Sending inappropriate messages while drunk
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
yup, i did that s#it all of the time. Mostly at people from my past. I let loose and really let them have it. I regret every single one.
I lost a few friends in the process.
it is what it is. I've apologized and made my peace the best i could. In time...if you stay or get sober, so will you.
Welcome
I lost a few friends in the process.
it is what it is. I've apologized and made my peace the best i could. In time...if you stay or get sober, so will you.
Welcome
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 4
I am new here and signed up while looking up this topic on Google. Facebook has opened up a whole new world of contact. You can literally get a hold of anyone. I would message anyone that came to mind and say totally weird things to them. I would not typically say anything mean, but rather stuff that didn't make any sense. The worst part is that I actually type really well while drunk, so it pretty much looked like I was sober, except that it was very late and night and very odd. And of course, the odd FB posts. I accidentally shared a picture of someone I barely knew onto my own page!
The other night (three days ago) I sent texts (not sure what they said) to people and erased them so I wouldn't have to even look in the morning. I am pretty certain that I need to permanently be sober, because I get weird when I am drunk and like to drink alone (which leads to messaging people). Ugh. I do not drink as much as I used to, but I want to quit for good.
The other night (three days ago) I sent texts (not sure what they said) to people and erased them so I wouldn't have to even look in the morning. I am pretty certain that I need to permanently be sober, because I get weird when I am drunk and like to drink alone (which leads to messaging people). Ugh. I do not drink as much as I used to, but I want to quit for good.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 6
Yes I can identify with this to some extent and the only way to stop it is to stop drinking.
Towards the end of my drinking, I was spamming my facebook friends with ‘meaningful’ youtube songs (cringe) and replying to annoying facebook messages (one trying to sell stuff that I should have just ignored) with sarky horrible comments.
What I did: I woke up one morning after a binge which had lasted days, feeling like I knew this had to stop. I drank one last can of beer to take the edge off and wrote a facebook status for all to see, admitting that I was an alcoholic and that I needed to stop drinking forever, one day at a time. I was shaking as I posted it as I knew then that I would not be able to go back on it without extreme embarrassment and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy drink anymore anyway, with everyone knowing my ‘secret’.
The response was overwhelming and brought me to tears, I got lovely messages and more support than I could ever dream of. Apart from the odd former drinking ‘friend’ who told me they didn’t think I was an alcoholic (!) everyone was amazing and I think it was the best thing I ever did. 47 days on and I’m rebuilding my life sober. Good luck and keep coming here because it really does help.
Towards the end of my drinking, I was spamming my facebook friends with ‘meaningful’ youtube songs (cringe) and replying to annoying facebook messages (one trying to sell stuff that I should have just ignored) with sarky horrible comments.
What I did: I woke up one morning after a binge which had lasted days, feeling like I knew this had to stop. I drank one last can of beer to take the edge off and wrote a facebook status for all to see, admitting that I was an alcoholic and that I needed to stop drinking forever, one day at a time. I was shaking as I posted it as I knew then that I would not be able to go back on it without extreme embarrassment and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy drink anymore anyway, with everyone knowing my ‘secret’.
The response was overwhelming and brought me to tears, I got lovely messages and more support than I could ever dream of. Apart from the odd former drinking ‘friend’ who told me they didn’t think I was an alcoholic (!) everyone was amazing and I think it was the best thing I ever did. 47 days on and I’m rebuilding my life sober. Good luck and keep coming here because it really does help.
MTH
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 3
I'm so glad I found this forum today, knowing that I'm not the only one who sends countless weird, suggestive and sometimes hurtful messages goes some way to alleviating the intolerable shame and anxiety I felt.
When I first begin to binge drink my messages are usually light-hearted and fun, nothing too embarrassing, but after the third/fourth day of drinking I descend into a drunken depressed mess, talking about suicide, self harm, mental health topics or dark themes to people I barely know. Then when I sober up I return to my fun bubbly self again (after the hangover has shifted).
Some people actually think I'm bi-polar because of this, though I know full well it is the alcohol taking over me.
Anyway, I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. I've only been a few days sober but reading this is very motivating!
When I first begin to binge drink my messages are usually light-hearted and fun, nothing too embarrassing, but after the third/fourth day of drinking I descend into a drunken depressed mess, talking about suicide, self harm, mental health topics or dark themes to people I barely know. Then when I sober up I return to my fun bubbly self again (after the hangover has shifted).
Some people actually think I'm bi-polar because of this, though I know full well it is the alcohol taking over me.
Anyway, I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. I've only been a few days sober but reading this is very motivating!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Unfortunately I used to do that nightly. I used to text and then get upset and frustrated. I've posted this before but about two years ago, shortly before I got sober, I got so incensed with someone I threw my phone in the swimming pool. I also used to post crazy things on a music forum and the next morning had the fun experience of reading late night posts, having no recollection of having written and and not knowing what I was talking about. I'm happy to say that is in the past.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 6
Ruined Performing Arts Career
This was all I used to do up until August 30th.
I would get drunk at a bar for hours after work and that eventually led to me hooking up with people who regularly did cocaine.
After getting into that stuff I would stay up for hours going through the "online now" list on my fb friends list saying hello to every girl I thought would want to have extremely inappropriate conversations.
Some were into it, some were polite about saying no and a few got very angry and had their boyfriend reply.
Eventually an extremely embarassing and personal message I decided to send to a total stranger was screencaptured and posted in a fb group that consisted of all my colleges in the performing arts scene.
363 comments later the whole thing has spun out of control and words like "sexual harassment" and "victims" are being thrown around.
I'd like to try and save my reputation but I have to go through the 12 Steps first. I'm hoping this website (I registered to reply to this post) can be part of Step 3 since I am a social pariah.
I would get drunk at a bar for hours after work and that eventually led to me hooking up with people who regularly did cocaine.
After getting into that stuff I would stay up for hours going through the "online now" list on my fb friends list saying hello to every girl I thought would want to have extremely inappropriate conversations.
Some were into it, some were polite about saying no and a few got very angry and had their boyfriend reply.
Eventually an extremely embarassing and personal message I decided to send to a total stranger was screencaptured and posted in a fb group that consisted of all my colleges in the performing arts scene.
363 comments later the whole thing has spun out of control and words like "sexual harassment" and "victims" are being thrown around.
I'd like to try and save my reputation but I have to go through the 12 Steps first. I'm hoping this website (I registered to reply to this post) can be part of Step 3 since I am a social pariah.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hi speck. I did something similar: in a blackout, involving my husband’s work.
Awful, awful, awful and the fallout from it was deeply, personally humiliating for me on all fronts. It was my bottom.
Hope this is yours. It can only go up from here if you stay sober. I’m staying sober primarily to keep my personal dignity. Join me in that! It’s so much better on this side of the fence.
Awful, awful, awful and the fallout from it was deeply, personally humiliating for me on all fronts. It was my bottom.
Hope this is yours. It can only go up from here if you stay sober. I’m staying sober primarily to keep my personal dignity. Join me in that! It’s so much better on this side of the fence.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by BrianTX2000 
my wife does this all the time. I thought she was crazy until I learned she was an alcoholic.
(I was. Alcoholic and crazy. It causes insanity.)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Speck85
I sure hope it's my bottom. Yowza.
I got to the point where it was completely and utterly unacceptable to me to ever experience that again. It followed that I could never guarantee that without permanent sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by Jupitar35
Hi every one
I'm new to this and I am a bit drunk now.
My drinking has been a problem for about 5 years. I drank more than was sensible before that, but it wasn't really a problem, although no doubt it was building up.
There's a lot to the story, but what is happening now, and has been for a few years is, I get drunk and I send totally awful messages, either by phone text or on Facebook. These messages are weird and inappropriate beyond compehension really. First I went for the person who had just left me, then I went for my ex before that, and I carried on with the original person, but going for their friends on Facebook long after my original ex had blocked me, writing utter nonsense.
Now I am writing total madness to people on Facebook I haven't seen for over 10 years.
This is only a brief account of what I have been doing, but does any one else find themselves getting drunk and sending messages by text or online that they feel utterly sick about the next morning?
I'm getting help for my drinking now, but I still wonder if drinking has led any one else to this weird texting or online behaviour that they just feel like dying about?
I'm new to this and I am a bit drunk now.
My drinking has been a problem for about 5 years. I drank more than was sensible before that, but it wasn't really a problem, although no doubt it was building up.
There's a lot to the story, but what is happening now, and has been for a few years is, I get drunk and I send totally awful messages, either by phone text or on Facebook. These messages are weird and inappropriate beyond compehension really. First I went for the person who had just left me, then I went for my ex before that, and I carried on with the original person, but going for their friends on Facebook long after my original ex had blocked me, writing utter nonsense.
Now I am writing total madness to people on Facebook I haven't seen for over 10 years.
This is only a brief account of what I have been doing, but does any one else find themselves getting drunk and sending messages by text or online that they feel utterly sick about the next morning?
I'm getting help for my drinking now, but I still wonder if drinking has led any one else to this weird texting or online behaviour that they just feel like dying about?
Personally, I don't have Facebook nor do I particularly like social media. So I guess the potential to do this was not there.
You started texting your ex.......you didn't know and probably don't know how to get over a breakup in a healthy manner. Not your fault, you didn't know how to tie your laces until you learned.
Are you lonely? these sound like the actions of someone who is very lonely....
Do you have an semblance of a social life? do you get out of the house much?
These are areas to analyze and decide to make a plane of action that will improve these aspects of your life...
You also seem overly concerned with others' opinions of you. It's another "inner game" are that can be worked on with time and patience.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Brit in New Zealand
Posts: 160
Bump.
I've lost count of the times I have commented, messaged and video called on Facebook, drunk texted and dialed. I made a complete prat of myself pretty much every time. The last time I did it was about three weeks ago, I was having my sad little party for one (three if you count the two bottles of Merlot I had at home after the six pints of Stella at the pub) and I guess I felt lonely so I logged onto Facebook. And it turned into a bit of a rampage when I descended into blackout.
I was a really nasty and bitter person. A couple of people who I met travelling years ago who I had messaged because I am visiting their country this December hadn't replied to me while we were making plans. A normal person would think 'huh, guess they are busy' or if they don't reply then they just carry on with their lives.
Nope, not me. I sent them both a pretty vile message using such foul language I even shocked myself. Telling them they were bad friends and to eff off out my life forever then blocking them. I was way too mortified to contact them to apologise.
I ranted to one of my girlfriends on there about how I hated men, they are all jerks etc etc. I commented on my friend's status about the Wonder Woman film about how I would go gay for her and just generally sounding like a trashy, blithering idiot. Followed by a private message to how I missed him and our amazing times in Australia.
*Facepalm* I solved this by putting a page lock for Facebook between the hours of 22:00 and 09:00. There was a fairly decent chance of me to be sober enough not to lose control at the keyboard during those hours.
Don't beat yourself up - most drunk people have done it, even those who don't have a problem with drinking.
I've lost count of the times I have commented, messaged and video called on Facebook, drunk texted and dialed. I made a complete prat of myself pretty much every time. The last time I did it was about three weeks ago, I was having my sad little party for one (three if you count the two bottles of Merlot I had at home after the six pints of Stella at the pub) and I guess I felt lonely so I logged onto Facebook. And it turned into a bit of a rampage when I descended into blackout.
I was a really nasty and bitter person. A couple of people who I met travelling years ago who I had messaged because I am visiting their country this December hadn't replied to me while we were making plans. A normal person would think 'huh, guess they are busy' or if they don't reply then they just carry on with their lives.
Nope, not me. I sent them both a pretty vile message using such foul language I even shocked myself. Telling them they were bad friends and to eff off out my life forever then blocking them. I was way too mortified to contact them to apologise.
I ranted to one of my girlfriends on there about how I hated men, they are all jerks etc etc. I commented on my friend's status about the Wonder Woman film about how I would go gay for her and just generally sounding like a trashy, blithering idiot. Followed by a private message to how I missed him and our amazing times in Australia.
*Facepalm* I solved this by putting a page lock for Facebook between the hours of 22:00 and 09:00. There was a fairly decent chance of me to be sober enough not to lose control at the keyboard during those hours.
Don't beat yourself up - most drunk people have done it, even those who don't have a problem with drinking.
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
This was a big thrill for me when I was drinking.
For me, it was symptomatic of my acute social anxiety which told me that bottom line, I was lonely. Drinking took the edge off and the social mediums gave me the distance I maintain even as sober.
So part of my recovery is to gently but with purpose, step outside of my comfort zone and isolation, and start to socialize through mediums conducive to sober living: hike groups, community gardening, even the gym!
For me, it was symptomatic of my acute social anxiety which told me that bottom line, I was lonely. Drinking took the edge off and the social mediums gave me the distance I maintain even as sober.
So part of my recovery is to gently but with purpose, step outside of my comfort zone and isolation, and start to socialize through mediums conducive to sober living: hike groups, community gardening, even the gym!
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
Something else that came to mind.
The day after drinking and writing some silly texts and emails, I said: NEW DAY. I am leaving it behind and will not let the shame destroy the new lease on life I was taking. Glean from it what wisdom you can but IMHO, move forward.
In this day of digitization and technology "disruption", getting peculiar messages on social media from estranged exes, friends, family members, is not so out of the ordinary anymore. You are most likely thinking about it more than those you have written.
Chin up, eyes open, feet forward.
The day after drinking and writing some silly texts and emails, I said: NEW DAY. I am leaving it behind and will not let the shame destroy the new lease on life I was taking. Glean from it what wisdom you can but IMHO, move forward.
In this day of digitization and technology "disruption", getting peculiar messages on social media from estranged exes, friends, family members, is not so out of the ordinary anymore. You are most likely thinking about it more than those you have written.
Chin up, eyes open, feet forward.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1
This thread was exactly what I needed to read.
My girlfriend left me almost five months ago and since then I've developed a habit of getting blackout drunk and embarrassing myself by messaging anyone I can online, still getting used to going home alone. I started messaging people I haven't seen or talked to for years and the thought of seeing them again and having to deal with that embarrassment eats at me.
The majority of the time it's nothing too bad it's more just cringeworthy messages I'd rather forget. I have never done this before in my life but I've noticed a repeating pattern of taking drinking way to far and the messaging is a constant reminder of that. I keep telling myself I wont do it and have even given my phone to friends to prevent me.
After reading all the positive posts I feel like eliminating alcohol from my life all together is the best thing to do which is why I signed up on here, to stop it before it gets too far.
My girlfriend left me almost five months ago and since then I've developed a habit of getting blackout drunk and embarrassing myself by messaging anyone I can online, still getting used to going home alone. I started messaging people I haven't seen or talked to for years and the thought of seeing them again and having to deal with that embarrassment eats at me.
The majority of the time it's nothing too bad it's more just cringeworthy messages I'd rather forget. I have never done this before in my life but I've noticed a repeating pattern of taking drinking way to far and the messaging is a constant reminder of that. I keep telling myself I wont do it and have even given my phone to friends to prevent me.
After reading all the positive posts I feel like eliminating alcohol from my life all together is the best thing to do which is why I signed up on here, to stop it before it gets too far.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by Jupitar35
Hi every one
I'm new to this and I am a bit drunk now.
My drinking has been a problem for about 5 years. I drank more than was sensible before that, but it wasn't really a problem, although no doubt it was building up.
There's a lot to the story, but what is happening now, and has been for a few years is, I get drunk and I send totally awful messages, either by phone text or on Facebook. These messages are weird and inappropriate beyond compehension really. First I went for the person who had just left me, then I went for my ex before that, and I carried on with the original person, but going for their friends on Facebook long after my original ex had blocked me, writing utter nonsense.
Now I am writing total madness to people on Facebook I haven't seen for over 10 years.
This is only a brief account of what I have been doing, but does any one else find themselves getting drunk and sending messages by text or online that they feel utterly sick about the next morning?
I'm getting help for my drinking now, but I still wonder if drinking has led any one else to this weird texting or online behaviour that they just feel like dying about?
I'm new to this and I am a bit drunk now.
My drinking has been a problem for about 5 years. I drank more than was sensible before that, but it wasn't really a problem, although no doubt it was building up.
There's a lot to the story, but what is happening now, and has been for a few years is, I get drunk and I send totally awful messages, either by phone text or on Facebook. These messages are weird and inappropriate beyond compehension really. First I went for the person who had just left me, then I went for my ex before that, and I carried on with the original person, but going for their friends on Facebook long after my original ex had blocked me, writing utter nonsense.
Now I am writing total madness to people on Facebook I haven't seen for over 10 years.
This is only a brief account of what I have been doing, but does any one else find themselves getting drunk and sending messages by text or online that they feel utterly sick about the next morning?
I'm getting help for my drinking now, but I still wonder if drinking has led any one else to this weird texting or online behaviour that they just feel like dying about?
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