Just don't know how
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
Thanks to all of you.I slipped up again yesterday.My wife was not happy at all.I realize I cannot do this alone.It has to much of a grip on me.I need to learn to "live" without it,and that is beyond my comprehension.So I will seek AA.I have my first meeting tuesday.I also stutter which makes this a even more of a challenge for me.I need to break the chains that hold me back.Have a great weekend friends!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
ATTABOY STUBBS.
Other than being polite (merely introducing yourself) you needn't feel obliged to say anything at all. Sit. Relax. Listen to the music of recovery. In time you will learn all the words and be able to sing along too DO ask questions.
blessings
zb
Other than being polite (merely introducing yourself) you needn't feel obliged to say anything at all. Sit. Relax. Listen to the music of recovery. In time you will learn all the words and be able to sing along too DO ask questions.
blessings
zb
Self Recovered with AVRT
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 108
Yes, way to go, Stubbs. You actually can break those chains, as is evidenced by so many others here. Like Dee often points out, it requires action. So, congratulations on taking steps to overcome your drinking problem. I am rooting for you, for sure.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
Thanks a lot guys.I went to church tonight for a funtion and met one of the guys from AA.He is doing great said he would go with me to all different meetings around the area.Really nice to meet him and glad there are good people out there.Good evening to you all.Thanks again for the support!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by langkah 
Really great thread, brought back a lot of memories for me.
'I don't know if it's really a problem...ok, it's a problem.'
'I'm not sure if I need to actually stop or not...ok, I need to stop.'
'I can fix this...ok, I can't fix this.'
'I don't want to do anything to help myself...ok, I need to do something.'
Really beautiful and balanced. As are the things to come. The next one is 'I'll do this and it will be plenty good enough...'
'I don't know if it's really a problem...ok, it's a problem.'
'I'm not sure if I need to actually stop or not...ok, I need to stop.'
'I can fix this...ok, I can't fix this.'
'I don't want to do anything to help myself...ok, I need to do something.'
Really beautiful and balanced. As are the things to come. The next one is 'I'll do this and it will be plenty good enough...'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
AA meeting
Well I went to my first AA meeting lastnight.I went alone as it was a closed meeintg.Probably better for me anyways.I have mixed feelings about it.I could relate with all the members in there.The thing that turned me off was how it is structured.How you have to say your an alcoholic and your name everytime you speak and just little things like that.And also how they say this is the only way they can stay sober is by attending these meetings all the time.I could see how the program could help though.I will be attending another meeting.I can't pass judgment on one meeting.Well hope everyone has a great day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Good you went, hope you arrived early enough to shake some hands and let the people know that you're new.
One reason for the self-identification is to level the playing field. Each member is in a way admitting something is deficient about themselves and in that respect alone they are like all the others there. It restates succinctly why they are there and the few words are an unspoken admission of having experienced the struggles that are commonplace living the drinking life.
People often will talk about the importance of making a lot of meetings. If you've ever learned to play a musical intrument then you know the benefits of practicing. Someone who picks up a guitar several times a week is going to very quickly be a better guitarist than someone who plays a few times a month.
The steps are how people in AA recover from alcoholism. Often new people get the impression that meetings are a viable answer for their problem and if they buy that they get worse until they drink again. That's the best case.
Observing is good, participating is better. Raising your questions about things that are unclear is honest and helps things along. Too often new people keep quiet and interpret important aspects incorrectly for themselves instead of asking for explainations and getting them right.
One reason for the self-identification is to level the playing field. Each member is in a way admitting something is deficient about themselves and in that respect alone they are like all the others there. It restates succinctly why they are there and the few words are an unspoken admission of having experienced the struggles that are commonplace living the drinking life.
People often will talk about the importance of making a lot of meetings. If you've ever learned to play a musical intrument then you know the benefits of practicing. Someone who picks up a guitar several times a week is going to very quickly be a better guitarist than someone who plays a few times a month.
The steps are how people in AA recover from alcoholism. Often new people get the impression that meetings are a viable answer for their problem and if they buy that they get worse until they drink again. That's the best case.
Observing is good, participating is better. Raising your questions about things that are unclear is honest and helps things along. Too often new people keep quiet and interpret important aspects incorrectly for themselves instead of asking for explainations and getting them right.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by langkah
Good you went, hope you arrived early enough to shake some hands and let the people know that you're new.
One reason for the self-identification is to level the playing field. Each member is in a way admitting something is deficient about themselves and in that respect alone they are like all the others there. It restates succinctly why they are there and the few words are an unspoken admission of having experienced the struggles that are commonplace living the drinking life.
People often will talk about the importance of making a lot of meetings. If you've ever learned to play a musical intrument then you know the benefits of practicing. Someone who picks up a guitar several times a week is going to very quickly be a better guitarist than someone who plays a few times a month.
The steps are how people in AA recover from alcoholism. Often new people get the impression that meetings are a viable answer for their problem and if they buy that they get worse until they drink again. That's the best case.
Observing is good, participating is better. Raising your questions about things that are unclear is honest and helps things along. Too often new people keep quiet and interpret important aspects incorrectly for themselves instead of asking for explainations and getting them right.
One reason for the self-identification is to level the playing field. Each member is in a way admitting something is deficient about themselves and in that respect alone they are like all the others there. It restates succinctly why they are there and the few words are an unspoken admission of having experienced the struggles that are commonplace living the drinking life.
People often will talk about the importance of making a lot of meetings. If you've ever learned to play a musical intrument then you know the benefits of practicing. Someone who picks up a guitar several times a week is going to very quickly be a better guitarist than someone who plays a few times a month.
The steps are how people in AA recover from alcoholism. Often new people get the impression that meetings are a viable answer for their problem and if they buy that they get worse until they drink again. That's the best case.
Observing is good, participating is better. Raising your questions about things that are unclear is honest and helps things along. Too often new people keep quiet and interpret important aspects incorrectly for themselves instead of asking for explainations and getting them right.
Yeah I did get there early.I was approached by a very polite man who introduced me to many people.Then after meeting got started half of the people went into another room and the remaining half each told there story.and at the end I said a little bit about me.Seemed like a very sincere group of people.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Dee74
did you get any numbers of people to call from the meetings Stubbs?
D
D
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
Originally Posted by stubbs
Yes I did get a list.But I never called.The disire was to strong to even want to call.and I dint even know these people yet.So yes I falied.
Then I thought about those numbers. But the list was in my car and it was cold and I was in for the night. Tried to nestle in with some video games but it wasn't working and within minutes I was getting dressed to go outside -
To get the list ?
Nah, to go to the liquor store and get some vodka. :rotfxko
I'll never forget coming back home, still itchy and irritable, sitting down quite "soberly" in front of my computer and opening that bottle. As soon as the vapors hit my nose - the itchiness and irritability went away. Then the warm, burning sensation as it hit my lips and gums, travelled down my gullet into the tummy - that warmth. As the ether began to rise to my head I felt one, I felt whole. All was right.
Then that thing happened. "You're never going to be able to stop, you falied you ****, why don't you just go to town and do it right - drink it all".
It was "The Beast". The thing in my mind that would never let me recover if I listened to it. I pulled up short and remember telling myself "I don't what the **** this disease crap is - but I think I have it - and if there's not drinking involved with this AA stuff and they can help - I'll believe and do anything they tell me".
I poured it out, told my wife when she came home. The next day is my sobriety date, I picked up a nine year chip last October.
It can be done. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Stubbs, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's common to give newcomers our numbers and extremely rare when one calls before they drink. The AAs make the offer knowing all that and still do it because it's good for them to offer to help you.
When I moved a few years ago I found my phone list from the '70s. I'd put the info from the various business cards and scraps of paper on one piece of legal pad and carried that around drinking for years before tossing it in a drawer. I'd put little stars next to the cute women's numbers because that's the kind of guy I was and made notes on some others. After I got sober I found it again and saw my best friend in AA was on it. I guess I'd ran into him while I was half-drunk in some meeting. I was a little hurt he didn't remember, but then neither did I. He's 33 years sober now and would have been about 1 when we 'met'.
If I had called him before I drank I know he'd have taken the time to help me, but I had a few years to go before I could hear what the AAs had been saying all along, and begin using the same solution that had been working for my good friend and the other AAs on my phone list.
Soon after my number too was being carried around and ignored in the wallets of wet drunks for years. Maybe yours will be too at some point.
When I moved a few years ago I found my phone list from the '70s. I'd put the info from the various business cards and scraps of paper on one piece of legal pad and carried that around drinking for years before tossing it in a drawer. I'd put little stars next to the cute women's numbers because that's the kind of guy I was and made notes on some others. After I got sober I found it again and saw my best friend in AA was on it. I guess I'd ran into him while I was half-drunk in some meeting. I was a little hurt he didn't remember, but then neither did I. He's 33 years sober now and would have been about 1 when we 'met'.
If I had called him before I drank I know he'd have taken the time to help me, but I had a few years to go before I could hear what the AAs had been saying all along, and begin using the same solution that had been working for my good friend and the other AAs on my phone list.
Soon after my number too was being carried around and ignored in the wallets of wet drunks for years. Maybe yours will be too at some point.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by langkah
Stubbs, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's common to give newcomers our numbers and extremely rare when one calls before they drink. The AAs make the offer knowing all that and still do it because it's good for them to offer to help you.
When I moved a few years ago I found my phone list from the '70s. I'd put the info from the various business cards and scraps of paper on one piece of legal pad and carried that around drinking for years before tossing it in a drawer. I'd put little stars next to the cute women's numbers because that's the kind of guy I was and made notes on some others. After I got sober I found it again and saw my best friend in AA was on it. I guess I'd ran into him while I was half-drunk in some meeting. I was a little hurt he didn't remember, but then neither did I. He's 33 years sober now and would have been about 1 when we 'met'.
If I had called him before I drank I know he'd have taken the time to help me, but I had a few years to go before I could hear what the AAs had been saying all along, and begin using the same solution that had been working for my good friend and the other AAs on my phone list.
Soon after my number too was being carried around and ignored in the wallets of wet drunks for years. Maybe yours will be too at some point.
When I moved a few years ago I found my phone list from the '70s. I'd put the info from the various business cards and scraps of paper on one piece of legal pad and carried that around drinking for years before tossing it in a drawer. I'd put little stars next to the cute women's numbers because that's the kind of guy I was and made notes on some others. After I got sober I found it again and saw my best friend in AA was on it. I guess I'd ran into him while I was half-drunk in some meeting. I was a little hurt he didn't remember, but then neither did I. He's 33 years sober now and would have been about 1 when we 'met'.
If I had called him before I drank I know he'd have taken the time to help me, but I had a few years to go before I could hear what the AAs had been saying all along, and begin using the same solution that had been working for my good friend and the other AAs on my phone list.
Soon after my number too was being carried around and ignored in the wallets of wet drunks for years. Maybe yours will be too at some point.
kept YOU sober.blessings
zb
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
thanks a million
Thanks again for your words of wisdom..all of you.Everytime I post at least one person comes forward with a reply,if not a few.It's more appreciatted then you know
.I have a meeting tonight will let you know how it goes.
.I have a meeting tonight will let you know how it goes.
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