. I myself went through a treatment program when I was 17-18, my mom put me in it because she was tired of me stealing her pot and liquor. Later she had me arrested for stealing those things because treatment didn't work for me.

The reality is that I didn't work treatment. The program I went through taught me ways on how to exercise my willpower in a way so as to not drink or use. I didn't want it and I didn't use it so it didn't work.

The AA program teaches that real alcoholics are powerless to not take the first drink, that left to our own devices we will eventually pick up, that our will will crumble at some point, and that the only way to long sobriety is finding the power to not drink, usually outside ourself. The word god is used in association with that power, however it does not hold monopoly on that power. I know many who work the AA program without a "god" in their life.

However, if this is still not for you I won't push, for there are other methods available. I've seen people get sober here on this board, and seen people stay sober here. I've seen people get sober using the RR (rational recovery) method and stay sober that way. I've seen plenty of people get sober on willpower, but very few have stayed sober on willpower.

Being here might be enough for you. It sounds like a mentor is important to you, so I'd say run with that. Find that person on here that you can be in contact with, whether it be meeting at a time and PMing, or jumping in the chat room in a private room, or exchanging numbers or whatever the case may be. It sounds like you are serious about being tired of running the cycle of alcoholism, so what worked for me is creating a new cycle. Forming new habits through time and stubbornness.

Willpower will be necessary. Even in the AA program willpower is required. Just as the consequences of drinking are hard, so is the journey of recovery hard, no matter the exact path you take. But it can and has been done, and will be done again in the future. Only you can decide if this is something you can do.

I wish you the best, and hope to continue to see you on SR,

jvice09

im basically trying to get out of the game as discretely as possible. ive been lying to people for too long

dwtbd

jvice09

I wish I had realized and found the determination to do something about my addiction when I was younger. So glad to hear you are being so proactive.
Have you read through all the forums on this site? There are many paths and ideas on ending addiction.
I found RR and AVRT to be tremendously helpful.
Keep your resolve, wish I had your courage when I was your age.

jvice09

im no saint, im actually just a dumbass that threw in the towel when i realized i had a problem at a young age. looking for something that works for me.

zjw

I sobered up alone. Didnt do AA or anything. I wanted to smash things I was climbing the walls with anxiety etc.. it was aweful and stayed aweful for a while. I just had to suck it up and grin and bear it. there was no magical pill tho I looked really hard for one. I tried this herbal remedy that vitamin this tea etc.. Sure somethings helped other things where a waste but then again reading about them and learning about them and taking the time to try them generally helped pass the time and was one more day sober not everything was a loss.

A year later I signed up here people recomneded AA to me. mainly because I guess I felt i was somehow special unique or like my problems where somehow different then the rest of the worlds etc.. On a whim I did it I went to a bunch of meetings then life got busy and I quit going. I found it beneficial. But no one there ever really reached out to me and me being rather anti social I never really reached out to them. I tried to make friends with one person who ran from me like i was diseased. I Guess people have there own little clicks in AA and if your not part of em your out. I didnt let it get to me too much as I wasnt there to make friends but It would have been nice to meet a couple folks to help pick my brain and theres etc..

I dont think AA is the end all be all. I wont say its a bad program it works for some I got some benefits from it. I never really followed steps per say. I read them was like yeah I sorta did all this in the past year just in a more abstract way etc..