okay, stop the car, I want out
 

Time out,okay? I want a break. I want a fckn BREAK. I am so very tired of this stupid, relentless, tireless rolling day, this monkey on my back that just keeps yelling...when does it stop? How are you supposed to put up with this? How do people put UP with this? If you don't drink, ever, how do you switch the world off? When do you get a break???

I know this is temporary. I know that I can get back to daisies and rainbows and runnin on the stones and sobriety will seem worth it again...

...but right now I want out.

hi I'm on day 2, this time around. Quit for 3 weeks in Feb but only lasted 3 weeks. I felt like you do now. I just wanted out, for a while, to forget about reality, but I didn't want to shut the whole world out, I wanted to be back with the other drinkers, the only company I wanted. I was drunk from then til 2 days ago. It was really not worth it. You know that, please be strong, find a way to get the monkey from your back. Drink is not the answer, you know that.

Hey Still.... I read a phrase from some sort of goofy, yet right on person: "Sobriety sucks, being a drunk sucks worse!" I dunno... I keep remembering that and it seems to help remind me. The point is, sobriety is not daisies and rainbows, it's just experiencing life as it is and not covering up the painful stuff like we want to do. Ya know? Pleeeeeeeze try and hang in there. How many days completely off for you, honestly? I'm only on day 5 after a major relapse and just beginning to feel better.

Thanks Rachel, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I'm here online with you guys, not drinking. Man, this place is saving my skin...

It's just so messed up how you can go from feelin okay, got it under control, to way over my head messed up.

Sometimes I think I exaggerate my drinking problem, like I'm being melodramatic or something. I think if I just got a sense of perspective I'd be like everyone else. Then there's this, and I want to drink the world.

I want to drink the world.

Scream hun
On phone so can't be fancy x
YouTube - Network- I'm Mad as Hell

The last time I quit, I was sober for 11 months and it was the best 11 months I had in 10 years!! Seriously... I just incredibly and stupidly got over confident and thought I could handle it again. This last relapse was the very last one!!! I completely know the difference now and you deserve to have the best life you possibly can. It isn't in alcohol or drugs.... believe me. Hang on.

Heh :) you're always kind of fancy xxx

Thanks dude. I believe that. I really do. I just want to find the switch in my brain that turns off wanting it.

I really appreciate you responding. x

"Sometimes I think I exaggerate my drinking problem, like I'm being melodramatic or something. I think if I just got a sense of perspective I'd be like everyone else. Then there's this, and I want to drink the world."

Still... that's the sneaky alcohol voice in your mind trying to trick you. Learn to recognize its voice and and yes, scream at it "NO.... I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE!!!!!!!" "F%#K YOU!!!!" LOL... even if you have to yell it in your head. :)

No problem, hope everyone here helps you. Do anything to distract yourself... even if it's just sitting on this site. Getting out a bit and walking with some fresh air helps too. Best hopes!

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I am also sorry to say I don't know the answer to your question yet. I have a couple of ideas, one of which being that we don't stop the world turning we can't. That being said one of the most difficult things that we are going to have to learn is to face days like you must be having without the instant "off" switch of alcohol. We are going to have to find a different switch, some excersize, some read, some play video games, some come here.

As far as the desire to drink my solution was RR/AVRT, and making my big plan to Never drink again. Completley elliminate drinking as an answer to anything. Then put AVRT into practice, to be fair I actually learned them the other way around but put them into practice in that order.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way Sleeping, and hope you feel better soon, I really hope you feel better before you start drinking and therefore don't. Let me know either way. What happened also? Why the freakout?

Edit: it seems I am a little late to the party and I am glad to see you are doing better now.

Early sobriety is like a roller coaster ride--sometimes you want to keep on riding because it is fun & feels good....other times you want off because it makes you feel sick. I had to keep reminding myself that being sober makes you feel the emotions, feelings & reality so much more than the numbness of drinking days. Bit by bit it gets easier.

Thanks again guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. It's like a panic thing, you know? There's nothing here, no danger, no trigger, no anything. I'm fine. Except I'm crying and shaking and, yeah, panicking. God, how lame. Get a fckn grip.

Sober is better. Sober is good. But I haven't passed out drunk in a month and I just want to switch off. I want to be unconscious. Oblivion, for a while. Reset. Shake the etch-a-sketch.

Aggghhhhhh!!!!

And yet I can't help checking out the other threads and makin sure everyone's okay. Idiot teachers. Go. To. Sleep. You are no help to anyone now.

can't sleep yet. exhausted but not tired. read around a bit. see how everyone's sober and it's better this way. fall asleep on your keyboard an start again tomorrow...

I have those days to. Last week I was actually missing rehab. It was very simple there.

Just because we're alkies doesn't mean we don't get to be overwhelmed, pi**ed off and nuts. Just like the rest of humanity. Most conditions are temporary. I like to sit in my workshop and do...well, nothing. Really nothing. Just be very still and wait until I'm ready to rejoin the world. Stay away from power tools, too.

Haha! Thanks. Made me laugh.

Great letting your emotions out!!! :) I wanna check out and turn the world off too... but we both know how that turns out. So... you're on the correct path!!!

Yeah, can't pick an choose, right? Okay. I'm good. Bring on tomorrow...

Thanks all
xxx

"fall asleep......and start again tomorrow".... sounds like a good plan, still sleeping. Think I'll join you.

But first .......I'm eating chocolate.

Haha! Thanks LDT xxx

Keep at it :) The feeling will pass, you've done the best thing venting on here. Wish I'd done that as it would have stopped my relapse. Life is **** sometimes but alcohol won't change that :)