NewBeginning010

Be very carefull still & also be prepared to get up & leave if you feel like your are slipping at all... no need to fight any big battles now or prove any points today. Keep your guard up & just make sure you dont pick up that first drink.

Are you sure you are ready for this. It sounds like you have been on the edge a bit.

Take care & come on here if you need too.... even from your phone if you can ;-)

We are here for you

BillyPilgrim

Hi Rachel, I know what you mean, I like the quiet country ones. I sat outside my favourite pub (the station bar at Stalybridge) last night whilst waiting for a connection. Didnt feel strong enough to go in on my own and keep from the horrid weather.

I think you may need a babelfish for our American friends there. I have used trollied and kalied and bobbins on this site, in the secure knowledge I am blathering to them.

Boy was it bad this morning, the Pennines were thick. Stillsleeping thinks its like that all the time here.

stillsleeping

Coke, lol...I didn't think that through huh? Maybe an orange and soda.

And I can't go anywhere, really, apart from just walking out and wandering around until they've finished and I can get my lift home bah.

It'll be okay. There's no way I'm going to drink - my resolve is solid, there's no conflict. This is just anger, and I guess a bit of grief, and mostly big, fat, white-knuckle cravings. And I need to get used to ignoring them. This is the first pub trip, and one person in my party knows I'm in recovery, so if I get weird she'll cover for me.

But I love knowing you guys are keeping watch. Thanks xxx

stillsleeping

Babelfish! Brilliant!

In the midlands we used blathering for talking nonsense. And pickled means cold, not drunk.

Kellye C

This IS your disease talking. It lies, it deceives and bottom line it wants you DEAD. I used to cuss my disease up and down. F U FU FU FU til it calmed down. I did AA so I would also drive like my *ss was on fire to a meeting, get on the phone with my sponsor, etc. I didn't find SR til I was a year sober or you can beat your sweet butt I would have been on here too.

Fight it! PLEASE!!!

Hugs,
Kellye

stillsleeping

Thanks Kellye Yeah, the stings of profanity were spectacular last night - I have a complete potty mouth on a good day! I don't know how you did this without SR. Full respect dude xxx

nel68

Hang in there stillsleeping I'm on day 95...I can't tell you when I have been 95 days sober (20 something years ago) and I drank hard every night plus I'm a female which alcohol is harder on us then men...I heard.....Its tough at times but I keep thinking how sick I would of got if I didn't stop, its what really helps me....sounds sad that I have to use that/sickness as a reminder to stay or be sober but it is, what it is ...for me......Hang in there girlie

Kellye C

Like Nel I drank hard every night (towards then end it became 24/7 as I was so physically addicted to it that I would go into withdrawals if I went more than a couple hours without some.) I am also female and also have a surgery that basically sent alcohol straight to the liver. It took me 3.5 years start to finish to almost kill myself and cause my kidneys and liver much grief and potential disaster.

I know that had I not quit when I did that I would have been dead (or wished even more so that I was than I already did) in a year or under. Alcohol was (is) poison to me so in my mind I began equating alcohol with bleach. Every time a drink crossed my mind I envisioned myself tilting up a big gallon of bleach and taking a swig. Not very appealing!!

Withdrawals for me were pure hell on earth and the only way I made it through them was to tell myself (when my mind and my body were begging for a drink... just one ....) was to remind myself that if I could just make it through them this time then I didn't ever have to go through it again if I didn't choose to. In the almost 8 years since I have yet to find anything so good or so bad that alcohol would make better and plenty that it would make so much worse!

Hang in there, sounds like you have a better grip now. You are doing great lady, just keep it up.

Hugs,
Kellye

RevivingOphelia

I'm thinking of you and hope you get through the challenge of pub time with the coworkers (this would be huge for me as well).

Also, I can so relate with your OP asking "How do you switch the world off?" This is exactly why I drink...for that sense of momentary peace w/o the stress and anxiety of daily messes.

Anyway, thanks for the visitor message...at that point, I still had to post more to be able to use that feature.

Good luck to you and awesome about the running (I, too, have been exercising to try to combat the urges!).

Best to you!

stillsleeping

Oh, have only just noticed your post count - I did wonder why you hadn't said hello!

Man, that thing frustrated the hell out of me at first heh heh. I'd been a lurker, researching actually, for a while, then saw someting I wanted to reply to so joined up. Then: can't send a private message until I've made 40 posts? 40??? I didn't know if I had that much to say about alcoholism!

Ha. Turns out I can talk about alcoholism all day. The rest is history.

xxx

coffeenut

Still....don't forget to breathe. Seriously. 3 deep cleansing breaths. Slow and easy.

Calm.

stillsleeping

Haha! I don't know how!

Seriously - how do you do that? Where is calm? Can I run there? I could build a bridge maybe... or climb really high...

Oh, I just tried the breathing thing. That was actually kinda cool. And my lungs are bigger than they were...thanks to the jogging. And we're back to runnin around, heh

:uzi2:

Oops! Who did that? That wasn't me, I swear.



xxx

ReadyAndAble

Well, you already have a solid sense of humor, so you have a major advantage right there. You're open-minded, and that's super useful. And you obviously have decent running shoes, which are not only good for exercise, but can help you to get out of all sorts of trouble.

I'd say the only thing you might need is a bit more time. And yeah, time is kind of like a bridge, come to think of it...

PS: If it gets really crazy, there's no rule against a fourth deep cleansing breath.

Relayer

Hi.. or good afternoon (morning here)!! Hope the rest of your day goes well. The pub thing will be a great challenge, but use your "inner-potty mouth" to scream at yourself if you get the urges/cravings there!!!The run on the beach probably will have helped a bit to get some ya ya's out. If you get any pressure and aren't ready to share the no-drinking thing with your colleagues yet, just say your stomach is a little off or something like that. Best of luck. Can't wait to hear how it went.

Beanie1961

Zoloft!!

Relayer

LOL... you can build a bridge! I'm going to, as of now, but it's a mental bridge. That's a brilliant analogy to concentrate on... thinking of the "process" just as one would physically build a bridge. I like it!!!

stillsleeping

Haha! yeah, it's either run away or take a punch...I can take a punch

Thanks guys. We're off now. Cleansing breath, cleansing breath...

xxx

BillyPilgrim

Tea ss
tea

stillsleeping

Heh thanks billy. Have ordered orange an soda. They think I'm weird. I dont see the point of being in a pub if im not drinking. We just had a conversation at school. It went on for like an hour. Why do we need to take that conversation to the pub? Ugh. I didnt have any say in this. What a pain in the ass. I have no idea how long we're goin to be here. They dont even serve food.
Thank fck for smartphones

akberry

And it's tomorrow, yeah, stay strong. Keep coming back to SR, I've only been with SR for 5 days and I was sceptical at first, however I have found peace, kindness and wisdom and direction from so many of the posts.