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Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
Hopefully.. Not sure what Im going to say though.. "hi, I'm an alcoholic .. Can you give me yet more addictive sustances?"
Oof, really going through the mill here. Down to my last glass of wine.. No more available as everything is closed here in the UK. It's going to be a long night. Hot and sweaty, but alas not in the romantic way...
Oof, really going through the mill here. Down to my last glass of wine.. No more available as everything is closed here in the UK. It's going to be a long night. Hot and sweaty, but alas not in the romantic way...
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
I know. I fully intend to tell him the truth. And my next plan is to get fully back into AA. Im just slightly panicking about the next few hours. The night lies ahead, with all its demons. Recovery seems a long way off just now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 79
Hi Sally, I just wanted to say that we support you! You mention of daffodils made me think of Wordsworth. Maybe you can think of the happy times with your husband when you seen them:
Daffodils
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
-William Wordsworth
And if that doesn't help then Leonard Cohen sounds great. Take care and be safe. x
Daffodils
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
-William Wordsworth
And if that doesn't help then Leonard Cohen sounds great. Take care and be safe. x
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
I'm much much better. But I do feel very weak. Am staying in bed today with lots of sweet tea. I'll do everything I can to get to a meeting tonight, but if I feel too groggy I'll go tomorrow.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hi, Sally. Instead of identifying with the drinker, the widow, the heartbroken person, instead of looking out through her eyes, try watching her. Be the observer of the person with these feelings, with these issues. Let those feelings just be. They exist, they are real, that's true, but just observe them, don't become them.
And keep posting, OK? There is a lot of support here for you. We are all pulling for you!
And keep posting, OK? There is a lot of support here for you. We are all pulling for you!
Sally1009
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
Thank you, Freshstart. Those are some interesting ideas. A bit like mindfulness. I shall try doing what you suggest. It's all too easy to get stuck in an identity.., and you're right - I think I have become "grieving widow/ drinker". And being in that role, I sort of live up to it.
Maybe at the very least I could now drop the drinker role.
Thank you again for your kind words
Maybe at the very least I could now drop the drinker role.
Thank you again for your kind words
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 45
Hello Sally
I don't know your whole story as I only joined yesterday, but I really feel for you. I know how grief can affect us. I lost my dad last year and that was the trigger which put me where I am today. Since then I've been out of control.
This is the week I'm going to regain that control.
I wish you all the very best. This site is amazing with all the support you get from people.
Take care
I don't know your whole story as I only joined yesterday, but I really feel for you. I know how grief can affect us. I lost my dad last year and that was the trigger which put me where I am today. Since then I've been out of control.
This is the week I'm going to regain that control.
I wish you all the very best. This site is amazing with all the support you get from people.
Take care
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